Why am I always awake at 2:30 in the morning?
Oooooh boy have things changed since last summer. I'm not really going to get into how they have, because it's a long story which is probably supremely boring to everyone but me.
But I will speculate on why it matters. I don't understand why some change is bad and some change is good.
Some people get mad about things that change, and some people get excited about things that change. The way I see it, things are meant to change. How terribly boring would it be if nothing changed? I'm not saying that (I hate using this word) drama is a good and necessary thing, because it's not. I'm saying that change shouldn't cause problems.
But then you start to think...isn't the arousal of problems the change itself? Real deep, I know -- I'm really prying here.
People want you to be content and optimistic all the time. But, of course, things go their way and play themselves out, and end up differently than they started. So if you were perfectly content before and it changes, there's no way to still be PERFECTLY content after.
That totally blows, because that means that if you were ever completely happy, then you can never be completely happy again in your lifetime. It's not like this is me speaking from experience, this is just my theory. My own shit.
Anyway, I suppose there's a bright side to everything. And yes, everything. Anything could be worse, because you could be dead. And if you were dead, then you wouldn't be able to comprehend how bad it is to be dead.
So hey! Enjoy life! Eat drink and be merry! Sieze the day! Other inspirational optimistic shit! Just fuckin' go with it. You can't make everyone happy, and a lot of the time you can't make anyone happy.
Growing up totally sucks, because now people have more feelings and you will be criticized and judged for everything you do. Once you hit middle school you have to start worrying about how other people feel; are you hurting them? etc. High school you worry about what they think of YOU. Are you cool enough? Is your collar popped enough? Do you drink enough to be with the 'in' crowd? Then college (what I know of it anyway)...now you're expected to keep up with classes, completely self-motivated, but their still the lingering feeling that everyone is watching you and judging you (and people are judging you, that's what people do, it's okay).
The easy way out is to never think about it except at 2:30 in the morning, and to write it all down in your livejournal.
If you want a conclusion, it's not happening. There is not conclusion, because I don't know what the question was in the first place, or what I was trying to say. Change happens and we can't help it, I suppose. Whatever.
But I will speculate on why it matters. I don't understand why some change is bad and some change is good.
Some people get mad about things that change, and some people get excited about things that change. The way I see it, things are meant to change. How terribly boring would it be if nothing changed? I'm not saying that (I hate using this word) drama is a good and necessary thing, because it's not. I'm saying that change shouldn't cause problems.
But then you start to think...isn't the arousal of problems the change itself? Real deep, I know -- I'm really prying here.
People want you to be content and optimistic all the time. But, of course, things go their way and play themselves out, and end up differently than they started. So if you were perfectly content before and it changes, there's no way to still be PERFECTLY content after.
That totally blows, because that means that if you were ever completely happy, then you can never be completely happy again in your lifetime. It's not like this is me speaking from experience, this is just my theory. My own shit.
Anyway, I suppose there's a bright side to everything. And yes, everything. Anything could be worse, because you could be dead. And if you were dead, then you wouldn't be able to comprehend how bad it is to be dead.
So hey! Enjoy life! Eat drink and be merry! Sieze the day! Other inspirational optimistic shit! Just fuckin' go with it. You can't make everyone happy, and a lot of the time you can't make anyone happy.
Growing up totally sucks, because now people have more feelings and you will be criticized and judged for everything you do. Once you hit middle school you have to start worrying about how other people feel; are you hurting them? etc. High school you worry about what they think of YOU. Are you cool enough? Is your collar popped enough? Do you drink enough to be with the 'in' crowd? Then college (what I know of it anyway)...now you're expected to keep up with classes, completely self-motivated, but their still the lingering feeling that everyone is watching you and judging you (and people are judging you, that's what people do, it's okay).
The easy way out is to never think about it except at 2:30 in the morning, and to write it all down in your livejournal.
If you want a conclusion, it's not happening. There is not conclusion, because I don't know what the question was in the first place, or what I was trying to say. Change happens and we can't help it, I suppose. Whatever.