Ugh...
I really need to devote more time to my psychology classes. It's just difficult because I have no desire to use my psychology degree once I've got it. I know that I want to work in film, either as an editor, tech grunt, or...well anything really.
And it's not like I just changed my mind on a whim. I was really set to go to graduate school and work as an adolescent therapist. One big problem with that: I wanted to work with kids and they are like little germ factories. I had a nice psych-oriented job last year (working with people with developmental disabilities in a home setting), and my doctor made me quit that job pretty fast. So I had to do some deep introspection and ask myself if I could pursue psychology in another capacity (research...yuck), or if I'd go back to what I know I'm talented at and something that I could sit in a room alone with a computer and no one coughing on me. I chose to go back into film. Unfortunately, I'm too far along to change my major, so now I'm stuck in all of these ridiculously time consuming upper-level psychology classes when all I want to do is work on my film and theater projects.
I've never had to do the end-of-semester calculating, wondering if I can pass a class if I bust my ass in the final weeks. I've always been at the top of every class. I don't like being at the bottom of the score distribution, it's embarrassing and I'm smarter than that. But here I am, cramming, trying to get A's on all of my finals so I don't have to take these classes again.
I know that this is all my fault. Early on in school I switched from media arts to psychology because I wanted to prove that I was smarter than "the arts". Now I realize I'd rather be perceived as talented, I know I'm smart, I'm proud of my talents. This is the price I pay for vanity, I suppose.
Alright, now that I've sufficiently whined my face off, I have to go get ready for my show. It's going REALLY well. I even got mentioned in the Albuquerque Journal for my sound design!!! Yay!
And it's not like I just changed my mind on a whim. I was really set to go to graduate school and work as an adolescent therapist. One big problem with that: I wanted to work with kids and they are like little germ factories. I had a nice psych-oriented job last year (working with people with developmental disabilities in a home setting), and my doctor made me quit that job pretty fast. So I had to do some deep introspection and ask myself if I could pursue psychology in another capacity (research...yuck), or if I'd go back to what I know I'm talented at and something that I could sit in a room alone with a computer and no one coughing on me. I chose to go back into film. Unfortunately, I'm too far along to change my major, so now I'm stuck in all of these ridiculously time consuming upper-level psychology classes when all I want to do is work on my film and theater projects.
I've never had to do the end-of-semester calculating, wondering if I can pass a class if I bust my ass in the final weeks. I've always been at the top of every class. I don't like being at the bottom of the score distribution, it's embarrassing and I'm smarter than that. But here I am, cramming, trying to get A's on all of my finals so I don't have to take these classes again.
I know that this is all my fault. Early on in school I switched from media arts to psychology because I wanted to prove that I was smarter than "the arts". Now I realize I'd rather be perceived as talented, I know I'm smart, I'm proud of my talents. This is the price I pay for vanity, I suppose.
Alright, now that I've sufficiently whined my face off, I have to go get ready for my show. It's going REALLY well. I even got mentioned in the Albuquerque Journal for my sound design!!! Yay!