#017 - My Black Plague List
#017 - My Black Plague List
Its Tuesday, I really hate Tuesdays. They are almost as bad as Mondays, but with more work. It’s like everyone wakes up about Tuesday at 10am around here, and thinks…”Oh Shit, I have to actually WORK while I’m here!” Then they proceed to pile workload upon workload on my desk. It wouldn’t be so bad spread out over 2 days, but getting it all shoved in the poop chute at once with no lube, tends to sting just a tad. So to all you Monday procrastinators, I hope that overnight Rhinos learn how to fly, and a flock of them circle your house and drop bombs!
Monday procrastinators are defiantly on my Black Plague List. What is the Black Plague list you ask? It’s simply a list of people who actually make me wish that the Black Plague would come back into circulation and take the express train to their front door. It isn’t limited to individual people, usually its corporations, or groups of people who just piss me off to no avail. The kind of assholes who you just look at and go…DAMN!!! The following is a taste of my Black Plague list, and the reason that those people were placed ON the Black Plague list…hopefully you don’t find your way on there!
>Bill Cower and the Pittsburgh Steelers- OK, Im a HUGE Browns fan…HUGE. The Steelers are OBVIOUSLY our biggest rivals, but when Bill Cower was up 28 points and Onside kicks the ball…THAT my friends lands him on the Black Plague List!
>Ann Arbor Michigan and The University Of Michigan (but not Lloyd Carr)- Yes…Go Bucks! So that is another OBVIOUS one, but the question would be, why not Lloyd Carr? I personally hope that he lives a long and prosperous life and Coaches Michigan Football for many MANY more years. Why? Because he CANT BEAT OHIO STATE! Hell Jim Tressel just bought a new automobile last week, it was a Lloyd Carr, because he figured since he owned a Lloyd Carr on the football field, he might as well own one in the off season!
> Sallie Mae Servicing (Student Loans)- If these fucktards get one thing right in their life they will be LUCKY! You call them, figure out a solution for a problem that THEY CAUSED, and they screw it up again! I mean really guys, how hard is it to accept money, and apply it to the loan. You would think it would be a fairly simple process, but these dumb asses make it into blindfolded 52 card pick up!
>Great Lakes Higher Education Servicing (Student Loans)- For the above mentioned reasons, and for taking 2 automatic payments out of my account in one month, sending me into a tailspin PANIC about how the hell I was going to pay my bills! I guess that means I send 2 times the Black Plague to you!
>Any and All Check Advance Places- You want to find the worst interest rate in town, try 402%! These places are springing up left and right, hell there are more check advance places in strip malls than there are Chinese Buffets (that’s saying something right there). I learned the lesson about them the HARD way! I would like to send a Strong strain of the Black Plague to them…make em suffer a little bit!
>Carrot Top- You may be the most annoying person in the world dude. I would like to take those oversized scissors and cut off your undersized penis! If the hair in your pants is anything like the hair on your annoying head, Ill be cutting a while to find it too!
>The New Kids On The Block- You tortured me through the 80’s, but I haven’t forgot about you fuckers! The only one I would let live is Danny…because he looked like a monkey and I always felt sorry for him cause only the ugly 6th graders liked him.
>Oil Companies (Exxon, Englefield etc)- Any company that turns a 13 BILLION dollar profit, and still gouges my ass, can die slower than the check cashing places. 13 billion in PROFIT!!! Its amazing to me how Gas can shoot up 30 cents in a 2 hour time span, but it takes 3 weeks for the price to get where it was before.
That was just a short list of the people who are on the Black Plague list. Im sure it wont be the last time I post this list. You will probably see it a few times on my quest to 1000 posts. Well, as always, I shall leave you with my QUESTION OF THE DAY!
What ever happened to those “Little People” toys I had when I was a kid. Sure they didn’t have any legs or arms and big heads, but they rocked! I spent countless hours playing with those things! I’m sure some dumb ass parent left their 1 year old alone in a room while she was off smoking crack and her baby choked on it. I’m putting that lady on my Black Plague list while I’m at it!
