(no subject)
AM I THE ONLY ONE HAVING PROBLEMS GETTING LJ TO LOAD?!
I don't know whats up with me lately, but I feel so irratable. I just keep getting irritated at everyone for anything at all.
My relationship with Andrew seems to be on the rocks. I don't know if he realizes it or not, or if he even thinks that. Knowing him, he probably thinks everything is fine. We always seem mad at each other. I don't know what's happened. I think there have been little things/triggers that have happened that has put a strain on our relationship. First it was me hugging Elliott, then it was him drinking, me going to prom, him yelling at me before prom, and whatever else. I feel a lot differently than I did before. I lost a lot of respect for him when he told me he drank that beer. It might've been one beer, but it still meant something to me. Maybe everyone thinks I overreacted, but I felt betrayed, lied to. It hurt my feelings, made me lose my trust in him, and now I seem to always be irritated at him. Why do I feel so irriated at him? I can't even look at him the same and that bothers me. I held so much respect for him not drinking, I actually kind of bragged about it. I was proud that he didn't do that anymore. It bothered me when he drank before. Now I feel like he doesn't like me as much as he did. We used to just randomly say "I Love You" all the time. For a while, it annoyed the hell out of me because I didn't feel like he meant it, but then he kept saying it and I finally began to believe it and it made me happy. We only say it when we leave each other or we get off the phone. While I was sitting on the phone, I kept thinking of asking him if he still liked me or not. I felt dumb asking it, so I didn't. Sometimes I feel like he does and then other times I feel like I'm in the way or that he couldn't care less if I was around. I usually mostly feel like he doesn't care. And that's just as of late. He says he does, but we don't seem to be able to talk to each other. Maybe I'm just going through a phase and this is going along with me being sad all the time. Maybe something really is wrong, I don't know.
I don't know whats up with me lately, but I feel so irratable. I just keep getting irritated at everyone for anything at all.
My relationship with Andrew seems to be on the rocks. I don't know if he realizes it or not, or if he even thinks that. Knowing him, he probably thinks everything is fine. We always seem mad at each other. I don't know what's happened. I think there have been little things/triggers that have happened that has put a strain on our relationship. First it was me hugging Elliott, then it was him drinking, me going to prom, him yelling at me before prom, and whatever else. I feel a lot differently than I did before. I lost a lot of respect for him when he told me he drank that beer. It might've been one beer, but it still meant something to me. Maybe everyone thinks I overreacted, but I felt betrayed, lied to. It hurt my feelings, made me lose my trust in him, and now I seem to always be irritated at him. Why do I feel so irriated at him? I can't even look at him the same and that bothers me. I held so much respect for him not drinking, I actually kind of bragged about it. I was proud that he didn't do that anymore. It bothered me when he drank before. Now I feel like he doesn't like me as much as he did. We used to just randomly say "I Love You" all the time. For a while, it annoyed the hell out of me because I didn't feel like he meant it, but then he kept saying it and I finally began to believe it and it made me happy. We only say it when we leave each other or we get off the phone. While I was sitting on the phone, I kept thinking of asking him if he still liked me or not. I felt dumb asking it, so I didn't. Sometimes I feel like he does and then other times I feel like I'm in the way or that he couldn't care less if I was around. I usually mostly feel like he doesn't care. And that's just as of late. He says he does, but we don't seem to be able to talk to each other. Maybe I'm just going through a phase and this is going along with me being sad all the time. Maybe something really is wrong, I don't know.