A New Dawn 21
Part: 21/?
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Mentions of previous torture and rape
Genre: Angst, AU
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen, Tosh, Gwen
Summary: AU. The Torchwood team discover the truth about what happened on the Valiant and search for Jack. A dark fic.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
AN: Another chapter, already! It's a miracle. Thanks to everyone who commented on the last chapter. See how inspired I get by comments! The Easter holiday helped too, as I had extra free time.
Previous chapter here: http://ohinyan.livejournal.com/27295.html
Chapter 21
Ianto made breakfast for himself, Jack and Owen. Mark had gone home, so it was just the three of them in the Hub. As they ate, they talked.
Owen explained to Jack how they had had no choice, other than to give him the heroin. “I'm sorry the methadone didn't work, Jack,” he apologised. “I really hoped that it would help.” That was the understatement of the century.
Jack looked bleak. “So, what do you suggest I do, then?” he demanded. “You know exactly how withdrawal affects me, now.” He stopped short, as a horrible thought struck him. “You don't want me to go cold turkey, do you!” he queried nervously. “I only suggested that before, so I'd be able to convince you I was off it, and have a better chance to get away.”
Having witnessed what denying Jack the drug would do to him, Owen was quick to reassure him. “Of course not! No one could kick heroin, if it had that sort of a hold. We all understand now why you were so determined to get out of the Hub and find some.” He didn't mention what Tosh had told him about the circumstances of Jack's addiction. That would be a minefield. He wanted to have a calm conversation with Jack about the way forwards first, with no unnecessary complications. After that he would find a good time to tell Jack what they knew.
Owen sighed, “I'm afraid that there's going to be no quick fix for this. We'll have to do this long term. I suggest reducing your dose from its current level, very slowly, over a period of several years.”
Jack looked shocked at that. He had never considered that it could take that long to kick it.
“And it should be done alongside therapy, as I originally suggested,” Owen continued. Seeing Jack's mutinous look, he elaborated. “It was clear the other day, when you had the methadone, that the withdrawal causes you to relive awful memories.”
“Don't you think I know that,” snapped Jack.
“Of course,” Owen agreed calmly. “But my point is, that as long as those memories can torment you, to such an extent, you will not be able to fight the withdrawal. It will always overwhelm you.”
“I can't just switch them off,” Jack hissed. “You both have a very good idea of why my memories are so traumatic.”
“Indeed we do,” Owen agreed, “and that is why I think you need to see a therapist. Anyone, who has lived through what you did, would have serious PTSD. That needs to be treated, so that you can deal with the memories.”
Jack had found it incredibly hard, knowing that the Torchwood team had witnessed his shame and humiliation at the hands of the Master, not to mention the lawyers and others involved in getting him pardoned. The last thing he wanted, was more people being privy to the details. “I can hardly go around telling therapists that I'm immortal, and that I was tortured and raped for nine months by a psychotic alien, who enslaved the Earth, can I?” he asked sarcastically.
“Why not?” asked Ianto.
Jack looked at him askance.
“You wouldn't see just any therapist,” Ianto continued. “After the battle of Canary Wharf, all the survivors were offered therapy. The therapist was one that Torchwood One used on many occasions. She is well aware of alien life, and alien activity on Earth. The circumstances surrounding the Valiant wouldn't phase her.”
“If you think that therapy is such a great thing, why didn't you have any after Canary Wharf?” asked Jack truculently.
Ianto looked ashamed. “I was too focused on hiding Lisa, and looking after her, to be distracted with that,” he admitted. “But I know that many of the others thought that she helped them.”
“I've looked into her credentials and experience,” Owen put in. “She has had excellent results, in even the most serious cases of PTSD, and there is nothing that you couldn't say to her.”
“Do you really think that doing this, would allow me to gradually give up the heroin?” asked Jack, wavering.
“I think it's the best chance.”
Jack thought about it for several minutes, while Ianto and Owen watched him quietly. They were happy to give Jack as much time as he wanted. Finally, he spoke. “I would only have to talk to this one person?”
Owen nodded.
Jack fell silent again, as he gathered his thoughts. So, just one more person seeing everything. And, after the many that already knew, what was one more? The potential benefits outweighed that. But, could he open himself up to a therapist? He had spent years keeping his agony to himself, keeping his defenses up. Could he bear to change? If he wanted to get off the heroin, did he have any choice?
“OK,” he heard himself saying. “I'll give it a chance. If you promise to provide the heroin that I need.”
* * * * *
After Jack had gone back to his room, Tosh and Gwen arrived back. Owen was pleased about their timing, as he wanted to have this meeting without Jack present.
