I HATE CELL PHONES
i have gone over my text messaging rates and the triple text didn't help and this fucking feminist theory / christian theology book isn't HELPING! i worked a 12 hour shift yesterday and a 6 today and feel as through i am the only one of my friends who works yet i still have no money. i hate liking someone because things always get all effed up and its tiring and im sick of the questioning and the waiting. i want to just skip the head games so we have more time to spend together. this is not socially acceptable. but what IS socially acceptable is to make myself "less available" and "wait it out". never being good at these norms...and alas, i am single. i feel bitter towards most people lately, and tired at these relationships. i'm tired of telling people what i think of GOD because i'm afraid that perhaps its all for show and i'm looking for people to take me under their wing and have pity on me. fuckfuckfuck this is stupid. stupid. i need a cigarette. and HA HA HA if you think i'm a horrible person.