"i am not walking over any fucking grave stones, fuck that shit."
My weekend wasn't half bad. Friday I spent it all day at home for the most part. I played CS with Bobby. We're on good terms? It's all very complicated. We hashed everything out from Thursday night over the following couple of days. His crying and my crying seemed to aid each other. He feels bad. I feel bad. We don't talk about it. He seems ever so loyal again. We aren't technically in a formal boyfriend girlfriend relationship because he says he doesn't want to change his mind and hurt me again, but if he does he's basically going to be breaking up with me either way. We're exactly the same. It bothers me. A lot of things still bother me, actually. I just try to not dwell on it, because I fear that if I do, I'm going to ruin whatever good we have left in our relationship. I don't know. I'm just going with the god damn flow of things because I'm still confused.
Saturday I spent the day doing.. nothing. I think I played a lot of CS, had my hair dyed. It's back to brown, which I'm happy about. I regret spending all that money to go blond. It wasn't worth it. I was supposed to work concessions, but I really just didn't feel like it at all. I had to work with people I didn't really like, and I knew I'd get stuck doing bathroom duty. The $70 or so dollars just didn't seem worth it, so I called in at 4 and told them I was feeling ill. Later that night, like around 11 or so, I sent Jake a message on Facebook asking to hang out. I was pretty bored out of my mind, and thus pretty desperate for some company. I'm not really very fond of him right now, what with all his attention-getting statuses he posts on Facebook and the fact that he told Nick, Cameron, and Andrew S that we had a "thing", which we definitely did not. He and Megan sorta had a thing, sorta. I don't even think you can call that a thing. Jake tried to have a thing with both of us, but he flaked out. I was with Bobby, and before that we were bed buddies because we stayed at Nick's place and smoked ourselves stupid for two days. Anyway. I was on the phone with Bobby whilst messaging him, and I said I'd be over in a bit. But then Andrew R texted me and asked me to hang out, and he was with Nick and Jackson, and later Cameron and Andrew S. I immediately jumped at the chance to hang out with them, and so I kind of did an awful thing and ditched Jake without saying a word. I just signed out of Facebook and left.
I ended up following Nick and the crew around in my car. We went from one party (the first we did not go in) to Avieta's. I saw my friend Kyle, who is my Advanced Algebra buddy, and various other people I am familiar and semi-friends with. I somehow ended up pouring Kyle shots, and he said that I was amazing or really cool or something along those lines. I took it as a compliment and excused the fact that he was completely trashed. He says that to me when he's sober though, so I think the comment was mostly genuine. We stayed at that party for about 10 minutes, just enough to make appearances and say hello to people, and then Nick, Cameron, both Andrews, Jackson and myself skedaddled off. Andrew R rode with me in my car, Cameron and Andrew S in Andrew's car, and Nick and Jackson in Nick's car. Nick took Jackson home, and Andrew and I went back to Nick's so Cameron could get his car, and then followed Cameron and Andrew to Andrew's house, where we hung out for about an hour. Nick left around 1 I think, and then the rest of us went on a short adventure up to Crenshaw hill and walked around and down to a graveyard. Andrew S was huddled in a blanket and being a huge chicken shit. I mean literally, he was really creeped out. "I'm afraid of getting possessed and all that paranormal shit. It's a huge fear of mine." I sorta laughed and poked fun at him. When we got to the graveyard he was like, "I'm not walking over any fucking grave stones, no. Absolutely not. Fuck that shit." We left there soon after, and Destinee kept calling Andrew R because you know, she was home with the baby.
Brief intermission: Andrew R and Destinee had their baby Thursday, so yeah. He's a dad now, and she's a mom, and she still hates me, and there's still lots of drama. It sucks 'cause Andrew really is my friend, and now he has a kid, and so I'm going to see even less of him now. End intermission.
We went back to Andrew S's house and took pictures in the pitch black of Cameron's van. It was bright and we were tired, and eventually Andrew S, who was curled up in his blanket, fell asleep (or pretended to fall asleep), and the three of us talked until we all got really tired and the talking stopped. I took Andrew R home around 3am, Cameron left, and Andrew S went inside and did not go back to sleep. He texted me "D:" and a brief conversation about him wanting me to come back and cuddle commenced, but soon died. I didn't really say anything misleading I don't think. I'm not sure what it was about. But the last few times we've hung out in a group Andrew and I seem migrate toward each other. It's weird, and I don't know how I feel about it, even though I am attracted to him, and do think he's cool. It's probably more complicated because of all this Bobby business. I am unsure.
