Amortentia for 7_deadly_sins_
Title: Amortentia
Author: oh_neko
Rating: PG-13 for the most part
Genres: Angst, romance
Main Characters: Severus Snape, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter
Main Pairings: Severus/Lily, Sirius/Lily, pre!Sirius/Remus
Setting: Hogwarts during the Marauders’ sixth year
Summary: Severus Snape is in love with Lily Evans, but she only has eyes for Sirius Black. In desperation, he does the only thing he can think of, but will his bold move win Lily’s affections, or will everything blow up in his face? Multiple pairings. Completely AU.
Prompt: the 7_deadly_sins_ community; prompt #1: greed
Warnings: Violence, strong language, mild to moderate sexuality.
A/N: Enjoy!
“Severus! Severus, wait!”
Severus Snape paused mid-step as he prepared to climb the platform to the Hogwarts Express. Glancing around, he managed to identify the face to match the familiar voice. He smiled; at least, he considered it a smile. His lips twisted into an expression that bespoke happiness, confusion, lust and shame all at once. He held out one pale hand, and his lips turned up ever so slightly at the corners.
“Lily,” he breathed, emphasising her name as he helped his best friend ascend the platform. Together they entered the train.
“Oh, it’s been so hectic,” explained Lily Evans breathlessly as she threw her arms around his neck. Noting several onlookers, Severus made a face to indicate how unwanted her passions were, although that did nothing to prevent him from clinging to her in turn, nor from feeling a slight stirring in his groin at her touch. “I’m actually looking forward to getting back to school just to get a rest. N.E.W.T. classes can’t be nearly as time-consuming as taking a summer internship.”
She moved to the side to allow a few other students to pass, and Severus had the opportunity to look at her - really look at her - for the first time in a month. Her normally fair skin had a bit of a bronze glow to it, as though she had spent a significant time out in the sun. Her hair was a few inches longer, falling in a magnificent spill of curls down her back. The Muggle attire she was dressed in - jeans, and a brilliant green shirt that brought out the colour of her eyes - was flattering. Severus felt himself inhale a little too deeply as he looked her over, his heart quickening slightly as he raised his gaze to her face.
“I’ve missed you,” said Lily as Severus led the way to an empty compartment. Giving a gaggle of second years a withering look, Lily closed the door, securing their privacy. “I can’t believe I haven’t seen you since July.”
“You’ve missed nothing by not being home,” Severus assured her drily. He thought, briefly, of his own summer adventures. In her absence, he had remained secluded in his bedroom most of the time. Hours had been spent idly toying with his wand, fervently wishing he was of age and could do something. A few times, he had allowed hope to get the best of him and had wandered around her neighbourhood - never quite daring to ring the doorbell at her house, though he had been there before and knew her parents by name - but Lily had not been out in the yard, or at the old playground where they had met. It had been an exceptionally lonely season, and he was more pleased than he cared to let on about the return to school, to her.
With a gentle sigh, Lily patted his hand. “Nothing sounds heavenly. Having a lie-in every morning, swimming in the Somerset’s pool, going to movies, talking to you - my summer was madness. I’ve given up all ambition of working for the Ministry. If an internship is this overwhelming, I can’t imagine what it’s like actually being employed there.”
At this, Severus nodded gravely. “I would think, given your talents, you could do better than to align yourself with the Ministry. Particularly, it is difficult to imagine someone of your parentage being content there. It is highly unfortunate that our leaders are so archaic.”
Pursing her lips, Lily reluctantly agreed. “There was a lot of prejudice: gossip about whom was descended of whom; a near riot when Flout was nominated for Minister of Magic; proposals for blood-status tests - well, you know,” she broke off with a shrug. “The same talk that circulates in the Slytherin common room.”
Severus inclined his head. Slytherin House had never been a place tolerant to Muggleborn wizards and witches, and he had heard the typical biassed propaganda practically from the moment the Sorting Hat had sent him there. Mostly, he believed it was all codswallop. Lily was one of the brighter witches in their year. He bested her in Defence, but she could outshine him in Transfiguration, and they were equals in Potions. Her Muggle parentage had not lessened her abilities at all. In fact, Severus had noticed that some of his pureblood house mates were not quite up to Lily’s standards. On the other hand, Lucius Malfoy did throw out some particularly challenging statistics, but...Severus shook his head, chasing the thought away.
“They’re fools,” he assured her, and felt his heart skip a beat at her smile.
“So, any summer romance over the summer?” Lily asked teasingly, changing the subject. Although she professed to be used to it, talk of prejudice against her kind always made her uneasy. She could endure the taunts of the most ignorant Slytherin students, but having her employers view her as a lesser being because of her mother and father had been disheartening to say the least.
Severus’ smile disappeared like the sun behind a cloud. “No. Of course not.”
“A shame,” said Lily decidedly. “But I daresay you needn’t worry. You’ll meet someone eventually.” The thought of Sirius Black drifted to mind and Lily felt herself blush awkwardly. She glanced down at her clothes and pretended to remove a speck of lint.
His dark eyes boring into her, Severus regarded Lily sternly. How can you not know? he wanted to ask. How can you not see?
Ever since meeting Lily as a young child, Severus had been infatuated with her. He had dedicated years to learning every detail about her life, no matter how mundane. Truly, he found her far more interesting than any of the preening girls of Slytherin House, or even the clever, cultivated Ravenclaws most of his house mates preferred. She had an enthusiasm that tingled his senses like a Pepper-Up potion, and yet she was nothing like the vapid, bubble Hufflepuffs. Lily had spirit. Personality, beauty, brains, Severus accounted to himself, pursing his lips so they formed a straight line. Out of my reach.
“Oh,” Lily said suddenly, looking embarrassed but delighted.
Severus felt his face burn, wondering if she had somehow acquired the skill of Legilimency and was reading his thoughts. A moment later he realised she was simply looking out the window at Sirius Black, who was blowing kisses at her. Sudden, unspeakable jealousy suffused him, and Severus directed a murderous glare through the glass, but it was too late. Sirius drew back the door and came in.
“Lily!”
Bounding into the small compartment, Sirius rushed over to Lily and scooped her up in a crushing embrace. His face brushed against her neck as he drank in the scent of her perfume. “Mmm, Lil, you smell gorgeous. You look gorgeous,” he added, setting her back down onto her feet, where she straightened up her clothes and looked flustered. “Nice summer?”
“Fairly,” said Lily with a dismissive wave of her hand. “And you?”
Ignoring Severus, Sirius tossed his knapsack onto the bench and squeezed into the seat beside Lily. He kicked up his legs, resting his heavy boots against the windowpane. “Excellent,” he informed her, bursting with excitement. “Mostly I stayed at James’ with that lot.” He gestured through the door where, to Severus’ disgust, James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were huddled. “It was a lucky thing James invited me. Mum and I were at each other’s throats the whole first week. We would’ve had constant rows all summer if I hadn’t gone. Luckily, since then I’ve been shot of the place.”
For the first time, he glanced over at Severus and grinned wildly. “Snivellus,” he crooned, patting Severus roughly on the knee. “Lovely summer, wasn’t it? ‘Course, you might’ve not noticed. It looks like you spent the holidays hiding under a rock.” He swept out his arm grandly, indicating Severus’ customary pallor.
“Place a hand on me again, Black,” Severus spat, “and I’ll break every one of your fingers.”
“Touchy,” remarked Sirius carelessly. He turned back to Lily, ruffling her hair lightly when he noticed the look of dismay and reproached etched on her features. “I ought to join James and Remus,” he said, giving her a brilliant grin. “Come and find our compartment if you get bored,” he went on meaningfully, casting an amused glance at Severus’ face. “Bye, Lily.”
Raising her hand in a wan farewell, Lily watched as Sirius took hold of his luggage (he was none too careful and ended up dropping a heavy box on Severus’ feet and hitting him in the crotch with the knapsack) and made his way out. Then she leaned back against her bench as if all the energy had been sapped from her.
“How can you stand that - that -” Severus began angrily, his words tumbling over themselves due to frustration. He settled on the most available defect of Sirius’ character. “Gryffindor!”
“Excuse me, I’m a Gryffindor as well,” Lily reminded him gently, but she was not upset. Rather, she felt quite sorry for Severus’ mistreatment at Sirius’ hands, plus a little abashed at liking Sirius so much when he was always so cruel to Severus. “Sorry about him. He can be a bit trying at times.”
“A bit?” Severus asked, incredulous. He thought of the way Lily’s eyes had shone when she had looked up at Sirius, and he suddenly wanted to break something. “He’d better stay close to that lot,” he mumbled furiously, “because if I catch him unawares in a deserted hall one dark night, I’ll -”
“Don’t,” advised Lily bracingly. She offered a smile that did not match her mood. “Let’s find something more interesting to talk about than Sirius Black.” Ignoring the slight shiver that went up her spine at his name, she turned her full attention to Severus. “How did you do on the end of term assignments?”
