Should've known better that when you came around, you were going to make me cry...
Just in my personal opinion, the last month of my life has been crazy.
I'm just starting to see things that I never seen before.
This entry is going to be long, I can feel it, but thanks to anyone who reads it (aka sara jo) because I need this.
First of all I worry to much about what other people are doing or have done, and what they have, and what I want.
I just make myself miserable.
People tell me stories about really fun times and I cant even process what they are thinking because all I have ringing in the back of my mind is...why wasnt't I included...or I wish I would of done that.
So I need to just listen to people and hear them out and make my own memories and be happy and content with myself and what I have instead of wanting what other have.
Second I always talk about how I want to be fun and live and try new things and experience being a crazy teenager but then i just worry to much about stupid stuff.
I need to take chances.
I always end up kicking myself in the balls about stuff that I wish I would of done or tried and then I stress over it for days and then I think about how big of a douchebag I am and then I think that everyone thinks I'm ridiculous and that everyone hates me and then I go into some deep depression and I cry and I amd just ridiculos.
And this is every day of my life.
Ridiculous.
I realize I just make myself stress out and miserable and that it is not anybody elses fault.
I shouldnt let what people do affect me like a crazy person. I should deal with it and realize that however I take it is the way I am going to look at it so I might as well just not worry about it and get over it.
So I realized something.
That karma is a bitch.
that is what I am tryign to get out.
what goes around comes around.
I need to stop lying.
I need to tell the truth and not be afraid of hurting other peoples feelings or trying to not make myself look like a bad person.
I need to realize that until I help myself, I need to stop blaming other people.
Everything I do is my decision so whatever I do I should do to make myslef happy.
I think I need to just take a break.
Take a weekend off.
Catch up on my school work.
Save up some money.
Get my life together.
Get on good terms with the friends that I take advantage of.
Sit in my room.
Clean it.
Watch some good movies, read a good book.
Not be insame...BE CONTENT!!!
I'm just starting to see things that I never seen before.
This entry is going to be long, I can feel it, but thanks to anyone who reads it (aka sara jo) because I need this.
First of all I worry to much about what other people are doing or have done, and what they have, and what I want.
I just make myself miserable.
People tell me stories about really fun times and I cant even process what they are thinking because all I have ringing in the back of my mind is...why wasnt't I included...or I wish I would of done that.
So I need to just listen to people and hear them out and make my own memories and be happy and content with myself and what I have instead of wanting what other have.
Second I always talk about how I want to be fun and live and try new things and experience being a crazy teenager but then i just worry to much about stupid stuff.
I need to take chances.
I always end up kicking myself in the balls about stuff that I wish I would of done or tried and then I stress over it for days and then I think about how big of a douchebag I am and then I think that everyone thinks I'm ridiculous and that everyone hates me and then I go into some deep depression and I cry and I amd just ridiculos.
And this is every day of my life.
Ridiculous.
I realize I just make myself stress out and miserable and that it is not anybody elses fault.
I shouldnt let what people do affect me like a crazy person. I should deal with it and realize that however I take it is the way I am going to look at it so I might as well just not worry about it and get over it.
So I realized something.
That karma is a bitch.
that is what I am tryign to get out.
what goes around comes around.
I need to stop lying.
I need to tell the truth and not be afraid of hurting other peoples feelings or trying to not make myself look like a bad person.
I need to realize that until I help myself, I need to stop blaming other people.
Everything I do is my decision so whatever I do I should do to make myslef happy.
I think I need to just take a break.
Take a weekend off.
Catch up on my school work.
Save up some money.
Get my life together.
Get on good terms with the friends that I take advantage of.
Sit in my room.
Clean it.
Watch some good movies, read a good book.
Not be insame...BE CONTENT!!!