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Hey everyone~
No update past week ne. Yeah, it's a bit hard to update because I have to do it while I'm at work, and past week I was really busy at work. No it's not an excuse hahaha ^^; Gomen ne.
I had some troubles this past weekend, due to something I bought and it didn't work. I had to ask for my money back and... geez don't even want to remember how hard it was to actually get it back. And the things I had to hear. And THAT because it was a RIGHT of mine! Some things are just too much absurd. Well, now3 I have my money back and guess whaaaaat~
I just CAN'T BELIEVE it's out to pre-order!!! Check this out:
My self X-Mas gift!!!! I've been waiting ALL ALONG for this DVD to come and it came in the perfect time for me to buy it! I already asked for my friend's credit card and she said ok, so YEAH!!!!!! OMGGGG OMGG *dies* I just CAN'T WAIT! Along with this, I'm also getting Changmin's concert shirt or whatever it's called. That one they wore in their concert. It's been a long time I want to buy it and now it's the time! I'm so HAPPY!!!!
I'm also planning to get some of the YJE goodies, specially the bag wihich says 'YunJae anyone?" HAHAHAHA It's so awesome! I SO want that. ^___^
So, I'm kinda stuck with my fic's 9th chapter. Yeah 9th. It's just that I handwrite the fanfic on a little notebook I have, because this way I can write anywhere, anytime I want ^^ Look forward to it! hahaha
But, out of the blue, I just wrote one Mitsu x Nishi drabble! I've missed them so much these times..... my so beloved couple. I'm celebrating two years of love, devotion and full support. I'm so happy, because I know I'm the first person in the world to support them. How can I know that? I just know. I feel it. After me, many came, but I'm the first to show it to everyone that I love this couple with all my heart mind soul and strength. I'm promising to be their bridesmaid when they marry. But I think they're a bit far from marrying each other yet. haha They're not like JaeHo, specially Nishi, who I'm sure wants to keep only dating for who knows how long yet.
Anyway. I wrote it directly in english last sunday night. And it's.... pretty good, I think. I even posted at Winglin hahaha! I wonder if there's ANY AAA fanfic at Winglin! I seriously don't think so lol So, I'm obviously going to post it here too, and guess what, I'm gonna post it at the AAA Slash Comm too. It's a good start, don't you think? Now that I'm finally capable of writing.... ^^ there will be more!
So, if there's anyone interested.... here it goes:
Autumn Breeze
Autumn breeze. Not chill yet, but indeed colder. It makes me cold, but I don’t care. I stay at the balcony staring blankly at the horizon before my eyes. It’s night but the city is so alive, from what I can see. The neon lights, lights that never fade. Before the winter comes, no one must feel cold. But I do.
I wonder if you do too.
But I guess not. I don’t know where you are; what I know is that you might be having fun somewhere. I would be also having fun if only I could. But no, how can I have fun when the only thing I want is to be with you? Be with you... again?
Will it ever happen again? Will I ever get the chance to hold you again? Will I ever feel the taste of your lips again? Will I? Will I ever be... happy again?
The night sky says nothing to me. The lights neither. I guess nothing can give me the those answers, only you, Nishi. Only you can give or take the hope from me. Because I do hope that we will be together again, someday, no matter how far this day might be, but I’ll wait. In fact, that’s all I can do. Wait for you.
I hear the door of our hotel room being opened, and then closed. Something makes me shiver. Would it be the autumn breeze? Or the fact that you just entered our room?
I hear your footsteps through the room. I can’t turn myself to greet you. To smile at you. I can’t even look at you. It’s not that it hurts so much, but it’s just that I’m afraid it will. I only look at you in the safety of others’ presence. When we’re alone, or rather saying, when we ever happen to be alone because that’s something that rarely happens nowadays, I do not dare looking at you. You’re too tempting Nishi, and you know that. And I love you so much Nishi, wondering if you know that too. Maybe I didn’t show it enough times to you when we were together. I should have done every possible thing to let you more than aware of my love for you. Is it already too late for me to try again?
“Dacchan? Are you here?”
Oh God. May I jump off the building now? My eyes go wide and my heart starts pounding painfully. Damn it, I can’t even speak in fright.
Then I hear the glass that separates the balcony from the room sliding, and I know you’re here right behind me. If I was cold just minutes ago, now I’m literally frozen.
“Oh, you’re here.” You say casually. I know I should at least try to speak to you but how? Ok Mitsuhiro, I know you can, just do it.
“Yes, I’m here.” That was a good start, I guess, although I sounded way too... weak.
