(no subject)
I wish to feel smaller
under your sheets.
I wish for the whole truth
every time you speak.
I'm thinkin' about how you care half as much for me
While I watch you arrive, smoke cigarettes, sleep...
And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem
You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans
Ignoring me the morning after
isn't enough
and I swear I'm gonna cry.
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough.
And my blood won't stick
To the confines of my veins.
And your heart
Is gonna tear mine away.
And I wish to feel smaller under your hands,
though you seem satisfied as you slip mine
down your pants.
And I'm thinkin' about how you care half as much for me
While you lift up my shirt after asking politely.
And I guess it doesn't matter what I am or pretend to be
Cuz it's her you'll always love and it's her I'll always
envy.
I want to end this now so dreams of you won't keep me up.
But I swear I'm gonna cry.
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough.
.................................................................
friday we had a party at my place,
made some new friends. had a good time.
got a little drunk...the usual..then it got ghetto.
ha. all this drama. keep it out next time. thx.
things are decent, i spent all the money i had saved...
for my insurance on clothes. hopefully i'll be ok.
i hate paying bills but i can't imagine not living
out on my own. i think i'm going to eventually move to PA.
it' nice there. and not to far from my family here. if my mom
would move there it would be much sweeter. it's basically all thats
keeping me here. i'd miss my friends but they'd visit. i think i need to
do something like this for myself. i've been realizing im so dependent on so many people.
and i don't like it. so moving...will hopefully change that part of me.
as for me and jon...
i still like him.
i found somet new things out.
i kinda expected it. but i couldn't let him in.
so im not really hurt...just disapointed. he might be going
to jail on tuesday. it might be good that he does. i'll miss him
but i need to get over it.
under your sheets.
I wish for the whole truth
every time you speak.
I'm thinkin' about how you care half as much for me
While I watch you arrive, smoke cigarettes, sleep...
And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem
You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans
Ignoring me the morning after
isn't enough
and I swear I'm gonna cry.
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough.
And my blood won't stick
To the confines of my veins.
And your heart
Is gonna tear mine away.
And I wish to feel smaller under your hands,
though you seem satisfied as you slip mine
down your pants.
And I'm thinkin' about how you care half as much for me
While you lift up my shirt after asking politely.
And I guess it doesn't matter what I am or pretend to be
Cuz it's her you'll always love and it's her I'll always
envy.
I want to end this now so dreams of you won't keep me up.
But I swear I'm gonna cry.
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough.
.................................................................
friday we had a party at my place,
made some new friends. had a good time.
got a little drunk...the usual..then it got ghetto.
ha. all this drama. keep it out next time. thx.
things are decent, i spent all the money i had saved...
for my insurance on clothes. hopefully i'll be ok.
i hate paying bills but i can't imagine not living
out on my own. i think i'm going to eventually move to PA.
it' nice there. and not to far from my family here. if my mom
would move there it would be much sweeter. it's basically all thats
keeping me here. i'd miss my friends but they'd visit. i think i need to
do something like this for myself. i've been realizing im so dependent on so many people.
and i don't like it. so moving...will hopefully change that part of me.
as for me and jon...
i still like him.
i found somet new things out.
i kinda expected it. but i couldn't let him in.
so im not really hurt...just disapointed. he might be going
to jail on tuesday. it might be good that he does. i'll miss him
but i need to get over it.