Here is a real post
I've been doing really okay these past few weeks.
I decided that I can't wait around for the moment I suddenly start feeling better. I have to get up, and motivate myself to do the things I want in life. It amazes me every single day just how much your attitude toward life can change everything. I want to live, because it's a gift. I want to succeed, because I know I can. It's as simple as that. All the things I don't want to do, or knock me down, or make me feel like life isn't worth living...Those are all in my head. At the end of the day, it's up to me to make what I want out of life into a reality.
Here is A List Of Things That Make Me Happy and Give Me Hope and Get Me Excited For Life:
1 I found a support group on campus for mood swings, and I'm really excited to go. I happened to see a poster for it the other day and decided to go...so I'll see what it's all about on Wednesday. From what I read on the poster, I should be learning about the warning signs of depression and how to cope with it and how to identify and manage my moods better. I really need this. There are also support groups for anxiety, and interpersonal processing. I might be interested in these as well.
2 On a whim, I decided to go to an open dance audition. I haven't danced in a studio setting since I graduated high school, which is about 300 years in the world of dance. I was nervous and didn't think I would make it into any of the pieces, but I was chosen by three different choreographers. I had my first rehearsal last night, and it felt so good to reconnect with that part of myself. Dancing is something that I have missed so much I could feel a physical ache in my chest when I thought about it. I'm happy I went to the audition despite my fears. Maybe this will give me more confidence in my abilities.
3 I have a boyfriend, and I'm at a point where I'm okay with it and okay with people knowing. I'm really weird and private about relationships and we're both uncelebrities on campus, so I had an issue with this for a while. By uncelebrity, I mean we've both been around for a while and people in our world know who we are. Also, a lot of girls on campus inexplicably want his dick. I don't really understand it, but that's Greek life. Groupies are everywhere.
4 I'm inactive. No one who reads this is involved with Greek life, so I'll explain. You can either be active or inactive within your respective chapter on campus. I've been active since I crossed (er, initiated). This means I was required to attend at least 75% of all meetings, events and activities, paid chapter dues every semester, and generally hated life. Don't get me wrong, I love being in a sorority and do not regret joining. But I've also been overwhelmed and had to deal with a lot more stress than I would were I not as involved. I've always been against going inactive, but last semester convinced me otherwise. I'm still involved with my chapter, just without all the stress and drama.
5 I downgraded to just 9 credits for the semester. I was undecided about this, and I didn't know if it would be a good idea or not. I'm already behind and taking just three classes seemed counterproductive to me. It's actually probably the best decision I've made for myself in a while. I feel like I can actually handle my life for the first time in...years. It's given me a way to step back, evaluate and make changes to the way I approach school. I feel good. This feels good.
6 I finally feel like I know where I'm going with life. I've changed my major more times than I can count (which may or may not be a result of the issues I have with my mental health), and now I'm right back where I started. I'm feeling more and more sure about this everyday, rather than full of conviction that slowly fades as time passes. This will last.
There are a few other things, but I'm kind of losing steam with this post. I lost interest about halfway through, haha. See ya.
I decided that I can't wait around for the moment I suddenly start feeling better. I have to get up, and motivate myself to do the things I want in life. It amazes me every single day just how much your attitude toward life can change everything. I want to live, because it's a gift. I want to succeed, because I know I can. It's as simple as that. All the things I don't want to do, or knock me down, or make me feel like life isn't worth living...Those are all in my head. At the end of the day, it's up to me to make what I want out of life into a reality.
Here is A List Of Things That Make Me Happy and Give Me Hope and Get Me Excited For Life:
1 I found a support group on campus for mood swings, and I'm really excited to go. I happened to see a poster for it the other day and decided to go...so I'll see what it's all about on Wednesday. From what I read on the poster, I should be learning about the warning signs of depression and how to cope with it and how to identify and manage my moods better. I really need this. There are also support groups for anxiety, and interpersonal processing. I might be interested in these as well.
2 On a whim, I decided to go to an open dance audition. I haven't danced in a studio setting since I graduated high school, which is about 300 years in the world of dance. I was nervous and didn't think I would make it into any of the pieces, but I was chosen by three different choreographers. I had my first rehearsal last night, and it felt so good to reconnect with that part of myself. Dancing is something that I have missed so much I could feel a physical ache in my chest when I thought about it. I'm happy I went to the audition despite my fears. Maybe this will give me more confidence in my abilities.
3 I have a boyfriend, and I'm at a point where I'm okay with it and okay with people knowing. I'm really weird and private about relationships and we're both uncelebrities on campus, so I had an issue with this for a while. By uncelebrity, I mean we've both been around for a while and people in our world know who we are. Also, a lot of girls on campus inexplicably want his dick. I don't really understand it, but that's Greek life. Groupies are everywhere.
4 I'm inactive. No one who reads this is involved with Greek life, so I'll explain. You can either be active or inactive within your respective chapter on campus. I've been active since I crossed (er, initiated). This means I was required to attend at least 75% of all meetings, events and activities, paid chapter dues every semester, and generally hated life. Don't get me wrong, I love being in a sorority and do not regret joining. But I've also been overwhelmed and had to deal with a lot more stress than I would were I not as involved. I've always been against going inactive, but last semester convinced me otherwise. I'm still involved with my chapter, just without all the stress and drama.
5 I downgraded to just 9 credits for the semester. I was undecided about this, and I didn't know if it would be a good idea or not. I'm already behind and taking just three classes seemed counterproductive to me. It's actually probably the best decision I've made for myself in a while. I feel like I can actually handle my life for the first time in...years. It's given me a way to step back, evaluate and make changes to the way I approach school. I feel good. This feels good.
6 I finally feel like I know where I'm going with life. I've changed my major more times than I can count (which may or may not be a result of the issues I have with my mental health), and now I'm right back where I started. I'm feeling more and more sure about this everyday, rather than full of conviction that slowly fades as time passes. This will last.
There are a few other things, but I'm kind of losing steam with this post. I lost interest about halfway through, haha. See ya.