(no subject)
I'm listening to the soothing rain against my window and my blinds are completely open. I unhinged the windows so they're slightly open and light rain is falling on my face in most comforting way. If it was up to me, the sky would always be filled with bolts of neon lightning, rain clouds, and the roar of thunder. Warm sunlight is quite nice and mood lifting but I feel as if stormy weather relates to my personality overall better. Unpredictible, erratic, and completely eccentric but beautiful. I've been yelled at and lectured, mother with tears in her eyes. I am empty and my facial expression has changed not once. For me, that is a rarity.
I wish to find someone to spend time carelessly with. I wish for someone to reach out and make me feel like I never have before. I'll be waiting for that day until I die, surely. Nothing ever touches my heart quite like the way my obsession does. I feel as if I'm dancing with my obsession, it having the power and the lead to sway my mind, my body, my senses. I'm at a loss of control, but yet I'm comforted by its strength. As if it was a twisted man only looking for superficiality and a quick fix, I am disgusted with my obsession yet so drawn to it. I can't keep away.