(no subject)
why??
why didn't i ever listen to anything anyone ever told me? they warned me about this. they saw it coming. But everything was so right, so perfect, that i was totally oblivious to anything that mattered about what they told me. now here i am not knowing what to do. should i be happy or sad? should i be thankful or expect more? im completely emotionally dependant on him. And i'm just now seeing this as i can't even control my own attitude when I'm not with him. I let myself cry over everything. I'm never going to give up on us. Ever. Nothing has even happend to make me question whats going to happen with our relationship because it is still a strong healthy relationship. It's me I need to question. I need to get my life in track. I'm down to 2 actual friends who aren't guys. Jen and Riah. And they mean the whole world to me. I need to do some serious thinking, searching..I need to find who I am. I've completely lost track of who I am and who I'm supposed to show everyone I am. I'm so sick of not knowing what I want in life. Or which way to go and letting other people make the descision for me. I hate it that I did this to myself. I just stopped caring, became a bum. Letting life take control of me when really I need to take control of my life. I'm just confused. Again.
why didn't i ever listen to anything anyone ever told me? they warned me about this. they saw it coming. But everything was so right, so perfect, that i was totally oblivious to anything that mattered about what they told me. now here i am not knowing what to do. should i be happy or sad? should i be thankful or expect more? im completely emotionally dependant on him. And i'm just now seeing this as i can't even control my own attitude when I'm not with him. I let myself cry over everything. I'm never going to give up on us. Ever. Nothing has even happend to make me question whats going to happen with our relationship because it is still a strong healthy relationship. It's me I need to question. I need to get my life in track. I'm down to 2 actual friends who aren't guys. Jen and Riah. And they mean the whole world to me. I need to do some serious thinking, searching..I need to find who I am. I've completely lost track of who I am and who I'm supposed to show everyone I am. I'm so sick of not knowing what I want in life. Or which way to go and letting other people make the descision for me. I hate it that I did this to myself. I just stopped caring, became a bum. Letting life take control of me when really I need to take control of my life. I'm just confused. Again.