(no subject)
I've been looking through a lot of old shit on my hard drive again, finding stuff to delete to make more room. I saw this file called "Jimcrazy.txt" and it's filled with crazy stuff Jim Butler used to put as his away message or in his profile. It's probably from like 3-4 years ago. Here are some gems:
SARS 4 life!
*Pop*Culture 4 life!
*Fact: all ugly/fat people constantly have boyfriends.girlfriends.partners. Explanation: In order to achieve a desired love of one's self, a greater knowledge of one's self "worth" [whatever that is], and a relief of "loneliness," these poor souls comb the globe [in this case, the campus] endlessly searching for "The One." It just so happens that this "one" changes about 2.5 times per year, on average.
THERE ARE NO GIRLS WITH GOOD PERSONALITIES!
_____________________________________________________
Listen, ladies (yes, I am actually calling you ladies)---do NOT IM ME EVER AGAIN unless you are going to suck or in some way going to bring me money/power. I have very simple wants, and IMing me with your boring minutiae and uneducated views are just a waste of your time as well as mine.
don't look at my away messages or profiles, either, unless you want to see increasingly deviant social behavior.
because in cyberspace, there are no Laws.
\
www.suck.com/me
_____________________________________________________
(this one was originally in 72 point font)
I AM THE ONE, TRUE, HIGHEST LORD GOD, HIGHEST AMONG ALL HUMANS AND SPHERES, THE SHINING LIGHT OF ALL CREATION, THE LONGING OF ALL FEMALES, I AM JAMES I AND I SHALL RULE OVER MY VAST PEOPLE, THE MASSES. I SHALL NOT FAULTER IN THE FACE OF TERRORISM OR COMMUNISM. NO, I SHALL CONTINUE THE DEVELOPMENT OF CAPITALISM, I SHALL FUCK ALL GIRLS RIGHT IN THEIR ASSHOLES. OH YES, RIGHT
IN
YOUR
ASSHOLE.
YOU DIRTY DIRTY SLUT
_____________________________________________________
Hi-Ya tha Junglist! I'm snorting a huge amount of pure, Colombian cocaine. After I completely waft every bit of pure starlight goodness into my nose, I will proceed to load an automatic machine gun and kill lots of people (mostly women, a few homeless and retarded people, maybe a dog). *This will all be done in the buff, save for a pair of New Balances that I got at Barney's New York.
_____________________________________________________
I thought I went beyond, but apparently I have not Gone Beyond enough.
More Coke Needed
_____________________________________________________
With all of my recent experience in children's literature, I've been able to write my own 3rd grade-level story...
Page 1: Guzzle, Guzzle, Guzzle! go the SUVs.
Page 2: Freedom, Liberty, Freedom! says the President.
Page 3: Money, Money, Money! say the corporate leaders.
and...
Page 4: Sex, God, Food, say the sorrowful masses!
SARS 4 life!
*Pop*Culture 4 life!
*Fact: all ugly/fat people constantly have boyfriends.girlfriends.partners. Explanation: In order to achieve a desired love of one's self, a greater knowledge of one's self "worth" [whatever that is], and a relief of "loneliness," these poor souls comb the globe [in this case, the campus] endlessly searching for "The One." It just so happens that this "one" changes about 2.5 times per year, on average.
THERE ARE NO GIRLS WITH GOOD PERSONALITIES!
_____________________________________________________
Listen, ladies (yes, I am actually calling you ladies)---do NOT IM ME EVER AGAIN unless you are going to suck or in some way going to bring me money/power. I have very simple wants, and IMing me with your boring minutiae and uneducated views are just a waste of your time as well as mine.
don't look at my away messages or profiles, either, unless you want to see increasingly deviant social behavior.
because in cyberspace, there are no Laws.
\
www.suck.com/me
_____________________________________________________
(this one was originally in 72 point font)
I AM THE ONE, TRUE, HIGHEST LORD GOD, HIGHEST AMONG ALL HUMANS AND SPHERES, THE SHINING LIGHT OF ALL CREATION, THE LONGING OF ALL FEMALES, I AM JAMES I AND I SHALL RULE OVER MY VAST PEOPLE, THE MASSES. I SHALL NOT FAULTER IN THE FACE OF TERRORISM OR COMMUNISM. NO, I SHALL CONTINUE THE DEVELOPMENT OF CAPITALISM, I SHALL FUCK ALL GIRLS RIGHT IN THEIR ASSHOLES. OH YES, RIGHT
IN
YOUR
ASSHOLE.
YOU DIRTY DIRTY SLUT
_____________________________________________________
Hi-Ya tha Junglist! I'm snorting a huge amount of pure, Colombian cocaine. After I completely waft every bit of pure starlight goodness into my nose, I will proceed to load an automatic machine gun and kill lots of people (mostly women, a few homeless and retarded people, maybe a dog). *This will all be done in the buff, save for a pair of New Balances that I got at Barney's New York.
_____________________________________________________
I thought I went beyond, but apparently I have not Gone Beyond enough.
More Coke Needed
_____________________________________________________
With all of my recent experience in children's literature, I've been able to write my own 3rd grade-level story...
Page 1: Guzzle, Guzzle, Guzzle! go the SUVs.
Page 2: Freedom, Liberty, Freedom! says the President.
Page 3: Money, Money, Money! say the corporate leaders.
and...
Page 4: Sex, God, Food, say the sorrowful masses!