(no subject)
alex is sitting next to me making horrendous noises on the computer, i curse the day he discovered frooty loops. today was, and is continuing to be a little strange, i feel like i'm transitioning from one world to another. its weird to think that yesterday i hadn't seen myself in a week, hadn't used a phone in a week, hadn't even been in a house at all and yet here i am now sitting in a house on a bed typing on a laptop surrounded by all these electrical things, having painted my nails for the first time in literally months, maybe even a year, reading all these blogs by people who are focused on fashion and style and just things, and looking at pictures of pretty things and nice books and i have to buy them all rather than just trading them for something else pretty, or food, or a skill that i have. money somehow seems very strange now. at the beginning of the week i heaved my bag around, full of all these things i thought i needed, purse, phone, id, train tickets, organiser...so many things, by the end of the week i carried a pen and some paper in my pocket and a little metal buddha that i bought with the only money i had with me, to remind me of all the things that i thought and did during that week, and how different i was and am now to when i went away. im not sure how to describe it, or even what it is but something inside me is different, and its here to stay.