Moderation.
How can you give your blog a subject before you even type it?
I think it's funny that the only time I usually write in this blog is when I have a snowday. I should be better at this but I'm not. :[ I tend to forget a lot.
SOOOOO
Yesterday: I went to stategrounds at around 3:30 after school to met up with Melly. She's been at GLAA for this year. It's some type of churchy private school and she is on a medical leave right now. jeezness she almost died! Her thyroid doesn't work so she has to take pills for it and her school nurse wouldn't give her her pills. Her thyroid was supposed to be at like .037 or something and it was at 227! Holy crapness. Well I'm glad she's alive :]. So I bought my favorite flavor of jones and we chatted for awhile. She got on the computer there and got on myspace haha. She's not allowed to get on that at school. The only thing she is allowed to do is email. I feel bad for her :[ They force you to become vegetarians there and you're not allowed to have music/ipods/cd players.
She didn't end up coming until 4 though. I got her message on my cellphone when I was already there at 3:30. So I sat and read my classic book for awhile at a table by the door. It was weird I chose that seat because I hate being cold. And everytime someone would come in and out of the place a cold draft of air would pass over me. But for some reason it made me feel content and realistic. I liked watching all the people pass by and wondering where they were going and what they would be doing. I felt good being alone with no one bugging me or demanding my attention. I was just another one of those people in the coffee shop that was anonymous and faceless. Usually I like attention, I'm not going to lie, but this was nice.
Today: There isn't much to say on today since it just started so maybe I will edit this and add in more later.
Sometimes I feel that as I get older I lose my imagination. I'm getting dull and lusterless. I can't write anymore...I can't paint. But maybe it's something inside my head that is blocking it from all coming out. It's a black wall wedged in there somewhere. I wish that I could figure out how to unblock it.
I feel as if I'm getting happier though. But I still have my faults
-I'm very jealous person
-I have really high expectations
-My self esteem can really suck sometimes
-I have no motivation to anything at times. I can give up REALLY easy
I have to write those down because it grounds me and it makes me eye level with what I have to improve upon myself. If I could make this better I could be a wayy happier person with less anxiety. Tony makes me smile though : ] I have to work on listening to him better. I'm not supposed to interrupt what he is saying to me just because I think I know what he's going to say. But I can't read minds (I'm not that cool) and it just puts more pressure on the argument. If I would just listen it would end faster and he wouldn't be so annoyed and angry at me.
No one has to win the fight. We both can win. I love him a lot. And I want us to be strong. So I'm working on my listening skills.
I really hope that he is allowed to come over today ^_^
I want to have some more good times (don't be a pervert)
Picture of the day:
This is how I feel. I don't know how to explain it.
I think it's funny that the only time I usually write in this blog is when I have a snowday. I should be better at this but I'm not. :[ I tend to forget a lot.
SOOOOO
Yesterday: I went to stategrounds at around 3:30 after school to met up with Melly. She's been at GLAA for this year. It's some type of churchy private school and she is on a medical leave right now. jeezness she almost died! Her thyroid doesn't work so she has to take pills for it and her school nurse wouldn't give her her pills. Her thyroid was supposed to be at like .037 or something and it was at 227! Holy crapness. Well I'm glad she's alive :]. So I bought my favorite flavor of jones and we chatted for awhile. She got on the computer there and got on myspace haha. She's not allowed to get on that at school. The only thing she is allowed to do is email. I feel bad for her :[ They force you to become vegetarians there and you're not allowed to have music/ipods/cd players.
She didn't end up coming until 4 though. I got her message on my cellphone when I was already there at 3:30. So I sat and read my classic book for awhile at a table by the door. It was weird I chose that seat because I hate being cold. And everytime someone would come in and out of the place a cold draft of air would pass over me. But for some reason it made me feel content and realistic. I liked watching all the people pass by and wondering where they were going and what they would be doing. I felt good being alone with no one bugging me or demanding my attention. I was just another one of those people in the coffee shop that was anonymous and faceless. Usually I like attention, I'm not going to lie, but this was nice.
Today: There isn't much to say on today since it just started so maybe I will edit this and add in more later.
Sometimes I feel that as I get older I lose my imagination. I'm getting dull and lusterless. I can't write anymore...I can't paint. But maybe it's something inside my head that is blocking it from all coming out. It's a black wall wedged in there somewhere. I wish that I could figure out how to unblock it.
I feel as if I'm getting happier though. But I still have my faults
-I'm very jealous person
-I have really high expectations
-My self esteem can really suck sometimes
-I have no motivation to anything at times. I can give up REALLY easy
I have to write those down because it grounds me and it makes me eye level with what I have to improve upon myself. If I could make this better I could be a wayy happier person with less anxiety. Tony makes me smile though : ] I have to work on listening to him better. I'm not supposed to interrupt what he is saying to me just because I think I know what he's going to say. But I can't read minds (I'm not that cool) and it just puts more pressure on the argument. If I would just listen it would end faster and he wouldn't be so annoyed and angry at me.
No one has to win the fight. We both can win. I love him a lot. And I want us to be strong. So I'm working on my listening skills.
I really hope that he is allowed to come over today ^_^
I want to have some more good times (don't be a pervert)
Picture of the day:
This is how I feel. I don't know how to explain it.