Anyway. I took Andrew R home, and by the time I got home 7 minutes later, he had called me twice and texted me. He was locked out of Destinee's apartment, where his keys to his car and house were. So I went back to her place, picked him up, drove him home, and then went home again. I fell asleep around 4am.
Today was less exciting. I woke up really late, got ready, went to Costco for gas and Target for deodorant. After that quick outing I came back home to check my money situation and make some quick calculations about future-money, and decided to go to DQ before I went off to work. Andrew S was working, and he made my food. He gave me a look and smiled, sorta, and turned pink in the cheeks. I don't know what that means, but I acted like I didn't notice and didn't sorta go there to see him. When he I left he was out in the parking lot getting stuff to stock and asked me, "Did you just come here to eat?" I was thrown by that question, so I just nodded and said, "Yeah." He asked if I made my food, and I told him what I had, and he said he did, so I said thank you to him. He said, "Yeah, you're welcome," and we said goodbye and see ya later and yada yada. I got in my car and left and he went into the back room and I forgot about him for the rest of the night.
I went back home to eat my blizzard and played CS a little bit before work, and then I went to work and was sorta late. I saw Megan there, and she was working concessions, which was pretty god damn dead. She told me she was stressed about homework and very tired and I felt really bad for her. I was going to text her while I was score keeping, but I had Allen and the first thing he told me was "You know you have to check ID's now, right?" and "Don't text. Absolutely not texting. I want to fucking kill Will for texting, and it's Will. It was 8 o'clock, and Will was texting." I found the whole thing pretty amusing, and only texted during half times. Not very many people said anything to me though, so I mostly just went far far away in my thoughts. Allen was pretty funny, I enjoyed him as a ref. I had Brian also, and he seemed.. well, the same as ever. The First game was almost a stop clock, and the second game was a stop clock. Work was good, yeah yeah.
After work I went over to Arthur and Dee's house to watch the rest of the Blazers vs. Suns game, and the Blazers won. They pulled some pretty stupid shit at the end that almost cost them though, it was humiliating. So yeah, I socialized for a bit for about an hour and a half or so and then went home, did laundry, some homework, and now I am off to bed.
I really am wanting another tattoo though, holy shit. I can't decided if I want my parenthesis or my birds first, or where to get them. I don't knowww, bleh. Whatever, here's to hoping tomorrow is good!
Saturday I spent the day doing.. nothing. I think I played a lot of CS, had my hair dyed. It's back to brown, which I'm happy about. I regret spending all that money to go blond. It wasn't worth it. I was supposed to work concessions, but I really just didn't feel like it at all. I had to work with people I didn't really like, and I knew I'd get stuck doing bathroom duty. The $70 or so dollars just didn't seem worth it, so I called in at 4 and told them I was feeling ill. Later that night, like around 11 or so, I sent Jake a message on Facebook asking to hang out. I was pretty bored out of my mind, and thus pretty desperate for some company. I'm not really very fond of him right now, what with all his attention-getting statuses he posts on Facebook and the fact that he told Nick, Cameron, and Andrew S that we had a "thing", which we definitely did not. He and Megan sorta had a thing, sorta. I don't even think you can call that a thing. Jake tried to have a thing with both of us, but he flaked out. I was with Bobby, and before that we were bed buddies because we stayed at Nick's place and smoked ourselves stupid for two days. Anyway. I was on the phone with Bobby whilst messaging him, and I said I'd be over in a bit. But then Andrew R texted me and asked me to hang out, and he was with Nick and Jackson, and later Cameron and Andrew S. I immediately jumped at the chance to hang out with them, and so I kind of did an awful thing and ditched Jake without saying a word. I just signed out of Facebook and left.
