Off my journal record.
I am in a state of despair. People who can not decide what they want are really getting to me. Im sick of games. Im sick of it all. All I want is her, all I want is the feelings I have when I am with her. But she cant decide if she wants that, because her ex has a mindfuck on her.
SO I wait one week. So she can be away from us both. (like he is going to play by the rules...yea right)
Ive had my heart broken in the past, but not this badly. Its not even a hurt anymore, Im so numb I cant really feel it. It is almost like a haze. I did nothing but good things for her. Nothing but care and love, and treating her like a queen. What do I get in return. A week of wondering what if. And at the end of this weekk...what if...what if she says no to me, what if she says yes to me. A whole new string of questions arise. Dont get me wrong, I want to be with her. I want to be with her so very badly. But I also want to feel comfortable. With myself, and my relationships.
I truely believe that the phraze "Nice Guys Finish Last" was written by my previous existance on this rock we call earth.
Its only 2pm, and I need a beer....or 24. Hey Bartender...keep em coming.
SO I wait one week. So she can be away from us both. (like he is going to play by the rules...yea right)
Ive had my heart broken in the past, but not this badly. Its not even a hurt anymore, Im so numb I cant really feel it. It is almost like a haze. I did nothing but good things for her. Nothing but care and love, and treating her like a queen. What do I get in return. A week of wondering what if. And at the end of this weekk...what if...what if she says no to me, what if she says yes to me. A whole new string of questions arise. Dont get me wrong, I want to be with her. I want to be with her so very badly. But I also want to feel comfortable. With myself, and my relationships.
I truely believe that the phraze "Nice Guys Finish Last" was written by my previous existance on this rock we call earth.
Its only 2pm, and I need a beer....or 24. Hey Bartender...keep em coming.