where's the sexual tension?
this weekend ended before midnight two nights in a row & i can't imagine how i'd let such a thing happen.
i miss having friends & staying out late.
it's hard to make plans when the only person who you know wants to be out is yourself. i slept in my own bed for two nights. i need a camera so i can capture things that are beautiful. i need a camera so i can make things beautiful. i need a camera so i have something of substance to occupy my time. i might not graduate. i want to go barefoot to prom & i want to not shower until after prom. i dont want to speak to my mother or father. conversations stress me out. i want to find another job doing something that i at least remotely care about. ringing up people's groceries is getting old. eric st cyr is one of the only people keeping me going. i haven't used my date stamper in far too long. my room is a mess. my life is a mess. school ends in less than thirty days & i move onto something new that i'm pretty sure i wont be able to handle. i need a break and i need routine. what happened to old friends and bfforever. why is alyssa in maine? & why can't she spend days getting high with me? after two years healing time i still can't bring myself to go to our high school musical. i know i'd end up in tears & just wish i had a chance to be on stage again. things are going to crash soon. life better slow down fast because i know i'm getting left behind. i need sexual tension & summer flings. i need new things. i need to reorganize my brain.
it hurts to know that you regard me as a threat & it hurts to know that it's too late. i wish it didn't have to be spoken in such harsh words. i wish we could just accept eachother & be the most amazing threesome + more to exist. i know it could happen.
i want to be regarded as part of it all. & i know that i'm not.
i miss having friends & staying out late.
it's hard to make plans when the only person who you know wants to be out is yourself. i slept in my own bed for two nights. i need a camera so i can capture things that are beautiful. i need a camera so i can make things beautiful. i need a camera so i have something of substance to occupy my time. i might not graduate. i want to go barefoot to prom & i want to not shower until after prom. i dont want to speak to my mother or father. conversations stress me out. i want to find another job doing something that i at least remotely care about. ringing up people's groceries is getting old. eric st cyr is one of the only people keeping me going. i haven't used my date stamper in far too long. my room is a mess. my life is a mess. school ends in less than thirty days & i move onto something new that i'm pretty sure i wont be able to handle. i need a break and i need routine. what happened to old friends and bfforever. why is alyssa in maine? & why can't she spend days getting high with me? after two years healing time i still can't bring myself to go to our high school musical. i know i'd end up in tears & just wish i had a chance to be on stage again. things are going to crash soon. life better slow down fast because i know i'm getting left behind. i need sexual tension & summer flings. i need new things. i need to reorganize my brain.
it hurts to know that you regard me as a threat & it hurts to know that it's too late. i wish it didn't have to be spoken in such harsh words. i wish we could just accept eachother & be the most amazing threesome + more to exist. i know it could happen.
i want to be regarded as part of it all. & i know that i'm not.