rabbit

[ohblast]

i think my most favourite thing was standing on the balcony at three am with a cigarette and a pint of water and the murmur of roman candle, looking out alone from 28 stories, and distracted by the voices that were leaking through the window. there were shadows playing tricks on my eyes while i was caught in love with the jutting electricity spread out around me, and even though i couldnt see anyone, there was such a vibrancy, this constant assertion of life, and it was scaring me to think that they were all rolling their lives around in their head, planning what they needed to do and and how they'd get there and the ways they would be better. and maybe i'm an optimist but really i think that we're all just doing the best we can with whatever we have at the time, and i'll learn to take that into consideration, cut some slack and ease up and understand because he says i'm trying, i'm saying i'm trying.

yesterday i bought a white watch and now i'll always know what time it is.