“Why are you here alone? Didn’t Shuta call you to go at the restaurant with him and the guys?” you say, now standing next to me. I’m still frozen, and my mouth is the only thing I can - barely - move.
“Yes he did.” “And why did you not go?” “Because... I’m cold.”
I feel your eyes landing on me, their silent questioning is almost tangible. But I won’t explain it to you Nishi, sorry. “And you, why did you not go?” I asked out of curiosity, or maybe because I wanted to prevent myself from being asked about my previous answer.
“Because I’m cold too.” You say curtly. Your eyes are now gazing at the same horizon I’ve been contemplating here before you came.
So, you’re cold afterall.
“I thought that maybe I would find some warmth here in our room. But if you say you’re cold too, then I guess I’ll have to look for it somewhere else.”
There was nothing I could do now other than finally look at you, and find you looking back at me with firm eyes. I know your eyes so well. They can speak so many languages and I can understand them all, but they still amaze me. Just like you amaze me everytime you say things like what you’ve just said.
“There’s always a blanket that can give you some warmth Nishi.” I say unfalteringly. I’ve got some pride, you see.
“You’re right.” You simply state, with as much pride as me. We’re both so stubborn aren’t we?
The horizon is now watched again by these two stubborn people. But not for too long before you say again, with a hint of what have really brought you here, “But you know what, Mitsu? Blankets cannot hold me tight. Blankets cannot whisper sweet things into my ears. Blankets cannot kiss me good night.”
I can’t believe it Nishi. I refuse to let myself believe what I think you’re trying to tell me. I won’t even look at you.
“Look at me Mitsu.”
I won’t.
“Mitsu” you step closer. Don’t do that Nishi, I don’t know how much longer I can control myself. Stay away... “Mitsu, don’t let me go away again... we both know how wrong it is to keep us apart like this...”
What?! What??! Did I just hear what I think I did? How...
“How can you say this when you’re the one who ditched me to begin with!?” I demand staring almost furiously into your eyes. Your eyes are slowly brimming with tears. Do you feel the pain now, Nishi? Only now?
“I know Mitsu! I know! That’s why I’m here! Asking you to never ever let me do this again!!”
I laugh. Yeah, a stark disbelieving laugh.
“That’s because you know you’ll always do it again and again, won’t you? You’ll always leave me, won’t you? No matter how much love I show you... I can drown you into love and still, I’ll be left alone like always.”
“I-I...” You stutter. That’s just enough.
“You know, Nishi... not even knowing this can manage to kill my hope. I still hope we can be together someday.”
“Let this day be today, Mitsu... I’m here, I’m asking you for a chance, don’t think of the future...”
“You’re so selfish... you don’t want me to think of the day I’ll see myself alone again, because that’s what’s gonna happen. I can wait until you make your final decision.”
“I’ve already made it Mitsuhiro.” You step closer and now I can feel the cold aura that involves your body. Even your breath seems cold. Can I believe you? Can I? “All I want, all I ever wanted... is you...”
The autumn breeze blows lightly. It makes one tear to roll down from your eyes. I’m watching you so closely that I can see the trail that the warm tear leaves on the cold skin of your face. Then my eyes are suddenly glued to your parted lips, and as you whisper I can read them as well as I can read your eyes, “Make me warm Mitsu, make me yours...”
How am I supposed to deny you... how am I supposed to resist you...
We are so close now that our coldness blend together. You are boldly offering your lips to me. You are always so tempting. You are always so defiant. You are always so deliciously you.
The autumn breeze blows gently again before there’s no more distance between your lips and mine. Our bodies make contact. Our kiss is so filled with fear. Fear that when it ends we’ll be apart again. Fear that you can’t keep up with your decision. Fear that I can’t have you again only for myself. I can’t ignore the wonderful feeling that floods my heart as we kiss, tho. You are the only thing capable of bringing happiness inside of me.
You catch my hands on yours, and entangle your fingers with mine. The coldness starts to disappear. Not the autumn breeze, still there, tenderly sweeping our faces every once in a while.
That’s when the kiss ends.
“Mitsu...” Your voice could be easily mixed up with the wind, “I love you, I love you more than you can imagine, more than I’ll ever be capable of show to you, but I do, you’re the only one for me and will always be...”
I sigh. I don’t know why but I only sigh. I feel you opening your eyes, and then I do the same. Your expression shows me so many things... I know you’re being true, Nishi. I honestly know it. But for how long?
Still holding my hands, you pull away. I look at you, waiting for your next step, which soon comes.
“You already made me warm. Now make me yours.”
I will. Once for all. Forever.