He wanted to rant against Black until the deep well of rage within him was spent, but Severus knew better than to risk Lily’s temper by criticising her friends. It was maddening to him that she could consider the lot of Gryffindor boys her friends at all, especially Sirius and James. Pettigrew was an ignorant buffoon incapable of posing any serious threat, and Lupin was too quiet to draw Severus’ attentions most of the time, but Potter and Black - Severus forced himself to leave off thinking about them, knowing no good would come from it.
Steadily, he raised his gaze and met her eyes. “Adequately,” he decided. “I was finished before the month was out.”
“It took me until August,” said Lily, a tad morose. “There was so little time to study. I was absolutely swamped with work. Owls here, memos there, always having to take tea to Perkins - but you don’t want to hear about that.”
“I don’t mind,” said Severus under his breath. Anything to hear your voice.
She pretended not to hear him, being tired of the subject of the Ministry anyway. “I wonder what Slughorn will start us with in Potions this year.”
“He assigned a number of restricted ingredients,” Severus said, reaching into the pocket of his robes and withdrawing a battered looking parchment list. Having had precious little else to do, he had occupied his August painstakingly completing his start of term shopping. “Did you find everything that you needed for your kit?”
“Owl order,” Lily confirmed. “There wasn’t time to nip about in the stores looking for a handful of black beetle eyes or skeins of unicorn tail strands.”
“You must have found your internship quite overwhelming,” Severus decided. He debated a moment, then went ahead and asked the question that had plagued him all summer. “You were even too busy to write, it seems?”
Glancing up from the list she had been reading, Lily blanched, taking in the pain evident in Severus’ eyes. She bit her lip and cocked her head, surprised, as Severus usually hid his feelings exceptionally well. “I’m -” she began, but she was interrupted by the sudden shrill sound of the train braking and the abrupt escalation in the noise level as students pushed and shoved their way out of the compartments, eager to escape the crowded train.
They had arrived.
Part II
A/N: As any decent fan of the Shoebox Project knows, “Sirius Maturity Black” is in reference to the “Sirius and Remus Maturity Black-Lupin”, from the shoebox_project by LadyJaida and Dorkorific. If you haven’t read the shoebox_project yet, put this one on hold and do so promptly. You’ll be in for a real treat.
Severus lost her in the press of the crowd as a hundred Slytherins, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors collided, all elbowing and shoving, their voices rising with excitement as they met friends and relayed the gossip they had waited all summer to impart. For a moment, he remained in the compartment of the train, gathering up his belongings slowly and hoping fervently that she would come back and walk with him to the horseless carriages. However, when he finally staggered upright under the weight of his trunk and bags, he spotted Lily arm in arm with Sirius.
Gritting his teeth against the anger that swelled within him, he watched as Lily tipped back her head, laughing open-mouthed at some whispered joke of Remus’. I am not jealous, he told himself, wishing it were true. All I wanted was to talk to her, came another plaintive thought unbidden from his subconscious mind.
“Oy, Snape,” called out a Slytherin seventh year that Severus recognised as Mulciber. Severus felt his heart sink as all hope of catching up with Lily faded. Mulciber, a devoted blood purist and a driving force behind the spread of Lord Voldemort’s values within Slytherin house, never passed up an opportunity to catch Severus alone and drill him with questions about his associations with Muggleborns, or to pass on yet another tidbit of anti-Muggle propaganda.
“Mulciber,” Severus greeted with a certain strained civility. He was not one to care a great deal about popularity or even friendship, aside from Lily’s, but he knew the value of tact and had little interest in making enemies within his own House. Potter and Black are enough, he thought glumly as he fell into line with the other boy. “Pleasant journey?”
Mulciber shrugged his massive shoulders. “I should say it was,” he stated, smirking in the direction of a scandalised-looking Ravenclaw who darted through the door, smoothing her skirt across her hips. “I spent it with Flora Hawthorne,” he informed Severus needlessly. “We had quite the enjoyable trip. What about you? Any interesting tales to tell after spending hours locked in a private compartment with Lily Evans?”
“I should think not,” said Severus stanchly. He thought of Lily and sighed.
“Good thinking,” Mulciber confirmed. Conversationally, he sidled up to Severus. “Mudblood, I think, isn’t she?” The word fell easily from his lips.
Severus jerked as if stung at the offensive term. He opened his mouth to say something cruel about Mulciber’s old-fashioned beliefs, but Mulciber had spotted Lily chatting to Remus and Sirius and had decided to comment.
“Ah, she’s going a bit above her station there, I think.”
“How so?” Severus asked slowly, his voice silky and tight with anger.
“Black,” Mulciber pointed out. “Gryffindor, of course, but a pureblood and from a good family. The Blacks have always maintained a high social standing, haven’t they; why, I can’t think of a one who’s married a Mudblood, or even a half-blood. If he’s anything like the lot of them, he’ll have nothing to do with her.”
Severus heard the thud as he dropped hold of his trunk and reached into his pocket for his wand. Logic fled him; all he wanted to do was curse Mulciber to tiny, painful bits. There were so many reasons for it -- the boy’s ignorant blood prejudice, his casual use of the term Mudblood - though mainly Severus was offended by the very idea that Lily would go after Sirius Black. Despite knowing how she felt for the obnoxious Gryffindor, actually hearing his suspicions spoken hurt.
“He’s not,” he commented coldly, gripping his wand tightly in a white-knuckled fist. He followed Mulciber’s gaze and felt himself tremble from combined hatred, fear and envy as he watched Sirius lope across the grass hand-in-hand with Lily, who looked delighted. “He’s nothing like his parents, or Regulus,” he added, mentioning the name of Sirius’ younger brother, a fourth year Slytherin.
“Shame,” shrugged Mulciber. “Still, a pureblood and Mudblood....no, I don’t fancy that arrangement, and I can’t imagine even a Gryffindor turning blood traitor. She’d be better suited for Lupin.”
“That,” remarked Severus haughtily, “I very much doubt.” He narrowed his eyes at the Gryffindor prefect, hating Remus’ earnest, intelligent face. Even marred though he was by scars - Severus could not contemplate how he had earned them, seeing as Remus was never violent, nor prone to clumsiness - Remus was attractive, and the school’s female population tended to admire his pleasant expression and soulful hazel eyes. The scars, Severus was troubled to note, far from blemishing his handsome visage, actually gave the young man character.
Still, better him than Black, the bastard, piped up a voice in Severus’ mind. He turned to direct his glare towards Sirius, who was bent nearly double, howling with hilarity at some ridiculous utterance of Pettigrew’s. There was no denying it; if Remus was attractive, Sirius was divine. His grin was infectious; even Severus noted the way the students passing him were smiling back at Sirius’ hilarity, and a number of them encircled the laughing Gryffindor as if drawn to him by magnetic fields. Severus seethed inwardly, despairing his own appearance compared to Sirius’ easy allure. They shared the same hair colour, but while Severus’ hair was lank, ill-kept and often unwashed, Sirius possessed a glossy mane of blue-black strands that always seemed to fall perfectly in place without the slightest effort. Lily sometimes commented that Severus’ eyes betrayed a certain depth, but Sirius’ were fathomless and sparkling, the colour of storm clouds instead of black.
Scowling at Sirius’ even, white teeth, Severus turned his back on Mulciber, abandoning him on the pretense of exhaustion. It was not entirely a lie. The furious excitement that had been building within him steadily since August was spent. He had secretly scripted a fantasy of the long train ride back to school, complete with witty dialogue to attract Lily’s interest and vague ideas of finally confessing the undying crush he’d had on her since before they had become Hogwarts students. However, the journey had not gone at all the way he’d wanted, and all Severus desired at present was a quick evening meal - the feast was sure to be labourious - and then to seek out his familiar, if not precisely cozy, bed.
_______________
“Remus, be a dear and help me with these first years,” requested Lily when the laughter from Peter’s anecdote finally died down. She frowned at the milling crowd of young students, all of whom seemed confused, bewildered and, in some cases, already homesick. “We ought to get them rounded up and onto the boats before we head out to the castle. The poor dears,” she added as an afterthought, “were we ever that young?”
“Alas,” said Sirius melodramatically. “Where once we were innocent -“
”You were never innocent,” James assured him heartily.
“Was so,” came Sirius’ retort. He stuck his nose in the air, looking haughty. “That is, until I was corrupted by your befouled presence.”
“Remus?” pressed Lily, a little anxious now that a number of the older students had departed on the horseless carriages. “If we don’t hurry -”
“Right away,” Remus confirmed. “First years? First years, this way, please.”
