BAHAMAS and shit
so everyones been asking hows was the trip and it was ok i wish it could have been better but what could have made it better i tryed to have fun but couldnt help the mood swings. i slept a little during the day on the way back but wanted to sleep more later on but that didnt happen. it was so uncomfortable on the bus i started getting chest pains and having a hard time breathing and i almost vomited. not the most pleasant feeling. i came back home and slept all day them me and tina went tanning.
i was in this really bad mood the for some of the trip and i cant explain it. ive been getting really depressed lately and there so much going on i feel like shit all the time. i wish school would just end and i can get my car. ive want to be more independent but cant be when i depend on my friend for rides and a house to live in. i dont want to even bother talking about my parent. i have no insurance anymore so if i ever need to go to the hospital for any reason i can not and i also can no longer take my pill because i have no insurance to cover the bill.
i feel very alone at times like no one cares; and i know that my not be true and i guess im just look for the love i need from the wrong people. im tired of feeling like im going to walk the earth alone for the rest of my life. my life has changed so much and i cant do anything to make it better. im so depressed and wish that god would take my life and then i would never have to deal with all this pain. i spend most of the day alone in the basement watching tv. and thats all i dont want any sympathy i just wanted to get it out and do more with my life. im tired of scott mostly too he has changed so much since weve meet and dosnt notice me anymore. just a small example today he said that tina came up with away to call him scott t instead or scottie cause he hated it. but he must not remember last year at the new years party before it was time for me to go home me him and tina were sitting on his couch and i called him scottie and he said not to so i called him scott t the realized her got three t in a row in his name and made him a pink tina. o well i know he likes tina so it dosnt matter how much he ignores me. i dont even care anymore about graduating and going to college or prom or anything. nothing really matters. im so tired of being me. i wish it would just end i dont know what i have to even live for anymore. it all seem so pointless.
i was in this really bad mood the for some of the trip and i cant explain it. ive been getting really depressed lately and there so much going on i feel like shit all the time. i wish school would just end and i can get my car. ive want to be more independent but cant be when i depend on my friend for rides and a house to live in. i dont want to even bother talking about my parent. i have no insurance anymore so if i ever need to go to the hospital for any reason i can not and i also can no longer take my pill because i have no insurance to cover the bill.
i feel very alone at times like no one cares; and i know that my not be true and i guess im just look for the love i need from the wrong people. im tired of feeling like im going to walk the earth alone for the rest of my life. my life has changed so much and i cant do anything to make it better. im so depressed and wish that god would take my life and then i would never have to deal with all this pain. i spend most of the day alone in the basement watching tv. and thats all i dont want any sympathy i just wanted to get it out and do more with my life. im tired of scott mostly too he has changed so much since weve meet and dosnt notice me anymore. just a small example today he said that tina came up with away to call him scott t instead or scottie cause he hated it. but he must not remember last year at the new years party before it was time for me to go home me him and tina were sitting on his couch and i called him scottie and he said not to so i called him scott t the realized her got three t in a row in his name and made him a pink tina. o well i know he likes tina so it dosnt matter how much he ignores me. i dont even care anymore about graduating and going to college or prom or anything. nothing really matters. im so tired of being me. i wish it would just end i dont know what i have to even live for anymore. it all seem so pointless.