update the life.
here we go. i am not joining the navy. not too
long ago, my mom told me that she didn't
want me to feel like i HAD to go because
i wouldn't have a place to live. so she
said that no matter what..i would be
able to live with her. so i got to
talking to melissa on our 2 hour drive
back from lacrosse, wi. last night and
she put some sense into the situation.
why would i even think about joining
anymore? i mean seriously. i never
wanted to go. i mean, sure, the benefits
and money that came along with it is
awesome but i didn't want to travel.
i'm not like most people who would
love the opportunity to get paid to
go to different countries. i have
been moving around my whole life and
i finally found a place where i
love. i love the people and for
the first time in 2 years..my family
and i are getting along. i love it.
i am getting my car back this summer.
which will let me have a job.
and financial aid will pay for my
schooling. so why not? exactly.
my recruiter called me today and i
told him of my decision but he offered
me something else to think about.
ughhh. i hate thinking about my
future so much. it really stresses
me out. well, there is this new program
in the navy that is called the 15 month
program. i would go to boot camp for
the 2 months and come back and be
stationed in minnesota. about one week
a month i would go up to fort snelling
and train for the job i picked to go into.
so i would be in the navy reserves.
there would be no way that i would be
sent away. god, it sounded awesome.
for a weekend i would be getting $500.
and for boot camp i would be earning
an extra couple grand. so i was going to
do that. so i talked to my mom about it
and i was planning on going to boot camp
the next couple of months. but she reminded
me that the whole deal of me living here
was to help watch my little brother and
sister and that i would have to do it
in september. welll i said screw it. when
september rolls around, i would be in school.
there would be absolutely no point. and
i figure that if i still wanted to join
the navy in a couple years..i could.
this whole night has been crazy with
me thinking about all of this. i have
been crying and so stressed because all
i want to do is have my shit figured out
and set in stone for once in my fucking
life. i am so sick of not knowing what i
am doing and not being able to give someone
a straight up answer when they ask about it.
as far as everything else goes, i am
content with my friends and my family
now. i am just living and having fun.
now i don't have to worry about leaving
all of them and about growing up fast
like i have been doing my whole life.
i do, however, miss erin grant. i know
i have been like..fuck that..if she wants
to stop talking and bring the drama..then
i want nothing to do with her. but i miss
her just like anyone else would miss a friend
that they considered a good one. she made
me smile and laugh. i miss planning when
we would meet and everyting else.
but i guess, along with the rest of your
life, there are things you have to let go
of and move on without. there will always
be friends who come in and out of your
life. so i leave it at that.
my dad is an asshole, as usual. he is
making my little sisters life a living
hell and she wants nothing more than to
get out of the house. i want her to move
up here so bad but she has a boyfriend
whom she adores and doesn't want to let
go of and she is planning on moving in
with him. but it's just a boy with a plan.
i haven't seen my dad in 2 years. i want
to go down there and talk to him face
to face because he is so stubborn that he
always hangs up the phone. i miss my
family down there like you wouldn't believe.
ohhh updates.
long ago, my mom told me that she didn't
want me to feel like i HAD to go because
i wouldn't have a place to live. so she
said that no matter what..i would be
able to live with her. so i got to
talking to melissa on our 2 hour drive
back from lacrosse, wi. last night and
she put some sense into the situation.
why would i even think about joining
anymore? i mean seriously. i never
wanted to go. i mean, sure, the benefits
and money that came along with it is
awesome but i didn't want to travel.
i'm not like most people who would
love the opportunity to get paid to
go to different countries. i have
been moving around my whole life and
i finally found a place where i
love. i love the people and for
the first time in 2 years..my family
and i are getting along. i love it.
i am getting my car back this summer.
which will let me have a job.
and financial aid will pay for my
schooling. so why not? exactly.
my recruiter called me today and i
told him of my decision but he offered
me something else to think about.
ughhh. i hate thinking about my
future so much. it really stresses
me out. well, there is this new program
in the navy that is called the 15 month
program. i would go to boot camp for
the 2 months and come back and be
stationed in minnesota. about one week
a month i would go up to fort snelling
and train for the job i picked to go into.
so i would be in the navy reserves.
there would be no way that i would be
sent away. god, it sounded awesome.
for a weekend i would be getting $500.
and for boot camp i would be earning
an extra couple grand. so i was going to
do that. so i talked to my mom about it
and i was planning on going to boot camp
the next couple of months. but she reminded
me that the whole deal of me living here
was to help watch my little brother and
sister and that i would have to do it
in september. welll i said screw it. when
september rolls around, i would be in school.
there would be absolutely no point. and
i figure that if i still wanted to join
the navy in a couple years..i could.
this whole night has been crazy with
me thinking about all of this. i have
been crying and so stressed because all
i want to do is have my shit figured out
and set in stone for once in my fucking
life. i am so sick of not knowing what i
am doing and not being able to give someone
a straight up answer when they ask about it.
as far as everything else goes, i am
content with my friends and my family
now. i am just living and having fun.
now i don't have to worry about leaving
all of them and about growing up fast
like i have been doing my whole life.
i do, however, miss erin grant. i know
i have been like..fuck that..if she wants
to stop talking and bring the drama..then
i want nothing to do with her. but i miss
her just like anyone else would miss a friend
that they considered a good one. she made
me smile and laugh. i miss planning when
we would meet and everyting else.
but i guess, along with the rest of your
life, there are things you have to let go
of and move on without. there will always
be friends who come in and out of your
life. so i leave it at that.
my dad is an asshole, as usual. he is
making my little sisters life a living
hell and she wants nothing more than to
get out of the house. i want her to move
up here so bad but she has a boyfriend
whom she adores and doesn't want to let
go of and she is planning on moving in
with him. but it's just a boy with a plan.
i haven't seen my dad in 2 years. i want
to go down there and talk to him face
to face because he is so stubborn that he
always hangs up the phone. i miss my
family down there like you wouldn't believe.
ohhh updates.