~~
If you read, please comment! <3
No update past week ne. Yeah, it's a bit hard to update because I have to do it while I'm at work, and past week I was really busy at work. No it's not an excuse hahaha ^^; Gomen ne.
I had some troubles this past weekend, due to something I bought and it didn't work. I had to ask for my money back and... geez don't even want to remember how hard it was to actually get it back. And the things I had to hear. And THAT because it was a RIGHT of mine! Some things are just too much absurd. Well, now3 I have my money back and guess whaaaaat~
I just CAN'T BELIEVE it's out to pre-order!!! Check this out:
My self X-Mas gift!!!! I've been waiting ALL ALONG for this DVD to come and it came in the perfect time for me to buy it! I already asked for my friend's credit card and she said ok, so YEAH!!!!!! OMGGGG OMGG *dies* I just CAN'T WAIT! Along with this, I'm also getting Changmin's concert shirt or whatever it's called. That one they wore in their concert. It's been a long time I want to buy it and now it's the time! I'm so HAPPY!!!!
I'm also planning to get some of the YJE goodies, specially the bag wihich says 'YunJae anyone?" HAHAHAHA It's so awesome! I SO want that. ^___^
So, I'm kinda stuck with my fic's 9th chapter. Yeah 9th. It's just that I handwrite the fanfic on a little notebook I have, because this way I can write anywhere, anytime I want ^^ Look forward to it! hahaha
But, out of the blue, I just wrote one Mitsu x Nishi drabble! I've missed them so much these times..... my so beloved couple. I'm celebrating two years of love, devotion and full support. I'm so happy, because I know I'm the first person in the world to support them. How can I know that? I just know. I feel it. After me, many came, but I'm the first to show it to everyone that I love this couple with all my heart mind soul and strength. I'm promising to be their bridesmaid when they marry. But I think they're a bit far from marrying each other yet. haha They're not like JaeHo, specially Nishi, who I'm sure wants to keep only dating for who knows how long yet.
Anyway. I wrote it directly in english last sunday night. And it's.... pretty good, I think. I even posted at Winglin hahaha! I wonder if there's ANY AAA fanfic at Winglin! I seriously don't think so lol So, I'm obviously going to post it here too, and guess what, I'm gonna post it at the AAA Slash Comm too. It's a good start, don't you think? Now that I'm finally capable of writing.... ^^ there will be more!
So, if there's anyone interested.... here it goes:
Autumn Breeze
Autumn breeze. Not chill yet, but indeed colder. It makes me cold, but I don’t care. I stay at the balcony staring blankly at the horizon before my eyes. It’s night but the city is so alive, from what I can see. The neon lights, lights that never fade. Before the winter comes, no one must feel cold. But I do.
I wonder if you do too.
But I guess not. I don’t know where you are; what I know is that you might be having fun somewhere. I would be also having fun if only I could. But no, how can I have fun when the only thing I want is to be with you? Be with you... again?
Will it ever happen again? Will I ever get the chance to hold you again? Will I ever feel the taste of your lips again? Will I? Will I ever be... happy again?
The night sky says nothing to me. The lights neither. I guess nothing can give me the those answers, only you, Nishi. Only you can give or take the hope from me. Because I do hope that we will be together again, someday, no matter how far this day might be, but I’ll wait. In fact, that’s all I can do. Wait for you.
I hear the door of our hotel room being opened, and then closed. Something makes me shiver. Would it be the autumn breeze? Or the fact that you just entered our room?
I hear your footsteps through the room. I can’t turn myself to greet you. To smile at you. I can’t even look at you. It’s not that it hurts so much, but it’s just that I’m afraid it will. I only look at you in the safety of others’ presence. When we’re alone, or rather saying, when we ever happen to be alone because that’s something that rarely happens nowadays, I do not dare looking at you. You’re too tempting Nishi, and you know that. And I love you so much Nishi, wondering if you know that too. Maybe I didn’t show it enough times to you when we were together. I should have done every possible thing to let you more than aware of my love for you. Is it already too late for me to try again?
“Dacchan? Are you here?”
Oh God. May I jump off the building now? My eyes go wide and my heart starts pounding painfully. Damn it, I can’t even speak in fright.
Then I hear the glass that separates the balcony from the room sliding, and I know you’re here right behind me. If I was cold just minutes ago, now I’m literally frozen.
“Oh, you’re here.” You say casually. I know I should at least try to speak to you but how? Ok Mitsuhiro, I know you can, just do it.
“Yes, I’m here.” That was a good start, I guess, although I sounded way too... weak.
