Birthday post! (All photo credits to J. Shuman)
She's only 18
Don't like the Rolling Stones
She took a short cut
To being fully grown
Yesterday, I woke up and really felt older.
Yesterday was big and cloudy and gray, but I don't think I've ever felt more clear headed.
Yesterday, I became Stephanie 2.0?
Driving down the 134, I made a conscious decision that I am happy with my life, smoking my Japanese cigarettes (Thanks, Maggy) and listening to Lou Reed. I'm perfectly eighteen in the kind of way that cannot be faked or revisited later. And it's so good.
I know that I need to write something about yesterday, not anything big, just clear and documented, so that later I can remember how I felt on May 21, 2006. And also on May 22, because today was really just as important as yesterday.
Yesterday was Rita Flora, and How To books and underwear with snaps, clasps and bows, and Polariods and pearl earrings and dirty mags and a lot of cigarettes and Lottery tickets and shiny compact mirrors and sweet/ingenious books and rosewater saffron ice cream and surprise flowers and little summer clothes and frisbee and my little Elsa (and Olivia!)...
And my red-mouthed goddess girl and Trevor (and Nguyen!) and the sweetest couple ever (Lex and Daniel, that would be you) and surprise guests and love notes and lots of pink cheeked people on damp grass.
Oh and it was driving home over Coldwater Cyn, listening to the Not So Suble 06 Mix with Luke and Jackie. There are no two people I would rather be with when driving over the canyon on a rainy day with the windows down.
And later it was Nate and I sitting in my bedroom with brownie mix and old photos, talking about today and tomorrow and New York (and last year's portrait).
And very lastly, it was a grownup goodbye at the airport while the rain catapulted itself onto my windshield (and left me alone with three sweet syllables).
I can't seem to form any cohesive thoughts right now, and it's really frustrating, but
I like my life.