my summer of...
sunsets so beautiful i can hardly believe they're real. tears and heartbreak. laughing til i can't breathe and my stomach and sides ache. touching. being valued. tripping the fuck out. staying awake for days. making pancake after pancake. putting tents up and down, up and down every weekend. dancing in the rain, in the sun, in the light, in the dark. never wearing shoes, hard soles of my feet, picking out thorns at the end of the day, dirt ingrained into each line. tan lines where my rings were. dreadlocks where there was hair. discovering passions. waking up in new places every day. making mistakes and learning so much from them (but not enough to make me not make them again!) maybe next time. driving for miles and miles in vans. driving in convoy. turning cartwheels everywhere, down streets in cities, through flowers in fields, down paths in woods, in car parks everywhere. meditating. chanting and becoming one with the sound. singing my heart out. being part of a ritual. building things. using my body in new ways. being outside all the goddamn time. not sleeping in a bed for 3 months. learning to love the earth. being vegan. luxuriating in butter milk and cheese. accepting myself, and fucking loving it. feeling like i'm on pills/mdma when i am not. rushes of intense love for things. just being. double rainbows. being naked. getting into saunas. watching shooting stars from an outdoor hot tub. lying naked in the grass looking at the stars. getting new clothes from the things that people have left behind. starting writing again. playing my violin. feeling like i belong. watching mist rise over mountains. sleeping outside. stopping drinking caffeine. feeling like i am tripping when i am not. mushrooms. wild food. making epic fruit salads. chop chop chopping. uncontrolable feelings. violence. hurt so bad i never thought i'd get up again. realising that i am stronger than i think. opening up to everything. becoming the person i am inside on the outside. chalk boards. being thin! being fucking ecstatic about how i look. becoming a hippie. becoming a wild child. becoming a woman. moving towards...something better.
travelling the road to awe.
travelling the road to awe.