With the help of James, Sirius and Peter, Remus and Lily managed to assemble the first year students into a neat, single-file queue and lead them over to the small, lighted boats that hovered on the water’s still surface. Shoes squelching in the mud at the edge of the lake, Lily bent to help a tearful, straggling first year girl - Hufflepuff for sure, Lily’s inner voice informed her - into the last wobbling boat before stepping back and watching as the little fleet set sail.
“Ready?” inquired Sirius chirpily, slinging his arm around Lily’s shoulders in a gesture of familiarity. Lily felt her heart pound faster at his touch, though Sirius seemed unaware. “Don’t want to be late for the feast. I’m starving!”
Remus snorted. “You’re always starving.”
“I need my nourishment,” Sirius informed him, grinning. “How else will I become a strapping young lad? I’m a growing boy.”
“Yes, and growing madder by the day, Padfoot,” shot back Remus, his own lips spreading into a curious smile. He boarded the carriage and pressed himself alongside Sirius, perhaps a little closer than necessary, though Sirius did not shift nor complain.
Lily, sitting on Sirius’ other side, started when he suddenly grabbed her hand, enclosed it in his own and gave her a meaningful squeeze. For a moment she simply grinned, knowing she likely looked a fool gazing off into the distance with a smile plastered on her lips, yet not caring in the least. She increased the pressure of her own fingers, noting, with pleasure, that spots of colour appeared on Sirius’ face. She’d thought him incapable of blushing, being such an outrageous flirt, and yet, there he was, his eyes glassy and his expression blissful. The carriage took off and the two of them jostled together comfortably, their rocking bodies colliding easily.
It was then that Lily noticed Severus. He was standing on the dirt path that wound from the platform to the school, all alone, waiting for another carriage to come and fetch him. Looking forlorn, clutching his luggage about him, he stared directly at her with such a strong look Lily could feel her face burning. The penetrating stare made her feel secretive, even slightly dirty, and she dropped Sirius’ hand even though she knew Severus could not see.
I should’ve stayed behind and waited with him, she thought, feeling rather ashamed of herself for selecting Sirius’ company instead. I wonder why he’s always by himself. Despite Severus’ fierce intelligence, he had made few friends since starting at Hogwarts, something Lily regretted immensely, since she herself had many and often pitied him his loneliness. Of course, it’s obvious why no one dares strike up conversation with him. The Severus she knew was pleasant and sensitive, a tad proud and extremely stubborn, but also a devoted and loyal friend. However, he kept his personality carefully masked within the school, preferring to drift in ghost-like silence down the halls rather than join in the conversations, and snapping at his fellow students without the least provocation, even though his dedication to the fickle art of potions proclaimed his nature as ultimately patient.
He’s been that way ever since I met him, thought Lily, remembering their first summer together and his complete intolerance for her sister, Petunia. For some reason, Lily alone had been singled out as worthy of Severus’ attentions. Aside from her, he had only a handful of acquaintances, nearly all of them Slytherins who had befriended him in an attempt to bolster their reputations or become privy to his incredible knowledge of Potions and Herbology.
Lily had never witnessed him carrying on a personal conversation with anyone else, aside from the few times Professor Slughorn had forced him to attend the occasional Slug Club party. Severus ate alone in the Great Hall; seated under the Slytherin banner, he generally read texts and ignored the rest of the table during meal times. He studied in a private, dusty nook in the library, or shut himself into unused classrooms to read. When he went outdoors, he shied away from the lake and the Quidditch pitch where the majority of other students lingered, and drifted instead to the edge of the Forbidden Forest where he was unlikely to be disturbed. Whenever he said anything of importance or spared a detail of his private life, it was always, exclusively, to her.
“ - the matter?” came Sirius’s concerned voice, interrupting her moody thoughts.
Shaking her head a little to clear her mind, Lily forced herself to shrug. “Oh, nothing really. Just excited to be back here, that’s all. With you lot,” she added, watching Remus offer a rare untroubled smile. Out of the corner of her eye she watched Severus - now just a small, dark figure in the distance - set off walking down the path, dragging his belongings with him. No carriage had come to fetch him, it seemed.
“Yeah, me too,” agreed Sirius. “Sixth years, almost top of the heap.” He followed Lily’s gaze, wondering what was occupying her attention when she should be looking at him. Then he spotted Severus, who was looking dusty, sweaty and ready to curse everything in sight. He jabbed James in the elbow. “Look,” he hissed, pointing, a wicked smile appearing on his face. “Snivellus.”
“Oh, don’t,” said Lily gently when she saw Sirius go for his wand. Biting her bottom lip, she touched his hand, trying to distract him. “He hasn’t done anything to you. Leave him be.” Turning to James, she issued a similar plea. “It’s not even officially the start of term yet. Let it go.”
James shook his head, skilfully mussing his dark hair so that it stood up at awkward, windblown angles and gave the appearance of having endured a tornado. Studiously, he resettled his glasses on his nose, twirling his own wand through his fingers. “You know what they say about an opportunity wasted....”
“Lily’s right. Let him alone,” offered Remus in a tiny, flat voice. He looked around a moment, as if startled by the sound of himself speaking. Then, resigned to the fact that no one would listen, he reached into his pocket and withdrew a book on Transfiguration he had been reading on the train. A small part of his conscience nudged him. He was prefect after all, and if any of the other students were being bullied it was up to him to stop it, even if it was his closest friends doing the tormenting, with his least favourite classmate as their victim. However, he’d been prefect over a year and had never once been able to make a dent in his friends’ behaviour, despite numerous attempts to get them to shape up.
“No fun,” mourned Sirius melodramatically, giving Remus a playful shove that was just a tad too hard. The other boy looked wounded for a moment, then brightened a bit when Sirius cuffed him around the head. “Besides, it’s only Snivellus. No harm, no foul.”
“Not true,” corrected Lily sternly, still worrying her lip. “Just because you’ve never gotten on with him doesn’t mean he hasn’t got feelings.”
“But he deserves it, Lily,” Sirius said. “The Slytherin git,” he added for good measure. “Besides, last year he started it. He hit James with the Jelly Legs Jinx on the second day, in Charms, for absolutely no reason at all.” He rearranged his features in an imitation of innocence, blinking widened eyes. “You know as well as I do that he’ll curse us first opportunity he gets. I just want to beat him to the punch this time. Anyway, it’s not like I’m using an Unforgivable Curse on him - not that I’d mind, particularly, but I’d rather not end up in Azkaban on his behalf.” Noting Lily’s shocked face, he held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I won’t hex him from here until next Friday, at least until dinner’s over. I don’t want to miss the feast.”
“Thank you,” said Lily, with feeling.
Sirius nodded. “Well, don’t expect the truce to last any longer than it takes to bump into him in an abandoned corridor. That’s just the way he is, Lil,” he went on as Lily gave him a pained look. “He’s Slytherin,” he pointed out reasonably. “He’s obsessed with the Dark Arts and would sooner curse somebody that look at them. What do you see in him, anyway?”
“He was the first wizard I ever met,” Lily replied. She did not expect Sirius to understand; she’d said it all before in an attempt to make it clear that she intended to remain friends with Severus, though to no avail. Her friends just avoided cursing him when she was watching; sometimes, not even then. The Gryffindors were determined to hate Severus, whatever her affiliation with him. “I’ll admit he can be trying at times,” - Sirius made a sceptical noise in his throat, but did not interrupt - “but underneath all that hostility, he is really a decent person. I should know, shouldn’t I? I’ve been friends with him longer than anyone.”
Sirius scoffed. “You’re his only friend. Tells you a bit about his personality, doesn’t it, the fact that no one else has taken to him in all this time?”
“You’re right, I’m all he has. All the more reason why I can’t stand by and watch you pick on him,” Lily reminded him primly. “Anyway, we’re sixth years now.” She smiled, cheered by the thought and her own hope for a pleasant year. She scooted a little closer to Sirius and leaned her head on his shoulder. Her hand resting on Sirius’ thigh, she looked up at him meaningfully. “I assume this means we’re a tad more mature.”
Sirius’ grin was bright enough to light up a room. Sirius, old boy, I think you’ve finally won her over, he thought, and was immensely pleased with himself. He had spent the better part of two years getting to know Lily Evans. Upon first meeting, his expectations for her hadn’t been high. She had shown up in the train compartment with Snivellus and had snapped at both him and James without cause. However, he’d known she would turn out all right from the moment she was sorted into Gryffindor, and his prediction had been correct. Lily was sweet, smart and sexy, everything Sirius wanted in a girl. And she likes me, he thought. Me!
He reached for her hand again, making a bit of a show about it, and intertwined his fingers with hers.
