I love you so soundly and I will do anything to drag you forward.
Todaaaaay was not so bad! I am tired though, wow wow wow.
I could not sleep last night AT ALL, so I read a lot of Adverbs and got through the chapter Soundly, and it was so beautiful. I felt both good and sad. I hope love like that exists. Actually, I know it does. Anyway, it was lovely, and I teared up, and now I'm in love with that chapter and that book the same as Megan probably, which nice. It's fantastic.
I have been sleeping very badly ever since I've come home from New Jersey. I lay awake in bed for an hour or two, or in this case of the last few days, six hours before I fall asleep. You can imagine how that interferes with life and school and being a functioning human being. Last night I read, and then tried to sleep, and then couldn't, and then read, and then tried to sleep, and then couldn't. Not until 6 o'clock in the morning. That doesn't work for me.
I ended up missing an appoint with my counselor in the morning and felt TERRIBLE about it but I could not even find reason to drag myself out of bed I was so exhausted. So when I did finally get around to waking up, I immediately told my mother that I haven't been able to sleep for a while, and it's getting worse, so she called and made me a doctor's appointment at my doctor's office on Chambers. I went to school first to check in with my counselor, and then skedaddled on down to make my appointment.
Because I'm eighteen now, they ended up having to create and put me on a separate account, which took forever and I was technically 20ish minutes late to my appointment just by sitting at the check-in counter. When they finally got all of my information entered in, she asked me to pay the co-pay, so I handed her my card. She came back, saying, "It looks like we're doing only cash today. So you can either pay on the way out after you're done with your appointment, or we can just bill it to you." THAT MAKES NO SENSE TO ME. Why can I pay when I'm leaving but not while I'm sitting there checking in? That kind of blew my mind. Whatever. Then I went to sit down and started reading Adverbs. When the nurse called me back, on the opposite side of the check in counter, so it was like doing a wide "U," she asked me what I was reading. "Adverbs," I said, "by Daniel Handler. Do you know who Lemony Snicket is? The guy who wrote the Series of Unfortunate Events?" She shook her head no. "Well," I said, "it's the same guy. Anyway, this book is about love. It's a love story. Each title of the chapter is a different adverb for the way you can love someone, or the way these people loved other people. It's a great book. You should read it." She seemed really interested, and she was REALLY NICE. I love it when I get nice nurses, because it makes the doctor visit so much better. Anyway, when she left the room she told me to feel better and get some sleep and I tapped the book and told her to get it if she could. Then the door clicked.
When the doctor came in (it was a MAN. I don't like man doctors), he had this kind of sluggish speech like he was trying very careful to be precise about everything that he was going to say. He asked me all the standard questions, Why are you here? What medicines are you taking? What have you done already to help your problem? I told him I wasn't falling asleep and that it was probably stress related because I'm very stressed about school. I said I lost my Ambien script (I call them scripts now, because that is what they call prescriptions out on the East coast, primarily in Jersey. It's odd) and then he told me things about helping sleep that I already knew. I told him that, and lied when he asked if I did drugs or drank, because occasionally, I do. Anyway, he went on about this list called Sleep Hygiene and was like, "Bed is a place for sleep. Not for watching television, or reading, but sleeping." He paused. "...And other things." MY DOCTOR, WHO IS A MAN, MADE A SEXUAL PASS AT ME. I find that wildly inappropriate but I also found it hilarious so I just smiled a lot and held my breath to keep from laughing. I thought the man was kind of an idiot, because he just kept telling me things I knew and told me about Ambien which I was already educated about, all in his sluggish speech. He ended up writing me a script for 10 Ambien pills that I have to fill tomorrow.
After my doctor appointment I went back to school to check in with some teachers. I grabbed food from PC Market and then went home, and then went hunting for Adverbs at Smith Family Books, but to no avail. I went to Barnes & Noble, too, with the same results. However, I got a copy of The Tales of Beetle and Bard, a hardback copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets from Smith's, and then The Wasteland and Other Poems by T.S. Elliot and Darkside Zodiac: In Love. So basically I spent too much money on books for myself and didn't find what I was looking for. I'm going to the other Smith's bookstore tomorrow and taking all of the books I will never read again to see if they will buy them. If they don't have another copy of Adverbs I don't know what I'm going to do, because I really want Bobby to read it, and I want to send it to him as a gift with my surprise, but I'm not really interested in lending out my copy just yet, lol. Amazon.com has one for $7.00 right now though, hardback, so I might order that and then send everything maybe!
Now it is 8:00 exactly and I am tired. I am going to watch Dead Like Me and read some and talk to Bobby when he is done reading his 500 line poem by Percy Shelly. By then I assume it will be an appropriate time to sleep, which I am going to do tonight I think. I'm very excited about sleep. I love sleep so much, and it makes me crabby that I am not getting any.
