(no subject)
I have a lot of emotions right now that make no sense at all. But I guess what else is new... I need to get myself a new (real) journal. That is very important.
Went camping for spring break these past few days. Matt and I went down to Charleston with Fox and Ludo. It should have been really fun but I was doing my "I'm pretending not to exist" thing the whole time. I start to feel like I contribute nothing to the group (and I don't) so I just stop trying. I just wait for it to be over and don't say a word. It's really sad. I've realized that I suffer from the most disabling amount of low self esteem. I almost can't function because I doubt and despise myself so much. And I don't know what to do about it.
Went camping for spring break these past few days. Matt and I went down to Charleston with Fox and Ludo. It should have been really fun but I was doing my "I'm pretending not to exist" thing the whole time. I start to feel like I contribute nothing to the group (and I don't) so I just stop trying. I just wait for it to be over and don't say a word. It's really sad. I've realized that I suffer from the most disabling amount of low self esteem. I almost can't function because I doubt and despise myself so much. And I don't know what to do about it.