“All right, Lily. Have it your way. From now on I’m Sirius Maturity Black, at your service.” Playfully, he leaned in close, briefly smacking his lips against her cheek. He noted her shudder and smiled to himself before engaging her in a more relevant conversation about Quidditch teams. Pretty soon the discussion turned to debate as James and Peter piped up about their favourite players and guessed about who would be encouraged to try out for the Gryffindor team now that Sykes and Wood were finished with school, and all thoughts of Severus fled Lily’s mind.
Part III
“Not many of your classmates can emulate your hard work and diligence,” said Professor Slughorn as he paraded through the maze of desks, tables and cauldrons that lined his classroom. “Studying Potions at the Ordinary Wizarding Level requires patience and dedication - which all of you possess in spades, I might add - but N.E.W.T. level pursuit of the subject, well, that’s an entirely different dragon to slay.” He beamed at his students, of which there were only a handful. “I daresay every one of you will be successful in your studies. You all possess extraordinary talent, of which your friends are rightly jealous. Now, shall we begin? Books out, page one forty-four. Amortentia!”
Shrugging his knapsack from his shoulder, Severus pawed around in its dark depths, finally locating his Potions book among the texts assembled for his classes. Unlike the majority of N.E.W.T. students, he had arranged his schedule to include just as many courses as he had studied for the O.W.L.s, which gave him precious little free time. Not that I’ve ever had use for it, he reminded himself with a flash of bitterness. Severus had never been one to devote himself to lying under trees chatting idly about the latest student coupling or flying broomsticks around the Astronomy Tower with a gaggle of onlookers cheering him. During free periods, he was preoccupied with study, assigned or not.
“Partners?” Lily asked unnecessarily as the other students began pairing themselves off.
“Of course,” Severus said in reply, feeling a bit more eager about the assignment as Lily shifted her seat a bit closer to him, her elbow resting on his desk. He kept his smile hidden as he ducked into his bag again, removing his carefully packaged Potions ingredients. “We can use my kit if you like, and save yours until mine runs out. It’ll prevent anything from going stale.”
Lily nodded. “Good thinking.” She tapped her bottom lip with her index finger while she read the description of the potion they would be brewing. “Love potion?” she remarked, a bit surprised. “I thought those were banned at Hogwarts.”
“Only if one actually intends on using it,” came Severus’ reply. “Perfectly legal to brew, though, particularly in an advanced Potions class. Besides,” he continued, thinking of the numerous cases of spontaneous affection that had occurred during his past five years at school, “when have the rules against love elixirs ever been enforced?”
“Too right,” conceded Lily. “Every year, some poor fellow ends up smitten with the least popular girl in Hufflepuff, and I’ve never once seen the Headmaster take action against it. Well, all in good fun, I suppose. Most of them are too weak to do anything more than inspire a crush, and it fades within a few days anyway. I suppose no one worries about the effects, considering they are so brief and mild.”
Having read about Amortentia, Severus knew better. “Not this one,” he explained, tapping the page. “Amortentia is the strongest love potion known to wizard-kind. Of course, it can’t really inspire love, it can only create a pale imitation, derived from obsession, lust - well, you know,” he broke off awkwardly as Lily smirked.
“You know an awful lot about it,” she remarked casually, using her wand to light a fire in the grate beneath their shared cauldron. She was impressed by his knowledge. Lily considered herself a dedicated student, going above and beyond the requirements of her courses to gain a real understanding of the subjects, but Severus was like an encyclopaedia, especially when it came to potions.
“Not really,” he said quickly. He wondered at the knowing look in her eyes. “I’ve only read about it. I’d never dream of using it.”
“Of course not,” agreed Lily, airily waving her hand as though to dismiss the very idea. “What would you need it for? You’re brilliant, intellectual - you could have any girl you wanted, if you bothered to speak to any of them in civil tones.”
“I speak to the ones that interest me,” Severus said pointedly. “Lily, I -”
He was interrupted by the sudden appearance of Slughorn, who had waddled down their aisle and was looking expectant.
“Is everything clear?” he asked his two favourite students.
“Yes,” Lily piped up, eager as always to impress the instructor. Although Potions was a subject that came naturally to her, she had always felt the need to work harder than the rest of the class, as though to prove to her slightly prejudiced professor that she was just as skilled as the purebloods he taught. She ran a finger down the page of her book, consulting the list of ingredients. The potion was quite complicated, though not the most difficult recipe she had ever encountered in her research. She and Severus had managed a number of advanced concoctions during their independent study. “We need belladonna, Severus, do you have any?”
Soon they were thoroughly engaged in their work, Severus carefully chopping up springs of thyme and Lily stirring the simmering cauldron. Comfortably, they reached across each other for various ingredients and pored over the book together, guessing at ways to improve the quality of their finished product.
When they were finally done, Severus sighed at length; from pleasure rather than resignation. Working side by side with Lily, with their easy camaraderie and mutual interest in the subject, made Potions his favourite subject, and he normally felt relaxed at the end of a difficult brewing session, suffused with a sense of pride and satisfaction at their accomplishments. It was even nicer now that they were sixth years; only one of the Gryffindor boys - Sirius - had opted to continue on with the subject, though Severus had heard from Lily that James had earned an O on his Potions O.W.L. and he could guess Lupin had at least made an E.
At least this year will be free of melted cauldrons and unforeseen explosions, he thought ruefully, remembering the chaos of previous years when, bored, James had made it his goal to destroy a number of Severus’ potions by tossing unstable ingredients into the mix. Seeing his hard work reduced to naught had always infuriated Severus, particularly when Lily was witness to it, and he was glad Potter was not around to throw fireworks in his cauldron or curse him with the Confundus behind Slughorn’s back. Black was studying potions at the N.E.W.T. level too, but Severus hoped the absence of his friends would keep Sirius in line.
“That went well, didn’t it?” said Lily cheerfully as she bottled up a sample of their brew for Slughorn to mark. She watched as the other students brought their own results to the professor’s desk. “I wonder what he’ll do with it all.” She smiled. “You don’t suppose he’s nursing a crush on McGonagall or something, do you?”
“I very much doubt that,” Severus corrected her softly, though the corners of his mouth turned up in imitation of a smile at the idea. “Besides, I don’t suppose he’d trust student brews. N.E.W.T. or not, we’ve scarcely proven ourselves sufficient with this potion.”
Though, I am certain ours is perfect, he thought to himself with satisfaction, the proper pearly sheen, the consistency of milk, the spirals of steam. Amortentia; flawless, tasteless, virtually undetectable in a glass of pumpkin juice or a cup of tea....
The idea came to his with a sudden flash of inspiration. He looked over at Lily, who was collecting their supplies and clearing the table, paying him not the slightest heed. Her red hair shone in the reflected light of the cauldron fire. I want her, piped up a voice in the back of his head. The voice was shadowy, filled with lust and need and unspoken desire. But it’s Sirius she wants. We’ve been close for ages, and still it’s been him she’s fawned over since third year. She’ll never see me as anything more than a friend, unless -
His eyes shone as he glanced at Lily and she smiled back, unaware of the dark thoughts going through his mind. Discreetly, Severus picked up one of the slim phials that held the remainder of their potion and held it up to the light, remarking at the correct colour and substance of the Amortentia he had helped create. Slughorn would not notice if a small sample went missing, he knew, for the man only graded one phial per group, and locked the rest away in the cupboard in his office, perhaps for later use, or maybe just posterity. I’d never actually use it, of course, Severus informed himself sternly even as his heart began to pound with anticipation and anxiety. It’s illegal. It would be expulsion for sure if anyone found out. Anyway, she deserves better than something so underhanded, mischievous. It’s something Black would do.
“Ready? I’ve got some free time before lunch if you want to study together,” offered Lily. “You don’t have anything until Arithmancy, do you? And I haven’t got anything to do until Charms.”
“The library?” Severus questioned, closing his fingers over the Amortentia vial so she could not see. His lips curled into a sneer at the thought of his fellow students, who were rushing out to listen to the Quidditch scores on the wireless or chatter amongst themselves about the gorgeous new Muggle Studies teacher. “It’s sure to be abandoned.”
“Right you are,” agreed Lily, somewhat more accepting of the fact that few others dedicated themselves to intensely to their schoolwork. She smiled at Severus’ look of contempt as Nott pushed his way past them, hurrying out to the pitch for Quidditch practise. She held out her arm teasingly, and grinned when Severus took it.
Clutching her, Severus felt a rush of pleasure echo through him. He could feel the heat of her body through their robes, and shivered a little. Cautiously glancing over his shoulder to make sure he was not observed, Severus slipped the phial of Amortentia into the pocket of his billowing robes and led her out of the classroom, his mind buzzing with a thousand questions, good and evil battling for supremacy in his thoughts.
