Another Question for Dan Savage:
I'm a 25-year-old straight man. One of my best buddies is gay, and I'm in gay bars with him twice a week or so. (We like to drink!) My question: What's the correct response when I get hit on by men in gay bars? If a guy comes on strong, I kind of feel bad saying, "I'm straight." Because I don't want him to think I'm saying, "You're disgusting." So what's the etiquette for a straight guy in a gay bar? Is it wrong to say you have a boyfriend instead of just saying you're straight?
Not Overly Concerned Lost Useless Entity
Guys who either don't have boyfriends or do have boyfriends but are in monogamish relationships will frequently say "I have a boyfriend" to get rid of a guy at a bar who they don't find attractive. So be honest, NOCLUE. Finding out he never had a shot at you because you're straight will be easier on a guy's ego than having to wonder what it is you and your imaginary boyfriend didn't find attractive about him.
Now, some gay dudes will be annoyed when they discover that the guy they've invested 10 whole minutes in eye-fucking isn't gay, but most will welcome your presence as proof that-forgive me-it gets better. Straight dudes hanging out in gay bars with their gay friends? Straight dudes who are secure enough in their own sexuality that they're comfortable with being viewed as a sex object by other men? Sure signs of progress, NOCLUE. That some gay dudes will have to waste a few precious minutes of their lives flirting with men they can't suckfuckrimdatemarry is a small price to pay to be reminded that we live in a less homophobic world.
Not Overly Concerned Lost Useless Entity
Guys who either don't have boyfriends or do have boyfriends but are in monogamish relationships will frequently say "I have a boyfriend" to get rid of a guy at a bar who they don't find attractive. So be honest, NOCLUE. Finding out he never had a shot at you because you're straight will be easier on a guy's ego than having to wonder what it is you and your imaginary boyfriend didn't find attractive about him.
Now, some gay dudes will be annoyed when they discover that the guy they've invested 10 whole minutes in eye-fucking isn't gay, but most will welcome your presence as proof that-forgive me-it gets better. Straight dudes hanging out in gay bars with their gay friends? Straight dudes who are secure enough in their own sexuality that they're comfortable with being viewed as a sex object by other men? Sure signs of progress, NOCLUE. That some gay dudes will have to waste a few precious minutes of their lives flirting with men they can't suckfuckrimdatemarry is a small price to pay to be reminded that we live in a less homophobic world.