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[oh_sylvia]

I'm afraid I've fallen out of love with L. Or maybe this a case of the "iffs". I had been feeling this way for a couple of weeks, unwilling to admit it to myself. After the kiss with R, I thought I had gotten over my doubts, my fears, my general apathy towards our relationship

Comments

[starcharmer]

I know how you feel. I used to get that way with everything, and I'm kind of doig it now. But not so much.

I haven't gotten bored with Beau as a partner, and if we can go an entire year of seeing each other every day, I don't think I will get bored.

But I am getting bored with this life. I was thinking last night...whenever I pictured my future, I didn't picture getting married immediately, settling down and having kids. I wanted to see the world...go to another country...something.
But when Beau was thinking about starting his own business and getting a place here...that's just not what I want to do. I at least want to move to Spokane so I can see what living in a city is like.

Now that he has a...less permanent job and we're going to be more renting than owning...things are starting to look up for me. (:

I really really hope you figure out what you want to do, and that you do it. If you are not happy with L, sooner rather than later is the time to tell him. If you allow yourself to wait, he will get more and more attached and it will get harder and harder for him to let you go.

P.S. I've always been selfish, too...I think it's just how most human beings are. Don't be hard on yourself.

[oh_sylvia]

It's ironic, because when picturing my future a few years ago, I pictured myself married by now.

Now, settling down is great fear of mine. I get like this whenever I become content with the mundane.

But you guys are both young & I think it's good that you aren't settling. Move to spokane. I think it's pretty :)

As for speaking to L...well I don't know where or how to start. He's not the kind of guy I can just drop that sort of bomb on without some sort of freak out. If I talk to him before I've figured it out myself, he is gonna freak out and worry. Sometimes I wish I could just talk to him about these things in a rational manner.

Or maybe I'm not giving him enough credit? Hmmm

But you're right, I do need to speak to him soon.

Ps: Thanks :)