Author: oh_neko
Rating: PG-13 for the most part
Genres: Angst, romance
Main Characters: Severus Snape, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter
Main Pairings: Severus/Lily, Sirius/Lily, pre!Sirius/Remus
Setting: Hogwarts during the Marauders’ sixth year
Summary: Severus Snape is in love with Lily Evans, but she only has eyes for Sirius Black. In desperation, he does the only thing he can think of, but will his bold move win Lily’s affections, or will everything blow up in his face? Multiple pairings. Completely AU.
Prompt: the 7_deadly_sins_ community; prompt #1: greed
Warnings: Violence, strong language, mild to moderate sexuality.
A/N: Enjoy!
“Severus! Severus, wait!”
Severus Snape paused mid-step as he prepared to climb the platform to the Hogwarts Express. Glancing around, he managed to identify the face to match the familiar voice. He smiled; at least, he considered it a smile. His lips twisted into an expression that bespoke happiness, confusion, lust and shame all at once. He held out one pale hand, and his lips turned up ever so slightly at the corners.
“Lily,” he breathed, emphasising her name as he helped his best friend ascend the platform. Together they entered the train.
“Oh, it’s been so hectic,” explained Lily Evans breathlessly as she threw her arms around his neck. Noting several onlookers, Severus made a face to indicate how unwanted her passions were, although that did nothing to prevent him from clinging to her in turn, nor from feeling a slight stirring in his groin at her touch. “I’m actually looking forward to getting back to school just to get a rest. N.E.W.T. classes can’t be nearly as time-consuming as taking a summer internship.”
She moved to the side to allow a few other students to pass, and Severus had the opportunity to look at her - really look at her - for the first time in a month. Her normally fair skin had a bit of a bronze glow to it, as though she had spent a significant time out in the sun. Her hair was a few inches longer, falling in a magnificent spill of curls down her back. The Muggle attire she was dressed in - jeans, and a brilliant green shirt that brought out the colour of her eyes - was flattering. Severus felt himself inhale a little too deeply as he looked her over, his heart quickening slightly as he raised his gaze to her face.
“I’ve missed you,” said Lily as Severus led the way to an empty compartment. Giving a gaggle of second years a withering look, Lily closed the door, securing their privacy. “I can’t believe I haven’t seen you since July.”
“You’ve missed nothing by not being home,” Severus assured her drily. He thought, briefly, of his own summer adventures. In her absence, he had remained secluded in his bedroom most of the time. Hours had been spent idly toying with his wand, fervently wishing he was of age and could do something. A few times, he had allowed hope to get the best of him and had wandered around her neighbourhood - never quite daring to ring the doorbell at her house, though he had been there before and knew her parents by name - but Lily had not been out in the yard, or at the old playground where they had met. It had been an exceptionally lonely season, and he was more pleased than he cared to let on about the return to school, to her.
With a gentle sigh, Lily patted his hand. “Nothing sounds heavenly. Having a lie-in every morning, swimming in the Somerset’s pool, going to movies, talking to you - my summer was madness. I’ve given up all ambition of working for the Ministry. If an internship is this overwhelming, I can’t imagine what it’s like actually being employed there.”
At this, Severus nodded gravely. “I would think, given your talents, you could do better than to align yourself with the Ministry. Particularly, it is difficult to imagine someone of your parentage being content there. It is highly unfortunate that our leaders are so archaic.”
Pursing her lips, Lily reluctantly agreed. “There was a lot of prejudice: gossip about whom was descended of whom; a near riot when Flout was nominated for Minister of Magic; proposals for blood-status tests - well, you know,” she broke off with a shrug. “The same talk that circulates in the Slytherin common room.”
Severus inclined his head. Slytherin House had never been a place tolerant to Muggleborn wizards and witches, and he had heard the typical biassed propaganda practically from the moment the Sorting Hat had sent him there. Mostly, he believed it was all codswallop. Lily was one of the brighter witches in their year. He bested her in Defence, but she could outshine him in Transfiguration, and they were equals in Potions. Her Muggle parentage had not lessened her abilities at all. In fact, Severus had noticed that some of his pureblood house mates were not quite up to Lily’s standards. On the other hand, Lucius Malfoy did throw out some particularly challenging statistics, but...Severus shook his head, chasing the thought away.
“They’re fools,” he assured her, and felt his heart skip a beat at her smile.
“So, any summer romance over the summer?” Lily asked teasingly, changing the subject. Although she professed to be used to it, talk of prejudice against her kind always made her uneasy. She could endure the taunts of the most ignorant Slytherin students, but having her employers view her as a lesser being because of her mother and father had been disheartening to say the least.
Severus’ smile disappeared like the sun behind a cloud. “No. Of course not.”
“A shame,” said Lily decidedly. “But I daresay you needn’t worry. You’ll meet someone eventually.” The thought of Sirius Black drifted to mind and Lily felt herself blush awkwardly. She glanced down at her clothes and pretended to remove a speck of lint.
His dark eyes boring into her, Severus regarded Lily sternly. How can you not know? he wanted to ask. How can you not see?
Ever since meeting Lily as a young child, Severus had been infatuated with her. He had dedicated years to learning every detail about her life, no matter how mundane. Truly, he found her far more interesting than any of the preening girls of Slytherin House, or even the clever, cultivated Ravenclaws most of his house mates preferred. She had an enthusiasm that tingled his senses like a Pepper-Up potion, and yet she was nothing like the vapid, bubble Hufflepuffs. Lily had spirit. Personality, beauty, brains, Severus accounted to himself, pursing his lips so they formed a straight line. Out of my reach.
“Oh,” Lily said suddenly, looking embarrassed but delighted.
Severus felt his face burn, wondering if she had somehow acquired the skill of Legilimency and was reading his thoughts. A moment later he realised she was simply looking out the window at Sirius Black, who was blowing kisses at her. Sudden, unspeakable jealousy suffused him, and Severus directed a murderous glare through the glass, but it was too late. Sirius drew back the door and came in.
“Lily!”
Bounding into the small compartment, Sirius rushed over to Lily and scooped her up in a crushing embrace. His face brushed against her neck as he drank in the scent of her perfume. “Mmm, Lil, you smell gorgeous. You look gorgeous,” he added, setting her back down onto her feet, where she straightened up her clothes and looked flustered. “Nice summer?”
“Fairly,” said Lily with a dismissive wave of her hand. “And you?”
Ignoring Severus, Sirius tossed his knapsack onto the bench and squeezed into the seat beside Lily. He kicked up his legs, resting his heavy boots against the windowpane. “Excellent,” he informed her, bursting with excitement. “Mostly I stayed at James’ with that lot.” He gestured through the door where, to Severus’ disgust, James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were huddled. “It was a lucky thing James invited me. Mum and I were at each other’s throats the whole first week. We would’ve had constant rows all summer if I hadn’t gone. Luckily, since then I’ve been shot of the place.”
For the first time, he glanced over at Severus and grinned wildly. “Snivellus,” he crooned, patting Severus roughly on the knee. “Lovely summer, wasn’t it? ‘Course, you might’ve not noticed. It looks like you spent the holidays hiding under a rock.” He swept out his arm grandly, indicating Severus’ customary pallor.
“Place a hand on me again, Black,” Severus spat, “and I’ll break every one of your fingers.”
“Touchy,” remarked Sirius carelessly. He turned back to Lily, ruffling her hair lightly when he noticed the look of dismay and reproached etched on her features. “I ought to join James and Remus,” he said, giving her a brilliant grin. “Come and find our compartment if you get bored,” he went on meaningfully, casting an amused glance at Severus’ face. “Bye, Lily.”
Raising her hand in a wan farewell, Lily watched as Sirius took hold of his luggage (he was none too careful and ended up dropping a heavy box on Severus’ feet and hitting him in the crotch with the knapsack) and made his way out. Then she leaned back against her bench as if all the energy had been sapped from her.
“How can you stand that - that -” Severus began angrily, his words tumbling over themselves due to frustration. He settled on the most available defect of Sirius’ character. “Gryffindor!”
“Excuse me, I’m a Gryffindor as well,” Lily reminded him gently, but she was not upset. Rather, she felt quite sorry for Severus’ mistreatment at Sirius’ hands, plus a little abashed at liking Sirius so much when he was always so cruel to Severus. “Sorry about him. He can be a bit trying at times.”
“A bit?” Severus asked, incredulous. He thought of the way Lily’s eyes had shone when she had looked up at Sirius, and he suddenly wanted to break something. “He’d better stay close to that lot,” he mumbled furiously, “because if I catch him unawares in a deserted hall one dark night, I’ll -”
“Don’t,” advised Lily bracingly. She offered a smile that did not match her mood. “Let’s find something more interesting to talk about than Sirius Black.” Ignoring the slight shiver that went up her spine at his name, she turned her full attention to Severus. “How did you do on the end of term assignments?”
