#010 - Happy Flippin Birthday to ME!
#010 - Happy Flippin Birthday to ME!
So in the tradition of camping trips that I have taken in the past 3 years over Memorial Day weekend…it looks like its going to rain! I’m leaving here (which is work, I’m really working hard as you can tell) tomorrow at 1pm, so I don’t know if Ill be able to sneak a blog in or not. Then I come back Sunday, go to my cousins graduation party, and start packing for a Monday 5:15 flight to Denver Colorado, where I will be working until Friday. So I have a pretty long week ahead of me. It will still be more relaxing than Ohio, at least it will be a change of scenery, even though I’m leaving behind some things that I know I will miss.
I made the executive decision this morning to go to Chipotle for lunch. Its my birthday for Christ’s sake! I have been craving Chipotle for WEEKS! I guess I finally caved in to the craving. Chicken Burrito, Rice, black beans, Mild, corn cheese and sour cream/guacamole (I haven’t decided yet) , 2 sides of Mild and a bag of ships to GO PLEASE! It’s a damn shame though, that I can’t really be flexible and actually give those girls the order in Spanish, because ½ the time when you talk to them I don’t think they know what your saying. If Bush wants to start weeding out illegal immigrants, the 1st place he better look is Chipotle! I’ve never been to a Chipotle where there wasn’t at least 1 true Mexican refugee…and I doubt that I never will.
Well, since Friday is my usual “Story time about Mike” day, and I cant plug my laptop into a TREE, I better get it out of the way TODAY. This story takes place the night that Jessica and I pick up Mike from the airport. He has just returned form SOMEWHERE where we had not seen him in over a year. So we are both VERY excited to see him, but also, very evil and vindictive! You see Jessica and I came up with a plan... we decided we were going to play a little joke on our friend Mike…actually…a BIG JOKE.
A little background for all of you who do not know my inner circle of friends very well. Jessica is like my sister, I love her to death! I would jump in front of a bus to save her life, we share a deep and special bond, just not a romantic one. Mike knows this full well, and would never expect to come home to what he did…..
We meet Mike, exchange hugs, I make fun of him for being…well…for being MIKE, and we get his luggage and go on to my car. I realize Mike is not acting, speaking or talking too well, so I ask him if he was drunk. He informs me he has been drinking since NOON, so I assume that he is pretty toasty. After we pull out of the Airport parking garage and start to get on the highway home (a 45 minute drive give or take) Jessica leans her head between Mike and I, rests her head on my shoulder, and whispers loud enough so Mike can hear her talk to me….
Jess: “I think we should tell him now…”
Me: Now??
Mike: What?? What are you two talking about?
Me: Well uhhh…its just Jess and I…
Mike: It’s about time you 2 hooked up! I’m glad for you!
Jess: It’s more than that….
Me: A LOT more
Mike: Did you 2 get married…
Jess: Not yet…
Mike: What then!?
Me: Well we picked up a designated driver!
Mike: What are you talking about man!?
Jess: Ill only be the DD for 9 months there Scoter!
Mike: WHAT!?!?!?!?!
This is the point in the conversation where Mike starts to “get it”. Also at this point fun drunk Mike turns into stone sober what the HELL Mike.
Mike: You mean…
Me: Yes Mike, Jessica and I are having a baby together… (I am SO going to hell for this)
Mike: (Obviously confused…obviously happy, but obviously shocked) But…how…when…why…you…and…yea…
Me: Yes Mike…I’m going to name him Maximus Michael. Don’t you think that’s awesome?
Mike: HAHAH Ohh I get it your pulling my leg...no one would name their son Maximus…
Me: (in a sad and hurt voice that I deserve an academy award for) But...I thought that you would like his name, especially his middle name…after you buddy…we both thought that it was the right thing…I mean.. I guess I can (I’m really tugging at his heart strings at this point) I don’t know Mike. I thought you would be happy..
Mike: (OBVIOUSLY STUNNED that he hurt my feelings) I’m sorry man…Ill get used to it, I like it, it’s a good name…man don’t be mad at me…don’t be mad..
Me: I wont be mad at you if your not mad at me buddy….
Mike: Mad at you about what??
Me: Mad at me for punking your ass OUT and making you believe that Jessica and I were having a baby!!
Mike: You mean your NOT! Jesus Christ GooB, I lost my BUZZ over this shit!
Jess & Me: *Insert Hysterical Laughter HERE*
Sometimes folks, it is just too damn easy! I will try to blog some tomorrow before I leave, I can not make any promises! But I can promise you one thing!
A QUESTION OF THE DAY!!!!
