woah
so just got back from apex. alison couldn't come after all :( sara was there though. but so was mark turber. he was this total druggie last year in my german class. he was cool and all but he was majorly screwing his life up. well, he transferd to some catholic school and is sober now and he's like on varsity wrestling and what not. he's doing foot ball next year too. it was just sooo weird seeing him. and hearing about how well he was doing. i hadn't seen him in a very long time and i wouldn't have been suprised if he had died, as bad as that sounds. so it was nice to see him. he made me laugh the whole time. like old times in german class, except no smell of pot and what not. it was exciting. i'll see him again monday. im looking forward too it. i've always thought he was attractive, but now that he's cleaned himself up, oh boy! so. that's that. maybe we'll hang out sometime. that would be pretty cool i suppose. even if the whole time i would pretend that he was the boy the whole time. maybe i wouldn't. i seriously need to have my sexual hormones supressed, because i think about boys waaay to much.
i had a thought today. i thought about where i would be in like 4-8 years. I see a real small dusty like town. hot. dry. i live in a small white house and i have a black truck that always has dog nose smudges on the passnger side window. I'll go to school about 45 min. away. not sure what im studing in school. but yeah, i work in like a small indian resteraunt/gift shop place. i am a regular and the town coffee house and read my poetry and sing and play my guitar ever thursday night. my dog goes with me every where. he weighs no less than 90 lbs. i need a big dog. it will prolly be a mutt. i'll drive to a bigger city on weekends where i can be seen regulary and an underground salsa club. I date men. not too many. untill i meet someone and we become seriously involved with each other. he stays over night sometimes and writes poetry on me with oil pastels. i paint abstract pictures of us making love on his bare chest. we're best friends. he's got a dog too. we move in together in a small modest house with a big back yard. we go backpacking in europe with a group from college. we take our dogs. we're together for a very long time. he's my first true love. i dont think i'll marry him though. i might. i don't really know. i don't really know anything, im sort of building a fantesey life. That life would rock. seriously.
i had a thought today. i thought about where i would be in like 4-8 years. I see a real small dusty like town. hot. dry. i live in a small white house and i have a black truck that always has dog nose smudges on the passnger side window. I'll go to school about 45 min. away. not sure what im studing in school. but yeah, i work in like a small indian resteraunt/gift shop place. i am a regular and the town coffee house and read my poetry and sing and play my guitar ever thursday night. my dog goes with me every where. he weighs no less than 90 lbs. i need a big dog. it will prolly be a mutt. i'll drive to a bigger city on weekends where i can be seen regulary and an underground salsa club. I date men. not too many. untill i meet someone and we become seriously involved with each other. he stays over night sometimes and writes poetry on me with oil pastels. i paint abstract pictures of us making love on his bare chest. we're best friends. he's got a dog too. we move in together in a small modest house with a big back yard. we go backpacking in europe with a group from college. we take our dogs. we're together for a very long time. he's my first true love. i dont think i'll marry him though. i might. i don't really know. i don't really know anything, im sort of building a fantesey life. That life would rock. seriously.