Its Tuesday, I really hate Tuesdays. They are almost as bad as Mondays, but with more work. It’s like everyone wakes up about Tuesday at 10am around here, and thinks…”Oh Shit, I have to actually WORK while I’m here!” Then they proceed to pile workload upon workload on my desk. It wouldn’t be so bad spread out over 2 days, but getting it all shoved in the poop chute at once with no lube, tends to sting just a tad. So to all you Monday procrastinators, I hope that overnight Rhinos learn how to fly, and a flock of them circle your house and drop bombs!
Monday procrastinators are defiantly on my Black Plague List. What is the Black Plague list you ask? It’s simply a list of people who actually make me wish that the Black Plague would come back into circulation and take the express train to their front door. It isn’t limited to individual people, usually its corporations, or groups of people who just piss me off to no avail. The kind of assholes who you just look at and go…DAMN!!! The following is a taste of my Black Plague list, and the reason that those people were placed ON the Black Plague list…hopefully you don’t find your way on there!
>Bill Cower and the Pittsburgh Steelers- OK, Im a HUGE Browns fan…HUGE. The Steelers are OBVIOUSLY our biggest rivals, but when Bill Cower was up 28 points and Onside kicks the ball…THAT my friends lands him on the Black Plague List!
>Ann Arbor Michigan and The University Of Michigan (but not Lloyd Carr)- Yes…Go Bucks! So that is another OBVIOUS one, but the question would be, why not Lloyd Carr? I personally hope that he lives a long and prosperous life and Coaches Michigan Football for many MANY more years. Why? Because he CANT BEAT OHIO STATE! Hell Jim Tressel just bought a new automobile last week, it was a Lloyd Carr, because he figured since he owned a Lloyd Carr on the football field, he might as well own one in the off season!
> Sallie Mae Servicing (Student Loans)- If these fucktards get one thing right in their life they will be LUCKY! You call them, figure out a solution for a problem that THEY CAUSED, and they screw it up again! I mean really guys, how hard is it to accept money, and apply it to the loan. You would think it would be a fairly simple process, but these dumb asses make it into blindfolded 52 card pick up!
>Great Lakes Higher Education Servicing (Student Loans)- For the above mentioned reasons, and for taking 2 automatic payments out of my account in one month, sending me into a tailspin PANIC about how the hell I was going to pay my bills! I guess that means I send 2 times the Black Plague to you!
>Any and All Check Advance Places- You want to find the worst interest rate in town, try 402%! These places are springing up left and right, hell there are more check advance places in strip malls than there are Chinese Buffets (that’s saying something right there). I learned the lesson about them the HARD way! I would like to send a Strong strain of the Black Plague to them…make em suffer a little bit!
>Carrot Top- You may be the most annoying person in the world dude. I would like to take those oversized scissors and cut off your undersized penis! If the hair in your pants is anything like the hair on your annoying head, Ill be cutting a while to find it too!
>The New Kids On The Block- You tortured me through the 80’s, but I haven’t forgot about you fuckers! The only one I would let live is Danny…because he looked like a monkey and I always felt sorry for him cause only the ugly 6th graders liked him.
>Oil Companies (Exxon, Englefield etc)- Any company that turns a 13 BILLION dollar profit, and still gouges my ass, can die slower than the check cashing places. 13 billion in PROFIT!!! Its amazing to me how Gas can shoot up 30 cents in a 2 hour time span, but it takes 3 weeks for the price to get where it was before.
That was just a short list of the people who are on the Black Plague list. Im sure it wont be the last time I post this list. You will probably see it a few times on my quest to 1000 posts. Well, as always, I shall leave you with my QUESTION OF THE DAY!
What ever happened to those “Little People” toys I had when I was a kid. Sure they didn’t have any legs or arms and big heads, but they rocked! I spent countless hours playing with those things! I’m sure some dumb ass parent left their 1 year old alone in a room while she was off smoking crack and her baby choked on it. I’m putting that lady on my Black Plague list while I’m at it!