(no subject)
Today is my birthday, and I am spending most of the day alone.
Everything with Gene is perfect. In fact, most days I feel like I stole a page from someone else's wonderful and beautiful life, and I am just waiting to get the rug pulled out from under me. I cross my fingers every single day. I love him with all of my heart, really.
I hate this city so bad. I hate THE CITY so badly. I want to move where the sun always shines, I want to live on the countryside. Next to great mountains, where the birds are always singing sweet songs, and the stars are so clear. I want fields, and flowers, and grass, and Gene. I don't want the sounds of traffic to wake me up every morning, and most nights. I don't want two people screaming at one another in the street to be the last thing I hear before I fall to sleep. (I don't sleep well.) I just don't want to live in this goddamned city anymore. We said this was our last winter here. I hope, I hope, I hope.
Everything with Gene is perfect. In fact, most days I feel like I stole a page from someone else's wonderful and beautiful life, and I am just waiting to get the rug pulled out from under me. I cross my fingers every single day. I love him with all of my heart, really.
I hate this city so bad. I hate THE CITY so badly. I want to move where the sun always shines, I want to live on the countryside. Next to great mountains, where the birds are always singing sweet songs, and the stars are so clear. I want fields, and flowers, and grass, and Gene. I don't want the sounds of traffic to wake me up every morning, and most nights. I don't want two people screaming at one another in the street to be the last thing I hear before I fall to sleep. (I don't sleep well.) I just don't want to live in this goddamned city anymore. We said this was our last winter here. I hope, I hope, I hope.