“Why are you here alone? Didn’t Shuta call you to go at the restaurant with him and the guys?” you say, now standing next to me. I’m still frozen, and my mouth is the only thing I can - barely - move.
“Yes he did.” “And why did you not go?” “Because... I’m cold.”
I feel your eyes landing on me, their silent questioning is almost tangible. But I won’t explain it to you Nishi, sorry. “And you, why did you not go?” I asked out of curiosity, or maybe because I wanted to prevent myself from being asked about my previous answer.
“Because I’m cold too.” You say curtly. Your eyes are now gazing at the same horizon I’ve been contemplating here before you came.
So, you’re cold afterall.
“I thought that maybe I would find some warmth here in our room. But if you say you’re cold too, then I guess I’ll have to look for it somewhere else.”
There was nothing I could do now other than finally look at you, and find you looking back at me with firm eyes. I know your eyes so well. They can speak so many languages and I can understand them all, but they still amaze me. Just like you amaze me everytime you say things like what you’ve just said.
“There’s always a blanket that can give you some warmth Nishi.” I say unfalteringly. I’ve got some pride, you see.
“You’re right.” You simply state, with as much pride as me. We’re both so stubborn aren’t we?
The horizon is now watched again by these two stubborn people. But not for too long before you say again, with a hint of what have really brought you here, “But you know what, Mitsu? Blankets cannot hold me tight. Blankets cannot whisper sweet things into my ears. Blankets cannot kiss me good night.”
I can’t believe it Nishi. I refuse to let myself believe what I think you’re trying to tell me. I won’t even look at you.
“Look at me Mitsu.”
I won’t.
“Mitsu” you step closer. Don’t do that Nishi, I don’t know how much longer I can control myself. Stay away... “Mitsu, don’t let me go away again... we both know how wrong it is to keep us apart like this...”
What?! What??! Did I just hear what I think I did? How...
“How can you say this when you’re the one who ditched me to begin with!?” I demand staring almost furiously into your eyes. Your eyes are slowly brimming with tears. Do you feel the pain now, Nishi? Only now?
“I know Mitsu! I know! That’s why I’m here! Asking you to never ever let me do this again!!”
I laugh. Yeah, a stark disbelieving laugh.
“That’s because you know you’ll always do it again and again, won’t you? You’ll always leave me, won’t you? No matter how much love I show you... I can drown you into love and still, I’ll be left alone like always.”
“I-I...” You stutter. That’s just enough.
“You know, Nishi... not even knowing this can manage to kill my hope. I still hope we can be together someday.”
“Let this day be today, Mitsu... I’m here, I’m asking you for a chance, don’t think of the future...”
“You’re so selfish... you don’t want me to think of the day I’ll see myself alone again, because that’s what’s gonna happen. I can wait until you make your final decision.”
“I’ve already made it Mitsuhiro.” You step closer and now I can feel the cold aura that involves your body. Even your breath seems cold. Can I believe you? Can I? “All I want, all I ever wanted... is you...”
The autumn breeze blows lightly. It makes one tear to roll down from your eyes. I’m watching you so closely that I can see the trail that the warm tear leaves on the cold skin of your face. Then my eyes are suddenly glued to your parted lips, and as you whisper I can read them as well as I can read your eyes, “Make me warm Mitsu, make me yours...”
How am I supposed to deny you... how am I supposed to resist you...
We are so close now that our coldness blend together. You are boldly offering your lips to me. You are always so tempting. You are always so defiant. You are always so deliciously you.
The autumn breeze blows gently again before there’s no more distance between your lips and mine. Our bodies make contact. Our kiss is so filled with fear. Fear that when it ends we’ll be apart again. Fear that you can’t keep up with your decision. Fear that I can’t have you again only for myself. I can’t ignore the wonderful feeling that floods my heart as we kiss, tho. You are the only thing capable of bringing happiness inside of me.
You catch my hands on yours, and entangle your fingers with mine. The coldness starts to disappear. Not the autumn breeze, still there, tenderly sweeping our faces every once in a while.
That’s when the kiss ends.
“Mitsu...” Your voice could be easily mixed up with the wind, “I love you, I love you more than you can imagine, more than I’ll ever be capable of show to you, but I do, you’re the only one for me and will always be...”
I sigh. I don’t know why but I only sigh. I feel you opening your eyes, and then I do the same. Your expression shows me so many things... I know you’re being true, Nishi. I honestly know it. But for how long?
Still holding my hands, you pull away. I look at you, waiting for your next step, which soon comes.
“You already made me warm. Now make me yours.”
I will. Once for all. Forever.
~~
If you read, please comment! <3