The first words out of Tosh's mouth were, “How's Jack? Was he OK when he came round after the heroin?”
After being assured that Jack was back to his usual, albeit addicted, self, the two girls headed up to the boardroom, while Ianto fetched everyone coffee.
The four of them sat in the boardroom together. As the girls looked to Owen expectantly, Ianto realised that there was something going on, that he wasn't privy to. “What's going on?” he demanded.
“Tosh and Gwen discovered some very disturbing information from Peterson, last night,” Owen explained. “It seems that we've been making incorrect assumptions about Jack's addiction to heroin.”
“You'll never believe it, Ianto,” interjected Gwen. “Jack didn't start taking heroin voluntarily, after he escaped. They addicted him deliberately in the UNIT prison.”
To say Ianto was stunned, was an understatement. Gwen was right, he couldn't actually believe it. “You must have got it wrong,” he argued, “that wouldn't make any sense.”
“They wanted him to tell them everything he knew about Torchwood,” Tosh explained, sadly. “Codes, security information, detailed information on the items in the archives. He wouldn't talk, so they addicted him to heroin, and then withdrew it, over and over again.” Wiping tears from her eyes, she continued. “They are responsible for getting him to the state we saw three days ago. And needless to say it worked, he told them everything. And ...”
Tosh was cut off, as Ianto exploded. “Goddam those fucking UNIT bastards! I'll kill the lot of them, after I dose them up with the most agonising drug that ever came through the rift.”
The others felt exactly the same way.
“I think we already did,” Owen said, patting Ianto on the shoulder. “Kill them, I mean. Three of them at least.”
“After everything he did,” Ianto cried. “I asked him, you know, if he was the one who built the EMP device. He was. He saved us, and the whole of humanity, and that was his reward! They didn't even give him a fair trial.”
Owen seized on that. “What do you mean? We all gave written evidence for the trial. We were mistaken, but we gave a truthful account of the situation as we knew it. Presumably other witnesses did the same. How was it not fair?”
“He wasn't at it, that's how.”
“Jesus,” Owen exclaimed. “So he never got a chance to defend himself?”
“No. And no chance to tell the court about the EMP device, and that he was working against the Master all along.”
“UNIT justice doesn't include proper trials,” Tosh informed them. “I never got one. I did not expect that Jack would get one either. And before you start attacking me for not saying that before, think what your reaction would have been. You wanted him locked up, and you wouldn't have given a toss if he got a fair trial or not back then.”
As the enormity of what they had all allowed to happen sank in, their shame and guilt escalated yet again.
Owen pulled himself together first. “Well, what we need to do now, is work out how to proceed. We need to get the information about UNIT to the Queen, and have those UNIT bastards, sorry UNIT personnel, involved brought to justice. Until we do that, it won't be safe for Jack to leave the Hub. UNIT might have given up, but we can't assume that they won't try to grab Jack again.”
“The Queen won't be pleased to discover that UNIT was torturing prisoners at all, never mind a Torchwood staff member. Particularly when they were doing it to illegally gain information about the institute of which she is head,” Tosh pointed out.
“Yes,” agreed Gwen. “Surely that would be treason?”
“Do we have any concrete evidence?” asked Ianto.
“We'll have to ask Jack for a written statement, naming names and specifying what they actually did,” stated Owen.
“And Peterson said that he would be willing to give evidence, so that would back Jack's account up,” Tosh added.
“We should also inform her about the EMP device,” Ianto put in. “It's time that what Jack did to defeat the Master was acknowledged.” He hesitated, then ran his hands through his hair in disgust. “But we can't even prove that Jack built the EMP device. It's just his word.”
“Do you doubt him?” asked Owen.
“No, of course not!” Ianto exclaimed. “But it's not us that need to be convinced.”
“Jack may well not want to give a statement about UNIT,” Gwen pointed out. “He's kept quiet about this so far. He obviously didn't want us to know about it.”
“Maybe he's afraid of what would happen, if it was known that he gave away Torchwood secrets?” suggested Ianto.
“He's got nothing to fear on that score,” stated Owen. “No one could possibly blame him for talking. And, if they try, I'll come down on them like a ton of bricks.”
“He also might not want to put into the public domain, the fact that, in the UNIT prison, he was effectively forced to prostitute himself in return for heroin,” Gwen added.
“What?” demanded Ianto, incredulously, his voice low and dangerous. As he spoke, there was a crash from outside the room.
“Oh God,” murmured Gwen, as she caught a glimpse of Jack fleeing down the corridor.
AN2: Sorry, couldn't resist a teensy cliffhanger!