He wanted to rant against Black until the deep well of rage within him was spent, but Severus knew better than to risk Lily’s temper by criticising her friends. It was maddening to him that she could consider the lot of Gryffindor boys her friends at all, especially Sirius and James. Pettigrew was an ignorant buffoon incapable of posing any serious threat, and Lupin was too quiet to draw Severus’ attentions most of the time, but Potter and Black - Severus forced himself to leave off thinking about them, knowing no good would come from it.
Steadily, he raised his gaze and met her eyes. “Adequately,” he decided. “I was finished before the month was out.”
“It took me until August,” said Lily, a tad morose. “There was so little time to study. I was absolutely swamped with work. Owls here, memos there, always having to take tea to Perkins - but you don’t want to hear about that.”
“I don’t mind,” said Severus under his breath. Anything to hear your voice.
She pretended not to hear him, being tired of the subject of the Ministry anyway. “I wonder what Slughorn will start us with in Potions this year.”
“He assigned a number of restricted ingredients,” Severus said, reaching into the pocket of his robes and withdrawing a battered looking parchment list. Having had precious little else to do, he had occupied his August painstakingly completing his start of term shopping. “Did you find everything that you needed for your kit?”
“Owl order,” Lily confirmed. “There wasn’t time to nip about in the stores looking for a handful of black beetle eyes or skeins of unicorn tail strands.”
“You must have found your internship quite overwhelming,” Severus decided. He debated a moment, then went ahead and asked the question that had plagued him all summer. “You were even too busy to write, it seems?”
Glancing up from the list she had been reading, Lily blanched, taking in the pain evident in Severus’ eyes. She bit her lip and cocked her head, surprised, as Severus usually hid his feelings exceptionally well. “I’m -” she began, but she was interrupted by the sudden shrill sound of the train braking and the abrupt escalation in the noise level as students pushed and shoved their way out of the compartments, eager to escape the crowded train.
They had arrived.
Part II
A/N: As any decent fan of the Shoebox Project knows, “Sirius Maturity Black” is in reference to the “Sirius and Remus Maturity Black-Lupin”, from the shoebox_project by LadyJaida and Dorkorific. If you haven’t read the shoebox_project yet, put this one on hold and do so promptly. You’ll be in for a real treat.
Severus lost her in the press of the crowd as a hundred Slytherins, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors collided, all elbowing and shoving, their voices rising with excitement as they met friends and relayed the gossip they had waited all summer to impart. For a moment, he remained in the compartment of the train, gathering up his belongings slowly and hoping fervently that she would come back and walk with him to the horseless carriages. However, when he finally staggered upright under the weight of his trunk and bags, he spotted Lily arm in arm with Sirius.
Gritting his teeth against the anger that swelled within him, he watched as Lily tipped back her head, laughing open-mouthed at some whispered joke of Remus’. I am not jealous, he told himself, wishing it were true. All I wanted was to talk to her, came another plaintive thought unbidden from his subconscious mind.
“Oy, Snape,” called out a Slytherin seventh year that Severus recognised as Mulciber. Severus felt his heart sink as all hope of catching up with Lily faded. Mulciber, a devoted blood purist and a driving force behind the spread of Lord Voldemort’s values within Slytherin house, never passed up an opportunity to catch Severus alone and drill him with questions about his associations with Muggleborns, or to pass on yet another tidbit of anti-Muggle propaganda.
“Mulciber,” Severus greeted with a certain strained civility. He was not one to care a great deal about popularity or even friendship, aside from Lily’s, but he knew the value of tact and had little interest in making enemies within his own House. Potter and Black are enough, he thought glumly as he fell into line with the other boy. “Pleasant journey?”
Mulciber shrugged his massive shoulders. “I should say it was,” he stated, smirking in the direction of a scandalised-looking Ravenclaw who darted through the door, smoothing her skirt across her hips. “I spent it with Flora Hawthorne,” he informed Severus needlessly. “We had quite the enjoyable trip. What about you? Any interesting tales to tell after spending hours locked in a private compartment with Lily Evans?”
“I should think not,” said Severus stanchly. He thought of Lily and sighed.
“Good thinking,” Mulciber confirmed. Conversationally, he sidled up to Severus. “Mudblood, I think, isn’t she?” The word fell easily from his lips.
Severus jerked as if stung at the offensive term. He opened his mouth to say something cruel about Mulciber’s old-fashioned beliefs, but Mulciber had spotted Lily chatting to Remus and Sirius and had decided to comment.
“Ah, she’s going a bit above her station there, I think.”
“How so?” Severus asked slowly, his voice silky and tight with anger.
“Black,” Mulciber pointed out. “Gryffindor, of course, but a pureblood and from a good family. The Blacks have always maintained a high social standing, haven’t they; why, I can’t think of a one who’s married a Mudblood, or even a half-blood. If he’s anything like the lot of them, he’ll have nothing to do with her.”
Severus heard the thud as he dropped hold of his trunk and reached into his pocket for his wand. Logic fled him; all he wanted to do was curse Mulciber to tiny, painful bits. There were so many reasons for it -- the boy’s ignorant blood prejudice, his casual use of the term Mudblood - though mainly Severus was offended by the very idea that Lily would go after Sirius Black. Despite knowing how she felt for the obnoxious Gryffindor, actually hearing his suspicions spoken hurt.
“He’s not,” he commented coldly, gripping his wand tightly in a white-knuckled fist. He followed Mulciber’s gaze and felt himself tremble from combined hatred, fear and envy as he watched Sirius lope across the grass hand-in-hand with Lily, who looked delighted. “He’s nothing like his parents, or Regulus,” he added, mentioning the name of Sirius’ younger brother, a fourth year Slytherin.
“Shame,” shrugged Mulciber. “Still, a pureblood and Mudblood....no, I don’t fancy that arrangement, and I can’t imagine even a Gryffindor turning blood traitor. She’d be better suited for Lupin.”
“That,” remarked Severus haughtily, “I very much doubt.” He narrowed his eyes at the Gryffindor prefect, hating Remus’ earnest, intelligent face. Even marred though he was by scars - Severus could not contemplate how he had earned them, seeing as Remus was never violent, nor prone to clumsiness - Remus was attractive, and the school’s female population tended to admire his pleasant expression and soulful hazel eyes. The scars, Severus was troubled to note, far from blemishing his handsome visage, actually gave the young man character.
Still, better him than Black, the bastard, piped up a voice in Severus’ mind. He turned to direct his glare towards Sirius, who was bent nearly double, howling with hilarity at some ridiculous utterance of Pettigrew’s. There was no denying it; if Remus was attractive, Sirius was divine. His grin was infectious; even Severus noted the way the students passing him were smiling back at Sirius’ hilarity, and a number of them encircled the laughing Gryffindor as if drawn to him by magnetic fields. Severus seethed inwardly, despairing his own appearance compared to Sirius’ easy allure. They shared the same hair colour, but while Severus’ hair was lank, ill-kept and often unwashed, Sirius possessed a glossy mane of blue-black strands that always seemed to fall perfectly in place without the slightest effort. Lily sometimes commented that Severus’ eyes betrayed a certain depth, but Sirius’ were fathomless and sparkling, the colour of storm clouds instead of black.
Scowling at Sirius’ even, white teeth, Severus turned his back on Mulciber, abandoning him on the pretense of exhaustion. It was not entirely a lie. The furious excitement that had been building within him steadily since August was spent. He had secretly scripted a fantasy of the long train ride back to school, complete with witty dialogue to attract Lily’s interest and vague ideas of finally confessing the undying crush he’d had on her since before they had become Hogwarts students. However, the journey had not gone at all the way he’d wanted, and all Severus desired at present was a quick evening meal - the feast was sure to be labourious - and then to seek out his familiar, if not precisely cozy, bed.
_______________
“Remus, be a dear and help me with these first years,” requested Lily when the laughter from Peter’s anecdote finally died down. She frowned at the milling crowd of young students, all of whom seemed confused, bewildered and, in some cases, already homesick. “We ought to get them rounded up and onto the boats before we head out to the castle. The poor dears,” she added as an afterthought, “were we ever that young?”
“Alas,” said Sirius melodramatically. “Where once we were innocent -“
”You were never innocent,” James assured him heartily.
“Was so,” came Sirius’ retort. He stuck his nose in the air, looking haughty. “That is, until I was corrupted by your befouled presence.”
“Remus?” pressed Lily, a little anxious now that a number of the older students had departed on the horseless carriages. “If we don’t hurry -”
“Right away,” Remus confirmed. “First years? First years, this way, please.”
