(no subject)
I've only had two, real, "heavy" relationships in my life. Only two that have actually stuck with me. And stuck with me meaning that when I look at something or say something a certain way or hear a song or even make something, it goes straight to a memory. And last night I found one of the two memory boxes that I have kept of one of the relationships and it actually sucked. The other relationship memory "box" is actually scattered all over my room and I don't have the heart to tear anything down. I like where all of that stuff is because I really like those memories. Except when I'm having a bad day, I'll look at those things and blame myself for everything that went wrong... but only when I'm having a bad day. It's so strange how people are before, during, and after a relationship. The way you looked at them before, ended up being something totally different during and completely shocking after, at least for me anways. I'll probably keep those two relationships close to me forever because I'm pretty sure they have helped mold me into the person I am at the moment. But then again, so has every one of my friends. I don't think I'm ready for anything right now or anytime soon. I want things to happen completely off guard and random like those two relationships did. Because it is what made them as close to perfect as they could have ever gotten.