(no subject)
I'm sorry that I said I don't want to come home. I miss you! so much, but.... I just need my family so much right now.... I'm so afraid of having my mommy living a state away...
I know sweetie, i don't have that connection with my family so it's hard to relate, but i understand. And i miss you.
It's tough, baby. I really don't want to abandon you in the middle of your apprenticeship. But I really can't be in flagstaff anymore. I've been so tempted all week to just stay here. I love you, but I can't pictures our life together in flag for much longer.
Okay, this i do not understand. What is it thats so bad about it here?
:( everything.... I've been so unhappy there for so long. It's just getting worse lately now that my mom's leaving. It's affecting everything, including our relationship.
I just don't understand. Whatever changes we need to make, we can make, if it makes you happier. We just need to talk about it. But i can't just abandon my career that i'm just starting.
Don't get me wrong, I don't expect you to. I just don't know if what we have is healthy and can go on for forever the way it is.
Yeah, the way things have been going lately you're right. But we've been happy together for so long, you can't just let some hard times take that away. We love each other and we can get through it whatever it takes.
Am i wrong? Am i missing something? Do you really feel like nothing can be fixed? You're ready to just walk away, just like that?
I don't know, Darren. I feel like we lost the ability to communicate a long time ago. I just want that when I come back. But everytime I'm with you, I have no idea where to even start.
Darren I expected you to be angry when I left in the middle of the night and didn't come home in the morning. I wanted to hear you scream at me to know that you still felt. I need to hear what's going through your mind. I need you to tell me when something's wrong with you, when something's wrong between us. We can't work through problems right now because we have no communication. We can't go on like this. We've gotten so comfortable together that we don't take each others' feelings into consideration. Something's gotta give.
Ok, thats a start. For a while now i'v felt like you were pulling away from me, talking to your friends instead of me. All you have to do is talk to me, hell even yell at me if you need to. You're my best friend, i want you to be happy. When you get back we will figure things out.
I'm holding you to that. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep every night.
I didn't know it was so bad sweetie. Communication goes both ways. I will work on it, and i'm holding you to it as well. I love you, don't forget it.
I'll try. I love you.