Next chapter here: http://ohinyan.livejournal.com/27649.html
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Mentions of previous torture and rape
Genre: Angst, AU
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen, Tosh, Gwen
Summary: AU. The Torchwood team discover the truth about what happened on the Valiant and search for Jack. A dark fic.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
AN: Another chapter, already! It's a miracle. Thanks to everyone who commented on the last chapter. See how inspired I get by comments! The Easter holiday helped too, as I had extra free time.
Previous chapter here: http://ohinyan.livejournal.com/27295.html
Chapter 21
Ianto made breakfast for himself, Jack and Owen. Mark had gone home, so it was just the three of them in the Hub. As they ate, they talked.
Owen explained to Jack how they had had no choice, other than to give him the heroin. “I'm sorry the methadone didn't work, Jack,” he apologised. “I really hoped that it would help.” That was the understatement of the century.
Jack looked bleak. “So, what do you suggest I do, then?” he demanded. “You know exactly how withdrawal affects me, now.” He stopped short, as a horrible thought struck him. “You don't want me to go cold turkey, do you!” he queried nervously. “I only suggested that before, so I'd be able to convince you I was off it, and have a better chance to get away.”
Having witnessed what denying Jack the drug would do to him, Owen was quick to reassure him. “Of course not! No one could kick heroin, if it had that sort of a hold. We all understand now why you were so determined to get out of the Hub and find some.” He didn't mention what Tosh had told him about the circumstances of Jack's addiction. That would be a minefield. He wanted to have a calm conversation with Jack about the way forwards first, with no unnecessary complications. After that he would find a good time to tell Jack what they knew.
Owen sighed, “I'm afraid that there's going to be no quick fix for this. We'll have to do this long term. I suggest reducing your dose from its current level, very slowly, over a period of several years.”
Jack looked shocked at that. He had never considered that it could take that long to kick it.
“And it should be done alongside therapy, as I originally suggested,” Owen continued. Seeing Jack's mutinous look, he elaborated. “It was clear the other day, when you had the methadone, that the withdrawal causes you to relive awful memories.”
“Don't you think I know that,” snapped Jack.
“Of course,” Owen agreed calmly. “But my point is, that as long as those memories can torment you, to such an extent, you will not be able to fight the withdrawal. It will always overwhelm you.”
“I can't just switch them off,” Jack hissed. “You both have a very good idea of why my memories are so traumatic.”
“Indeed we do,” Owen agreed, “and that is why I think you need to see a therapist. Anyone, who has lived through what you did, would have serious PTSD. That needs to be treated, so that you can deal with the memories.”
Jack had found it incredibly hard, knowing that the Torchwood team had witnessed his shame and humiliation at the hands of the Master, not to mention the lawyers and others involved in getting him pardoned. The last thing he wanted, was more people being privy to the details. “I can hardly go around telling therapists that I'm immortal, and that I was tortured and raped for nine months by a psychotic alien, who enslaved the Earth, can I?” he asked sarcastically.
“Why not?” asked Ianto.
Jack looked at him askance.
“You wouldn't see just any therapist,” Ianto continued. “After the battle of Canary Wharf, all the survivors were offered therapy. The therapist was one that Torchwood One used on many occasions. She is well aware of alien life, and alien activity on Earth. The circumstances surrounding the Valiant wouldn't phase her.”
“If you think that therapy is such a great thing, why didn't you have any after Canary Wharf?” asked Jack truculently.
Ianto looked ashamed. “I was too focused on hiding Lisa, and looking after her, to be distracted with that,” he admitted. “But I know that many of the others thought that she helped them.”
“I've looked into her credentials and experience,” Owen put in. “She has had excellent results, in even the most serious cases of PTSD, and there is nothing that you couldn't say to her.”
“Do you really think that doing this, would allow me to gradually give up the heroin?” asked Jack, wavering.
“I think it's the best chance.”
Jack thought about it for several minutes, while Ianto and Owen watched him quietly. They were happy to give Jack as much time as he wanted. Finally, he spoke. “I would only have to talk to this one person?”
Owen nodded.
Jack fell silent again, as he gathered his thoughts. So, just one more person seeing everything. And, after the many that already knew, what was one more? The potential benefits outweighed that. But, could he open himself up to a therapist? He had spent years keeping his agony to himself, keeping his defenses up. Could he bear to change? If he wanted to get off the heroin, did he have any choice?
“OK,” he heard himself saying. “I'll give it a chance. If you promise to provide the heroin that I need.”
* * * * *
After Jack had gone back to his room, Tosh and Gwen arrived back. Owen was pleased about their timing, as he wanted to have this meeting without Jack present.