I could not sleep last night AT ALL, so I read a lot of Adverbs and got through the chapter Soundly, and it was so beautiful. I felt both good and sad. I hope love like that exists. Actually, I know it does. Anyway, it was lovely, and I teared up, and now I'm in love with that chapter and that book the same as Megan probably, which nice. It's fantastic.
I have been sleeping very badly ever since I've come home from New Jersey. I lay awake in bed for an hour or two, or in this case of the last few days, six hours before I fall asleep. You can imagine how that interferes with life and school and being a functioning human being. Last night I read, and then tried to sleep, and then couldn't, and then read, and then tried to sleep, and then couldn't. Not until 6 o'clock in the morning. That doesn't work for me.
I ended up missing an appoint with my counselor in the morning and felt TERRIBLE about it but I could not even find reason to drag myself out of bed I was so exhausted. So when I did finally get around to waking up, I immediately told my mother that I haven't been able to sleep for a while, and it's getting worse, so she called and made me a doctor's appointment at my doctor's office on Chambers. I went to school first to check in with my counselor, and then skedaddled on down to make my appointment.
Because I'm eighteen now, they ended up having to create and put me on a separate account, which took forever and I was technically 20ish minutes late to my appointment just by sitting at the check-in counter. When they finally got all of my information entered in, she asked me to pay the co-pay, so I handed her my card. She came back, saying, "It looks like we're doing only cash today. So you can either pay on the way out after you're done with your appointment, or we can just bill it to you." THAT MAKES NO SENSE TO ME. Why can I pay when I'm leaving but not while I'm sitting there checking in? That kind of blew my mind. Whatever. Then I went to sit down and started reading Adverbs. When the nurse called me back, on the opposite side of the check in counter, so it was like doing a wide "U," she asked me what I was reading. "Adverbs," I said, "by Daniel Handler. Do you know who Lemony Snicket is? The guy who wrote the Series of Unfortunate Events?" She shook her head no. "Well," I said, "it's the same guy. Anyway, this book is about love. It's a love story. Each title of the chapter is a different adverb for the way you can love someone, or the way these people loved other people. It's a great book. You should read it." She seemed really interested, and she was REALLY NICE. I love it when I get nice nurses, because it makes the doctor visit so much better. Anyway, when she left the room she told me to feel better and get some sleep and I tapped the book and told her to get it if she could. Then the door clicked.
When the doctor came in (it was a MAN. I don't like man doctors), he had this kind of sluggish speech like he was trying very careful to be precise about everything that he was going to say. He asked me all the standard questions, Why are you here? What medicines are you taking? What have you done already to help your problem? I told him I wasn't falling asleep and that it was probably stress related because I'm very stressed about school. I said I lost my Ambien script (I call them scripts now, because that is what they call prescriptions out on the East coast, primarily in Jersey. It's odd) and then he told me things about helping sleep that I already knew. I told him that, and lied when he asked if I did drugs or drank, because occasionally, I do. Anyway, he went on about this list called Sleep Hygiene and was like, "Bed is a place for sleep. Not for watching television, or reading, but sleeping." He paused. "...And other things." MY DOCTOR, WHO IS A MAN, MADE A SEXUAL PASS AT ME. I find that wildly inappropriate but I also found it hilarious so I just smiled a lot and held my breath to keep from laughing. I thought the man was kind of an idiot, because he just kept telling me things I knew and told me about Ambien which I was already educated about, all in his sluggish speech. He ended up writing me a script for 10 Ambien pills that I have to fill tomorrow.
After my doctor appointment I went back to school to check in with some teachers. I grabbed food from PC Market and then went home, and then went hunting for Adverbs at Smith Family Books, but to no avail. I went to Barnes & Noble, too, with the same results. However, I got a copy of The Tales of Beetle and Bard, a hardback copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets from Smith's, and then The Wasteland and Other Poems by T.S. Elliot and Darkside Zodiac: In Love. So basically I spent too much money on books for myself and didn't find what I was looking for. I'm going to the other Smith's bookstore tomorrow and taking all of the books I will never read again to see if they will buy them. If they don't have another copy of Adverbs I don't know what I'm going to do, because I really want Bobby to read it, and I want to send it to him as a gift with my surprise, but I'm not really interested in lending out my copy just yet, lol. Amazon.com has one for $7.00 right now though, hardback, so I might order that and then send everything maybe!
Now it is 8:00 exactly and I am tired. I am going to watch Dead Like Me and read some and talk to Bobby when he is done reading his 500 line poem by Percy Shelly. By then I assume it will be an appropriate time to sleep, which I am going to do tonight I think. I'm very excited about sleep. I love sleep so much, and it makes me crabby that I am not getting any.