If Chuck Norris had to fight an evil clone of himself…who would win? Or would the world just implode???
So in the tradition of camping trips that I have taken in the past 3 years over Memorial Day weekend…it looks like its going to rain! I’m leaving here (which is work, I’m really working hard as you can tell) tomorrow at 1pm, so I don’t know if Ill be able to sneak a blog in or not. Then I come back Sunday, go to my cousins graduation party, and start packing for a Monday 5:15 flight to Denver Colorado, where I will be working until Friday. So I have a pretty long week ahead of me. It will still be more relaxing than Ohio, at least it will be a change of scenery, even though I’m leaving behind some things that I know I will miss.
I made the executive decision this morning to go to Chipotle for lunch. Its my birthday for Christ’s sake! I have been craving Chipotle for WEEKS! I guess I finally caved in to the craving. Chicken Burrito, Rice, black beans, Mild, corn cheese and sour cream/guacamole (I haven’t decided yet) , 2 sides of Mild and a bag of ships to GO PLEASE! It’s a damn shame though, that I can’t really be flexible and actually give those girls the order in Spanish, because ½ the time when you talk to them I don’t think they know what your saying. If Bush wants to start weeding out illegal immigrants, the 1st place he better look is Chipotle! I’ve never been to a Chipotle where there wasn’t at least 1 true Mexican refugee…and I doubt that I never will.
Well, since Friday is my usual “Story time about Mike” day, and I cant plug my laptop into a TREE, I better get it out of the way TODAY. This story takes place the night that Jessica and I pick up Mike from the airport. He has just returned form SOMEWHERE where we had not seen him in over a year. So we are both VERY excited to see him, but also, very evil and vindictive! You see Jessica and I came up with a plan... we decided we were going to play a little joke on our friend Mike…actually…a BIG JOKE.
A little background for all of you who do not know my inner circle of friends very well. Jessica is like my sister, I love her to death! I would jump in front of a bus to save her life, we share a deep and special bond, just not a romantic one. Mike knows this full well, and would never expect to come home to what he did…..
We meet Mike, exchange hugs, I make fun of him for being…well…for being MIKE, and we get his luggage and go on to my car. I realize Mike is not acting, speaking or talking too well, so I ask him if he was drunk. He informs me he has been drinking since NOON, so I assume that he is pretty toasty. After we pull out of the Airport parking garage and start to get on the highway home (a 45 minute drive give or take) Jessica leans her head between Mike and I, rests her head on my shoulder, and whispers loud enough so Mike can hear her talk to me….
Jess: “I think we should tell him now…”
Me: Now??
Mike: What?? What are you two talking about?
Me: Well uhhh…its just Jess and I…
Mike: It’s about time you 2 hooked up! I’m glad for you!
Jess: It’s more than that….
Me: A LOT more
Mike: Did you 2 get married…
Jess: Not yet…
Mike: What then!?
Me: Well we picked up a designated driver!
Mike: What are you talking about man!?
Jess: Ill only be the DD for 9 months there Scoter!
Mike: WHAT!?!?!?!?!
This is the point in the conversation where Mike starts to “get it”. Also at this point fun drunk Mike turns into stone sober what the HELL Mike.
Mike: You mean…
Me: Yes Mike, Jessica and I are having a baby together… (I am SO going to hell for this)
Mike: (Obviously confused…obviously happy, but obviously shocked) But…how…when…why…you…and…yea…
Me: Yes Mike…I’m going to name him Maximus Michael. Don’t you think that’s awesome?
Mike: HAHAH Ohh I get it your pulling my leg...no one would name their son Maximus…
Me: (in a sad and hurt voice that I deserve an academy award for) But...I thought that you would like his name, especially his middle name…after you buddy…we both thought that it was the right thing…I mean.. I guess I can (I’m really tugging at his heart strings at this point) I don’t know Mike. I thought you would be happy..
Mike: (OBVIOUSLY STUNNED that he hurt my feelings) I’m sorry man…Ill get used to it, I like it, it’s a good name…man don’t be mad at me…don’t be mad..
Me: I wont be mad at you if your not mad at me buddy….
Mike: Mad at you about what??
Me: Mad at me for punking your ass OUT and making you believe that Jessica and I were having a baby!!
Mike: You mean your NOT! Jesus Christ GooB, I lost my BUZZ over this shit!
Jess & Me: *Insert Hysterical Laughter HERE*
Sometimes folks, it is just too damn easy! I will try to blog some tomorrow before I leave, I can not make any promises! But I can promise you one thing!
A QUESTION OF THE DAY!!!!
If Chuck Norris had to fight an evil clone of himself…who would win? Or would the world just implode???