The first words out of Tosh's mouth were, “How's Jack? Was he OK when he came round after the heroin?”
After being assured that Jack was back to his usual, albeit addicted, self, the two girls headed up to the boardroom, while Ianto fetched everyone coffee.
The four of them sat in the boardroom together. As the girls looked to Owen expectantly, Ianto realised that there was something going on, that he wasn't privy to. “What's going on?” he demanded.
“Tosh and Gwen discovered some very disturbing information from Peterson, last night,” Owen explained. “It seems that we've been making incorrect assumptions about Jack's addiction to heroin.”
“You'll never believe it, Ianto,” interjected Gwen. “Jack didn't start taking heroin voluntarily, after he escaped. They addicted him deliberately in the UNIT prison.”
To say Ianto was stunned, was an understatement. Gwen was right, he couldn't actually believe it. “You must have got it wrong,” he argued, “that wouldn't make any sense.”
“They wanted him to tell them everything he knew about Torchwood,” Tosh explained, sadly. “Codes, security information, detailed information on the items in the archives. He wouldn't talk, so they addicted him to heroin, and then withdrew it, over and over again.” Wiping tears from her eyes, she continued. “They are responsible for getting him to the state we saw three days ago. And needless to say it worked, he told them everything. And ...”
Tosh was cut off, as Ianto exploded. “Goddam those fucking UNIT bastards! I'll kill the lot of them, after I dose them up with the most agonising drug that ever came through the rift.”
The others felt exactly the same way.
“I think we already did,” Owen said, patting Ianto on the shoulder. “Kill them, I mean. Three of them at least.”
“After everything he did,” Ianto cried. “I asked him, you know, if he was the one who built the EMP device. He was. He saved us, and the whole of humanity, and that was his reward! They didn't even give him a fair trial.”
Owen seized on that. “What do you mean? We all gave written evidence for the trial. We were mistaken, but we gave a truthful account of the situation as we knew it. Presumably other witnesses did the same. How was it not fair?”
“He wasn't at it, that's how.”
“Jesus,” Owen exclaimed. “So he never got a chance to defend himself?”
“No. And no chance to tell the court about the EMP device, and that he was working against the Master all along.”
“UNIT justice doesn't include proper trials,” Tosh informed them. “I never got one. I did not expect that Jack would get one either. And before you start attacking me for not saying that before, think what your reaction would have been. You wanted him locked up, and you wouldn't have given a toss if he got a fair trial or not back then.”
As the enormity of what they had all allowed to happen sank in, their shame and guilt escalated yet again.
Owen pulled himself together first. “Well, what we need to do now, is work out how to proceed. We need to get the information about UNIT to the Queen, and have those UNIT bastards, sorry UNIT personnel, involved brought to justice. Until we do that, it won't be safe for Jack to leave the Hub. UNIT might have given up, but we can't assume that they won't try to grab Jack again.”
“The Queen won't be pleased to discover that UNIT was torturing prisoners at all, never mind a Torchwood staff member. Particularly when they were doing it to illegally gain information about the institute of which she is head,” Tosh pointed out.
“Yes,” agreed Gwen. “Surely that would be treason?”
“Do we have any concrete evidence?” asked Ianto.
“We'll have to ask Jack for a written statement, naming names and specifying what they actually did,” stated Owen.
“And Peterson said that he would be willing to give evidence, so that would back Jack's account up,” Tosh added.
“We should also inform her about the EMP device,” Ianto put in. “It's time that what Jack did to defeat the Master was acknowledged.” He hesitated, then ran his hands through his hair in disgust. “But we can't even prove that Jack built the EMP device. It's just his word.”
“Do you doubt him?” asked Owen.
“No, of course not!” Ianto exclaimed. “But it's not us that need to be convinced.”
“Jack may well not want to give a statement about UNIT,” Gwen pointed out. “He's kept quiet about this so far. He obviously didn't want us to know about it.”
“Maybe he's afraid of what would happen, if it was known that he gave away Torchwood secrets?” suggested Ianto.
“He's got nothing to fear on that score,” stated Owen. “No one could possibly blame him for talking. And, if they try, I'll come down on them like a ton of bricks.”
“He also might not want to put into the public domain, the fact that, in the UNIT prison, he was effectively forced to prostitute himself in return for heroin,” Gwen added.
“What?” demanded Ianto, incredulously, his voice low and dangerous. As he spoke, there was a crash from outside the room.
“Oh God,” murmured Gwen, as she caught a glimpse of Jack fleeing down the corridor.
AN2: Sorry, couldn't resist a teensy cliffhanger!
Next chapter here: http://ohinyan.livejournal.com/27649.html