it's insane how many people have my telephone number that have never dialed it.
why am i so horrible at holding conversations? i hate it. there is always so much i want to say, but it always comes out as a ridiculous jumble of half sentences and funny faces. what is wrong with me? i must be awful company. it's like the way you have a mental list of all the cd's that you want to buy, but when you step foot inside the cd store, it's erased from your mind, so you buy the first thing that looks good to you only to realize, as you step outside, that this cd is crap, what where you thinking? why didn't you buy this or this or that? you idiot. that is every conversation i have ever had in my life. do you see what i mean? even that probably didn't make any sense whatsoever. i think holly is the only person that i can talk to and make any sense, i don't know why that is, probably because we are so different. she comes home on the 21st, i am so happy. i wish my mom would pull that rake out of her ass and just let hollys damned boyfriend stay here. grow up mom. zak comes home sunday, i am also excited about that. it's weird that he is coming home so soon....that doesnt usually happen.
i am very upset about the fact that i have no party/shin-dig/get together/social gathering to attend on prom night. i am also upset that i don't have a "senior trip" to go on, and that even if one came up, my mom probably wouldn't let me go. i don't want to go to disney world with coach butler and i don't want to go to the beach. i really want to jump in someone's car and drive to some big crazy hardcore fest waay away from alabama. without girls, because i don't like girls. WHY CAN'T I DO THAT MOM??? ::snarl::
i am so restless.
i hate the way girls look in t-shirts, which is a bad thing for me because i love t-shirts and it makes me so self conscious, because i wear them all the time and i know how horrible it looks. i hate the female body, it is not attractive. it is lumpy and awkward. boobs are good for nothing but getting in the way (and making t-shirts look bad).
i need a haircut, i hate my hair and i wish that there was something that could make me like it. one would think that a decent haircut would do just that, but i am not sure....maybe i have just never had a decent haircut. but really, it's fucking curly how much can you do with that shit? that's what i thought.....indeed, it is a lost cause.
i am done.
i am very upset about the fact that i have no party/shin-dig/get together/social gathering to attend on prom night. i am also upset that i don't have a "senior trip" to go on, and that even if one came up, my mom probably wouldn't let me go. i don't want to go to disney world with coach butler and i don't want to go to the beach. i really want to jump in someone's car and drive to some big crazy hardcore fest waay away from alabama. without girls, because i don't like girls. WHY CAN'T I DO THAT MOM??? ::snarl::
i am so restless.
i hate the way girls look in t-shirts, which is a bad thing for me because i love t-shirts and it makes me so self conscious, because i wear them all the time and i know how horrible it looks. i hate the female body, it is not attractive. it is lumpy and awkward. boobs are good for nothing but getting in the way (and making t-shirts look bad).
i need a haircut, i hate my hair and i wish that there was something that could make me like it. one would think that a decent haircut would do just that, but i am not sure....maybe i have just never had a decent haircut. but really, it's fucking curly how much can you do with that shit? that's what i thought.....indeed, it is a lost cause.
i am done.