With the help of James, Sirius and Peter, Remus and Lily managed to assemble the first year students into a neat, single-file queue and lead them over to the small, lighted boats that hovered on the water’s still surface. Shoes squelching in the mud at the edge of the lake, Lily bent to help a tearful, straggling first year girl - Hufflepuff for sure, Lily’s inner voice informed her - into the last wobbling boat before stepping back and watching as the little fleet set sail.
“Ready?” inquired Sirius chirpily, slinging his arm around Lily’s shoulders in a gesture of familiarity. Lily felt her heart pound faster at his touch, though Sirius seemed unaware. “Don’t want to be late for the feast. I’m starving!”
Remus snorted. “You’re always starving.”
“I need my nourishment,” Sirius informed him, grinning. “How else will I become a strapping young lad? I’m a growing boy.”
“Yes, and growing madder by the day, Padfoot,” shot back Remus, his own lips spreading into a curious smile. He boarded the carriage and pressed himself alongside Sirius, perhaps a little closer than necessary, though Sirius did not shift nor complain.
Lily, sitting on Sirius’ other side, started when he suddenly grabbed her hand, enclosed it in his own and gave her a meaningful squeeze. For a moment she simply grinned, knowing she likely looked a fool gazing off into the distance with a smile plastered on her lips, yet not caring in the least. She increased the pressure of her own fingers, noting, with pleasure, that spots of colour appeared on Sirius’ face. She’d thought him incapable of blushing, being such an outrageous flirt, and yet, there he was, his eyes glassy and his expression blissful. The carriage took off and the two of them jostled together comfortably, their rocking bodies colliding easily.
It was then that Lily noticed Severus. He was standing on the dirt path that wound from the platform to the school, all alone, waiting for another carriage to come and fetch him. Looking forlorn, clutching his luggage about him, he stared directly at her with such a strong look Lily could feel her face burning. The penetrating stare made her feel secretive, even slightly dirty, and she dropped Sirius’ hand even though she knew Severus could not see.
I should’ve stayed behind and waited with him, she thought, feeling rather ashamed of herself for selecting Sirius’ company instead. I wonder why he’s always by himself. Despite Severus’ fierce intelligence, he had made few friends since starting at Hogwarts, something Lily regretted immensely, since she herself had many and often pitied him his loneliness. Of course, it’s obvious why no one dares strike up conversation with him. The Severus she knew was pleasant and sensitive, a tad proud and extremely stubborn, but also a devoted and loyal friend. However, he kept his personality carefully masked within the school, preferring to drift in ghost-like silence down the halls rather than join in the conversations, and snapping at his fellow students without the least provocation, even though his dedication to the fickle art of potions proclaimed his nature as ultimately patient.
He’s been that way ever since I met him, thought Lily, remembering their first summer together and his complete intolerance for her sister, Petunia. For some reason, Lily alone had been singled out as worthy of Severus’ attentions. Aside from her, he had only a handful of acquaintances, nearly all of them Slytherins who had befriended him in an attempt to bolster their reputations or become privy to his incredible knowledge of Potions and Herbology.
Lily had never witnessed him carrying on a personal conversation with anyone else, aside from the few times Professor Slughorn had forced him to attend the occasional Slug Club party. Severus ate alone in the Great Hall; seated under the Slytherin banner, he generally read texts and ignored the rest of the table during meal times. He studied in a private, dusty nook in the library, or shut himself into unused classrooms to read. When he went outdoors, he shied away from the lake and the Quidditch pitch where the majority of other students lingered, and drifted instead to the edge of the Forbidden Forest where he was unlikely to be disturbed. Whenever he said anything of importance or spared a detail of his private life, it was always, exclusively, to her.
“ - the matter?” came Sirius’s concerned voice, interrupting her moody thoughts.
Shaking her head a little to clear her mind, Lily forced herself to shrug. “Oh, nothing really. Just excited to be back here, that’s all. With you lot,” she added, watching Remus offer a rare untroubled smile. Out of the corner of her eye she watched Severus - now just a small, dark figure in the distance - set off walking down the path, dragging his belongings with him. No carriage had come to fetch him, it seemed.
“Yeah, me too,” agreed Sirius. “Sixth years, almost top of the heap.” He followed Lily’s gaze, wondering what was occupying her attention when she should be looking at him. Then he spotted Severus, who was looking dusty, sweaty and ready to curse everything in sight. He jabbed James in the elbow. “Look,” he hissed, pointing, a wicked smile appearing on his face. “Snivellus.”
“Oh, don’t,” said Lily gently when she saw Sirius go for his wand. Biting her bottom lip, she touched his hand, trying to distract him. “He hasn’t done anything to you. Leave him be.” Turning to James, she issued a similar plea. “It’s not even officially the start of term yet. Let it go.”
James shook his head, skilfully mussing his dark hair so that it stood up at awkward, windblown angles and gave the appearance of having endured a tornado. Studiously, he resettled his glasses on his nose, twirling his own wand through his fingers. “You know what they say about an opportunity wasted....”
“Lily’s right. Let him alone,” offered Remus in a tiny, flat voice. He looked around a moment, as if startled by the sound of himself speaking. Then, resigned to the fact that no one would listen, he reached into his pocket and withdrew a book on Transfiguration he had been reading on the train. A small part of his conscience nudged him. He was prefect after all, and if any of the other students were being bullied it was up to him to stop it, even if it was his closest friends doing the tormenting, with his least favourite classmate as their victim. However, he’d been prefect over a year and had never once been able to make a dent in his friends’ behaviour, despite numerous attempts to get them to shape up.
“No fun,” mourned Sirius melodramatically, giving Remus a playful shove that was just a tad too hard. The other boy looked wounded for a moment, then brightened a bit when Sirius cuffed him around the head. “Besides, it’s only Snivellus. No harm, no foul.”
“Not true,” corrected Lily sternly, still worrying her lip. “Just because you’ve never gotten on with him doesn’t mean he hasn’t got feelings.”
“But he deserves it, Lily,” Sirius said. “The Slytherin git,” he added for good measure. “Besides, last year he started it. He hit James with the Jelly Legs Jinx on the second day, in Charms, for absolutely no reason at all.” He rearranged his features in an imitation of innocence, blinking widened eyes. “You know as well as I do that he’ll curse us first opportunity he gets. I just want to beat him to the punch this time. Anyway, it’s not like I’m using an Unforgivable Curse on him - not that I’d mind, particularly, but I’d rather not end up in Azkaban on his behalf.” Noting Lily’s shocked face, he held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I won’t hex him from here until next Friday, at least until dinner’s over. I don’t want to miss the feast.”
“Thank you,” said Lily, with feeling.
Sirius nodded. “Well, don’t expect the truce to last any longer than it takes to bump into him in an abandoned corridor. That’s just the way he is, Lil,” he went on as Lily gave him a pained look. “He’s Slytherin,” he pointed out reasonably. “He’s obsessed with the Dark Arts and would sooner curse somebody that look at them. What do you see in him, anyway?”
“He was the first wizard I ever met,” Lily replied. She did not expect Sirius to understand; she’d said it all before in an attempt to make it clear that she intended to remain friends with Severus, though to no avail. Her friends just avoided cursing him when she was watching; sometimes, not even then. The Gryffindors were determined to hate Severus, whatever her affiliation with him. “I’ll admit he can be trying at times,” - Sirius made a sceptical noise in his throat, but did not interrupt - “but underneath all that hostility, he is really a decent person. I should know, shouldn’t I? I’ve been friends with him longer than anyone.”
Sirius scoffed. “You’re his only friend. Tells you a bit about his personality, doesn’t it, the fact that no one else has taken to him in all this time?”
“You’re right, I’m all he has. All the more reason why I can’t stand by and watch you pick on him,” Lily reminded him primly. “Anyway, we’re sixth years now.” She smiled, cheered by the thought and her own hope for a pleasant year. She scooted a little closer to Sirius and leaned her head on his shoulder. Her hand resting on Sirius’ thigh, she looked up at him meaningfully. “I assume this means we’re a tad more mature.”
Sirius’ grin was bright enough to light up a room. Sirius, old boy, I think you’ve finally won her over, he thought, and was immensely pleased with himself. He had spent the better part of two years getting to know Lily Evans. Upon first meeting, his expectations for her hadn’t been high. She had shown up in the train compartment with Snivellus and had snapped at both him and James without cause. However, he’d known she would turn out all right from the moment she was sorted into Gryffindor, and his prediction had been correct. Lily was sweet, smart and sexy, everything Sirius wanted in a girl. And she likes me, he thought. Me!
He reached for her hand again, making a bit of a show about it, and intertwined his fingers with hers.