I ended up following Nick and the crew around in my car. We went from one party (the first we did not go in) to Avieta's. I saw my friend Kyle, who is my Advanced Algebra buddy, and various other people I am familiar and semi-friends with. I somehow ended up pouring Kyle shots, and he said that I was amazing or really cool or something along those lines. I took it as a compliment and excused the fact that he was completely trashed. He says that to me when he's sober though, so I think the comment was mostly genuine. We stayed at that party for about 10 minutes, just enough to make appearances and say hello to people, and then Nick, Cameron, both Andrews, Jackson and myself skedaddled off. Andrew R rode with me in my car, Cameron and Andrew S in Andrew's car, and Nick and Jackson in Nick's car. Nick took Jackson home, and Andrew and I went back to Nick's so Cameron could get his car, and then followed Cameron and Andrew to Andrew's house, where we hung out for about an hour. Nick left around 1 I think, and then the rest of us went on a short adventure up to Crenshaw hill and walked around and down to a graveyard. Andrew S was huddled in a blanket and being a huge chicken shit. I mean literally, he was really creeped out. "I'm afraid of getting possessed and all that paranormal shit. It's a huge fear of mine." I sorta laughed and poked fun at him. When we got to the graveyard he was like, "I'm not walking over any fucking grave stones, no. Absolutely not. Fuck that shit." We left there soon after, and Destinee kept calling Andrew R because you know, she was home with the baby.
Brief intermission: Andrew R and Destinee had their baby Thursday, so yeah. He's a dad now, and she's a mom, and she still hates me, and there's still lots of drama. It sucks 'cause Andrew really is my friend, and now he has a kid, and so I'm going to see even less of him now. End intermission.
We went back to Andrew S's house and took pictures in the pitch black of Cameron's van. It was bright and we were tired, and eventually Andrew S, who was curled up in his blanket, fell asleep (or pretended to fall asleep), and the three of us talked until we all got really tired and the talking stopped. I took Andrew R home around 3am, Cameron left, and Andrew S went inside and did not go back to sleep. He texted me "D:" and a brief conversation about him wanting me to come back and cuddle commenced, but soon died. I didn't really say anything misleading I don't think. I'm not sure what it was about. But the last few times we've hung out in a group Andrew and I seem migrate toward each other. It's weird, and I don't know how I feel about it, even though I am attracted to him, and do think he's cool. It's probably more complicated because of all this Bobby business. I am unsure.
Anyway. I took Andrew R home, and by the time I got home 7 minutes later, he had called me twice and texted me. He was locked out of Destinee's apartment, where his keys to his car and house were. So I went back to her place, picked him up, drove him home, and then went home again. I fell asleep around 4am.
Today was less exciting. I woke up really late, got ready, went to Costco for gas and Target for deodorant. After that quick outing I came back home to check my money situation and make some quick calculations about future-money, and decided to go to DQ before I went off to work. Andrew S was working, and he made my food. He gave me a look and smiled, sorta, and turned pink in the cheeks. I don't know what that means, but I acted like I didn't notice and didn't sorta go there to see him. When he I left he was out in the parking lot getting stuff to stock and asked me, "Did you just come here to eat?" I was thrown by that question, so I just nodded and said, "Yeah." He asked if I made my food, and I told him what I had, and he said he did, so I said thank you to him. He said, "Yeah, you're welcome," and we said goodbye and see ya later and yada yada. I got in my car and left and he went into the back room and I forgot about him for the rest of the night.
I went back home to eat my blizzard and played CS a little bit before work, and then I went to work and was sorta late. I saw Megan there, and she was working concessions, which was pretty god damn dead. She told me she was stressed about homework and very tired and I felt really bad for her. I was going to text her while I was score keeping, but I had Allen and the first thing he told me was "You know you have to check ID's now, right?" and "Don't text. Absolutely not texting. I want to fucking kill Will for texting, and it's Will. It was 8 o'clock, and Will was texting." I found the whole thing pretty amusing, and only texted during half times. Not very many people said anything to me though, so I mostly just went far far away in my thoughts. Allen was pretty funny, I enjoyed him as a ref. I had Brian also, and he seemed.. well, the same as ever. The First game was almost a stop clock, and the second game was a stop clock. Work was good, yeah yeah.
After work I went over to Arthur and Dee's house to watch the rest of the Blazers vs. Suns game, and the Blazers won. They pulled some pretty stupid shit at the end that almost cost them though, it was humiliating. So yeah, I socialized for a bit for about an hour and a half or so and then went home, did laundry, some homework, and now I am off to bed.
I really am wanting another tattoo though, holy shit. I can't decided if I want my parenthesis or my birds first, or where to get them. I don't knowww, bleh. Whatever, here's to hoping tomorrow is good!