there goes me.. say bye now..
watchin the trees zoom by through the glass and im sitting watching them but my eyes arent my mind, im not thinking about them.. im thinking about my life. where i am where im going who im with who will stay who has gone whos entering, where my home is, where im living, where i travel to, the past the present the future, death, suicide, murder, friendship, broken hearts, love, and all the pain ive ever felt and how now its at its peak. the peak. but the climax? i guess not. i dont think so. im thinking how death is just something that happens to a person. like anyting else. like walking around, like getting into an accident, like moving, like falling out of love, like a part of you missing, death is just something that happens to you. its never too soon or too late. never . never ever.
i thought about how angry i was and i just wanted to take that knife in the kitchen with the black handle and just jab it rite into my wrist.. just fucking stab it.. and then i wondered what would happen next.. would i sit on my bed and bleed to death quietly, purposefully?.. would i scream in pain and be rushed to the hospital and on the way die of too much loss of blood?.. or would i make it there and have it stitched up and live the rest of my life knowing how death is rite there.. rite there for me to play around with whenever i wanted. just like a good friend.
well now that i'm not myself anymore and its hard to get back on track, i guess your not really sure who i am either. and now he's gonna think i'm some sort of depressed bitch and not who he thought i was but in reality this isnt who i am and i am who he thought i was.. go fucking figure.
