#012 - A Mile High and 3 Sheets to the Wind
#012 - A Mile High and 3 Sheets to the Wind
I was never good at math. In fact I pretty much sucked at math. Math and I are not even close to being on speaking terms. The word “long” in “long division” stands for the amount of time it will take me to get the correct answer. If a train leaves “X at 3pm and another train leaves Y on the same track at 9pm each traveling at 55 MPH with a north by northwest wind of who gives a fuck! But just last night I ran across another math equation…one that actually made complete and total sense to me…
Altitude + Beer = REALLY DUCKING FRUNK!
Man, I was HAMMERED last night. HAMMERED. I got off work at 5, went to Chili’s got a dozed 50 cent wings, a 3 dollar Queso and Chips and 2, 2 dollar 24 oz Drafts. The night was off to a good start! SO I swing by the 7 God Damned 11 (I’ve always called it that) and get a 12 pack of Keystone Light in Cans.
-Sidebar: They must realize that you get drunk quicker in Denver, because 8 dollars for a 12 pack of Keystone light in CANS is highway robbery! You can get a 30 pack of Keystones at home for 10.99!! I mean come on kids, that’s EXPENSIVE!-
So I go back up to my room and chat on Yahoo for a while. Drink the 12 pack, and decide…ya know what….I think I’m going to go out on the town. So I throw on some clothes and head out of my room. I go to my favorite watering hole in Denver Colorado…Coyote Ugly. While sipping on a cold beer, I decide to go over and take “next” on the beer pong table (god I love that game). SO numerious beers and a few new Colorado friends later I realize I’m about 18 beers total into a high altitude drunk, so I stumble out and go to a local Gentlemen’s Club.
I have a crisp 20 dollar bill so I decide to get it in 1’s (naturally), so I go in, sit down. 3 stages of dancers. OK, it musta been “A Cup Night”, because I may not be a boob guy per say. But I want more than 2 speed bumps. SO I spent 10 of those crisp 1 dollar bills and go along back to the hotel. This was about 1am Denver time (3am Ohio Time) I go to bed. I wake up…its 7:30 am Denver time. I forgot to set my alarm! *DOH* so I had to rush out to get to work here by 8, and I think I was still a little drunk from the night before, hell, I think I’m still a little drunk RIGHT NOW!
So that was my drunken night in Denver. I’m gonna be a good fat kid tonight and stay sober. Though at 7:10pm Ohio Time (5:10pm Denver time) I’m gonna be out like a scout taking a NAPPY POO on my bed!
Well, I guess I am out of stuff to say so it is time for the QUESTION OF THE DAY! ! !
Name 3 things that cant be fixed using duct tape! You cant can ya! Because Duct tape is the shizzle shitty!
I was never good at math. In fact I pretty much sucked at math. Math and I are not even close to being on speaking terms. The word “long” in “long division” stands for the amount of time it will take me to get the correct answer. If a train leaves “X at 3pm and another train leaves Y on the same track at 9pm each traveling at 55 MPH with a north by northwest wind of who gives a fuck! But just last night I ran across another math equation…one that actually made complete and total sense to me…
Altitude + Beer = REALLY DUCKING FRUNK!
Man, I was HAMMERED last night. HAMMERED. I got off work at 5, went to Chili’s got a dozed 50 cent wings, a 3 dollar Queso and Chips and 2, 2 dollar 24 oz Drafts. The night was off to a good start! SO I swing by the 7 God Damned 11 (I’ve always called it that) and get a 12 pack of Keystone Light in Cans.
-Sidebar: They must realize that you get drunk quicker in Denver, because 8 dollars for a 12 pack of Keystone light in CANS is highway robbery! You can get a 30 pack of Keystones at home for 10.99!! I mean come on kids, that’s EXPENSIVE!-
So I go back up to my room and chat on Yahoo for a while. Drink the 12 pack, and decide…ya know what….I think I’m going to go out on the town. So I throw on some clothes and head out of my room. I go to my favorite watering hole in Denver Colorado…Coyote Ugly. While sipping on a cold beer, I decide to go over and take “next” on the beer pong table (god I love that game). SO numerious beers and a few new Colorado friends later I realize I’m about 18 beers total into a high altitude drunk, so I stumble out and go to a local Gentlemen’s Club.
I have a crisp 20 dollar bill so I decide to get it in 1’s (naturally), so I go in, sit down. 3 stages of dancers. OK, it musta been “A Cup Night”, because I may not be a boob guy per say. But I want more than 2 speed bumps. SO I spent 10 of those crisp 1 dollar bills and go along back to the hotel. This was about 1am Denver time (3am Ohio Time) I go to bed. I wake up…its 7:30 am Denver time. I forgot to set my alarm! *DOH* so I had to rush out to get to work here by 8, and I think I was still a little drunk from the night before, hell, I think I’m still a little drunk RIGHT NOW!
So that was my drunken night in Denver. I’m gonna be a good fat kid tonight and stay sober. Though at 7:10pm Ohio Time (5:10pm Denver time) I’m gonna be out like a scout taking a NAPPY POO on my bed!
Well, I guess I am out of stuff to say so it is time for the QUESTION OF THE DAY! ! !
Name 3 things that cant be fixed using duct tape! You cant can ya! Because Duct tape is the shizzle shitty!