“All right, Lily. Have it your way. From now on I’m Sirius Maturity Black, at your service.” Playfully, he leaned in close, briefly smacking his lips against her cheek. He noted her shudder and smiled to himself before engaging her in a more relevant conversation about Quidditch teams. Pretty soon the discussion turned to debate as James and Peter piped up about their favourite players and guessed about who would be encouraged to try out for the Gryffindor team now that Sykes and Wood were finished with school, and all thoughts of Severus fled Lily’s mind.
Part III
“Not many of your classmates can emulate your hard work and diligence,” said Professor Slughorn as he paraded through the maze of desks, tables and cauldrons that lined his classroom. “Studying Potions at the Ordinary Wizarding Level requires patience and dedication - which all of you possess in spades, I might add - but N.E.W.T. level pursuit of the subject, well, that’s an entirely different dragon to slay.” He beamed at his students, of which there were only a handful. “I daresay every one of you will be successful in your studies. You all possess extraordinary talent, of which your friends are rightly jealous. Now, shall we begin? Books out, page one forty-four. Amortentia!”
Shrugging his knapsack from his shoulder, Severus pawed around in its dark depths, finally locating his Potions book among the texts assembled for his classes. Unlike the majority of N.E.W.T. students, he had arranged his schedule to include just as many courses as he had studied for the O.W.L.s, which gave him precious little free time. Not that I’ve ever had use for it, he reminded himself with a flash of bitterness. Severus had never been one to devote himself to lying under trees chatting idly about the latest student coupling or flying broomsticks around the Astronomy Tower with a gaggle of onlookers cheering him. During free periods, he was preoccupied with study, assigned or not.
“Partners?” Lily asked unnecessarily as the other students began pairing themselves off.
“Of course,” Severus said in reply, feeling a bit more eager about the assignment as Lily shifted her seat a bit closer to him, her elbow resting on his desk. He kept his smile hidden as he ducked into his bag again, removing his carefully packaged Potions ingredients. “We can use my kit if you like, and save yours until mine runs out. It’ll prevent anything from going stale.”
Lily nodded. “Good thinking.” She tapped her bottom lip with her index finger while she read the description of the potion they would be brewing. “Love potion?” she remarked, a bit surprised. “I thought those were banned at Hogwarts.”
“Only if one actually intends on using it,” came Severus’ reply. “Perfectly legal to brew, though, particularly in an advanced Potions class. Besides,” he continued, thinking of the numerous cases of spontaneous affection that had occurred during his past five years at school, “when have the rules against love elixirs ever been enforced?”
“Too right,” conceded Lily. “Every year, some poor fellow ends up smitten with the least popular girl in Hufflepuff, and I’ve never once seen the Headmaster take action against it. Well, all in good fun, I suppose. Most of them are too weak to do anything more than inspire a crush, and it fades within a few days anyway. I suppose no one worries about the effects, considering they are so brief and mild.”
Having read about Amortentia, Severus knew better. “Not this one,” he explained, tapping the page. “Amortentia is the strongest love potion known to wizard-kind. Of course, it can’t really inspire love, it can only create a pale imitation, derived from obsession, lust - well, you know,” he broke off awkwardly as Lily smirked.
“You know an awful lot about it,” she remarked casually, using her wand to light a fire in the grate beneath their shared cauldron. She was impressed by his knowledge. Lily considered herself a dedicated student, going above and beyond the requirements of her courses to gain a real understanding of the subjects, but Severus was like an encyclopaedia, especially when it came to potions.
“Not really,” he said quickly. He wondered at the knowing look in her eyes. “I’ve only read about it. I’d never dream of using it.”
“Of course not,” agreed Lily, airily waving her hand as though to dismiss the very idea. “What would you need it for? You’re brilliant, intellectual - you could have any girl you wanted, if you bothered to speak to any of them in civil tones.”
“I speak to the ones that interest me,” Severus said pointedly. “Lily, I -”
He was interrupted by the sudden appearance of Slughorn, who had waddled down their aisle and was looking expectant.
“Is everything clear?” he asked his two favourite students.
“Yes,” Lily piped up, eager as always to impress the instructor. Although Potions was a subject that came naturally to her, she had always felt the need to work harder than the rest of the class, as though to prove to her slightly prejudiced professor that she was just as skilled as the purebloods he taught. She ran a finger down the page of her book, consulting the list of ingredients. The potion was quite complicated, though not the most difficult recipe she had ever encountered in her research. She and Severus had managed a number of advanced concoctions during their independent study. “We need belladonna, Severus, do you have any?”
Soon they were thoroughly engaged in their work, Severus carefully chopping up springs of thyme and Lily stirring the simmering cauldron. Comfortably, they reached across each other for various ingredients and pored over the book together, guessing at ways to improve the quality of their finished product.
When they were finally done, Severus sighed at length; from pleasure rather than resignation. Working side by side with Lily, with their easy camaraderie and mutual interest in the subject, made Potions his favourite subject, and he normally felt relaxed at the end of a difficult brewing session, suffused with a sense of pride and satisfaction at their accomplishments. It was even nicer now that they were sixth years; only one of the Gryffindor boys - Sirius - had opted to continue on with the subject, though Severus had heard from Lily that James had earned an O on his Potions O.W.L. and he could guess Lupin had at least made an E.
At least this year will be free of melted cauldrons and unforeseen explosions, he thought ruefully, remembering the chaos of previous years when, bored, James had made it his goal to destroy a number of Severus’ potions by tossing unstable ingredients into the mix. Seeing his hard work reduced to naught had always infuriated Severus, particularly when Lily was witness to it, and he was glad Potter was not around to throw fireworks in his cauldron or curse him with the Confundus behind Slughorn’s back. Black was studying potions at the N.E.W.T. level too, but Severus hoped the absence of his friends would keep Sirius in line.
“That went well, didn’t it?” said Lily cheerfully as she bottled up a sample of their brew for Slughorn to mark. She watched as the other students brought their own results to the professor’s desk. “I wonder what he’ll do with it all.” She smiled. “You don’t suppose he’s nursing a crush on McGonagall or something, do you?”
“I very much doubt that,” Severus corrected her softly, though the corners of his mouth turned up in imitation of a smile at the idea. “Besides, I don’t suppose he’d trust student brews. N.E.W.T. or not, we’ve scarcely proven ourselves sufficient with this potion.”
Though, I am certain ours is perfect, he thought to himself with satisfaction, the proper pearly sheen, the consistency of milk, the spirals of steam. Amortentia; flawless, tasteless, virtually undetectable in a glass of pumpkin juice or a cup of tea....
The idea came to his with a sudden flash of inspiration. He looked over at Lily, who was collecting their supplies and clearing the table, paying him not the slightest heed. Her red hair shone in the reflected light of the cauldron fire. I want her, piped up a voice in the back of his head. The voice was shadowy, filled with lust and need and unspoken desire. But it’s Sirius she wants. We’ve been close for ages, and still it’s been him she’s fawned over since third year. She’ll never see me as anything more than a friend, unless -
His eyes shone as he glanced at Lily and she smiled back, unaware of the dark thoughts going through his mind. Discreetly, Severus picked up one of the slim phials that held the remainder of their potion and held it up to the light, remarking at the correct colour and substance of the Amortentia he had helped create. Slughorn would not notice if a small sample went missing, he knew, for the man only graded one phial per group, and locked the rest away in the cupboard in his office, perhaps for later use, or maybe just posterity. I’d never actually use it, of course, Severus informed himself sternly even as his heart began to pound with anticipation and anxiety. It’s illegal. It would be expulsion for sure if anyone found out. Anyway, she deserves better than something so underhanded, mischievous. It’s something Black would do.
“Ready? I’ve got some free time before lunch if you want to study together,” offered Lily. “You don’t have anything until Arithmancy, do you? And I haven’t got anything to do until Charms.”
“The library?” Severus questioned, closing his fingers over the Amortentia vial so she could not see. His lips curled into a sneer at the thought of his fellow students, who were rushing out to listen to the Quidditch scores on the wireless or chatter amongst themselves about the gorgeous new Muggle Studies teacher. “It’s sure to be abandoned.”
“Right you are,” agreed Lily, somewhat more accepting of the fact that few others dedicated themselves to intensely to their schoolwork. She smiled at Severus’ look of contempt as Nott pushed his way past them, hurrying out to the pitch for Quidditch practise. She held out her arm teasingly, and grinned when Severus took it.
Clutching her, Severus felt a rush of pleasure echo through him. He could feel the heat of her body through their robes, and shivered a little. Cautiously glancing over his shoulder to make sure he was not observed, Severus slipped the phial of Amortentia into the pocket of his billowing robes and led her out of the classroom, his mind buzzing with a thousand questions, good and evil battling for supremacy in his thoughts.