The Great Divide
I must admit that this entire enterprise is more for myself the more I think about it, although it was initially so that I could keep in touch with the exceeding small group, who would read what I posted in livejournal as a means of keeping in touch. It isn't just that I can organize my thoughts once and a while. I am intrigued by the idea that I will come back 5 years in the future to the early entries that I am writing now in order to look back. I've had a diary, but I have no interest in reading the entries. There's something vaguely embarrassing about rereading the entries that I can remember writing, and I believe that the work is still very contemporary. I did not keep anything during my first year. During years 2 to 4, there were distinct periods and growth, but the work will seem simultaneously very contemporary and foreign. It would be contemporary in that I would be dealing with the same tendencies and pitfalls that I found out I am prone to over the past 3 years, and now I have a sense that that was a finished unit, and I do not yet feel that there would be value to revisiting that past. I already learned my lesson. Its too soon to need a reminder.
Besides, public livejournal posts need to be a bit more presentable in terms of presentation. Perhaps, I would be more eager to reread them in the future.
Yet, if I had something from my first year, and it wasn't just, "I wish I could make a breakthrough in 160's... or that I had more time to work as much as I wanted to and to still procrastinate... or OChem has really cooled off this quarter"- then I would have some interest. I would have captured the transition between high school and college, which is a major juncture in any college student's life.
Nevertheless, I still believe that UChicago was very kind to me, although I'm jokingly afraid it could be in the "I love my abusive spouse kind of way." I'm joking of course, but there is a grain of truth to what I say. Maybe. Except for the eye shooting part, and some of the fallout, of which I've only seldom mentioned to a few.
In any event, I am about to cross the great divide. I left Chicago, but I've been there for the last 4 years. I am not from Chicago, but it was home. I have been journeying Westward towards the future. Setting off entailed many unforeseen consequences, but I know I'm in the right place. I had settled down on the dusty trail, and then comfortably - I had started putting a few hours into Majora's Mask, and then I finished all the achievements in this online flash game from the internet called Epic Battle Fantasy 3 among other more productive things. [By the way, it was not worth the time to get as far with it as I did. Epic Battle Fantasy 2 was definitely more satisfying, although it have many fewer features.] In any case, I had it in my mind to begin writing a short word document about the what the plan should be from now to the time in which the semester gets into full swing.
It turned into an outline of things to write and single spaced page about my previous experiences as a student of science, and some new reflections of what they meant and what they will mean. However, in doing this, I stepped over the the continental divide that is the line between being a student scientist to being a scientist who is still in school. Coincidentally, I am supposed to report to work tomorrow.
I have to go forwards. I no longer have any choice. Although I do it freely, I have stepped through a door and closed it behind me.
Besides, public livejournal posts need to be a bit more presentable in terms of presentation. Perhaps, I would be more eager to reread them in the future.
Yet, if I had something from my first year, and it wasn't just, "I wish I could make a breakthrough in 160's... or that I had more time to work as much as I wanted to and to still procrastinate... or OChem has really cooled off this quarter"- then I would have some interest. I would have captured the transition between high school and college, which is a major juncture in any college student's life.
Nevertheless, I still believe that UChicago was very kind to me, although I'm jokingly afraid it could be in the "I love my abusive spouse kind of way." I'm joking of course, but there is a grain of truth to what I say. Maybe. Except for the eye shooting part, and some of the fallout, of which I've only seldom mentioned to a few.
In any event, I am about to cross the great divide. I left Chicago, but I've been there for the last 4 years. I am not from Chicago, but it was home. I have been journeying Westward towards the future. Setting off entailed many unforeseen consequences, but I know I'm in the right place. I had settled down on the dusty trail, and then comfortably - I had started putting a few hours into Majora's Mask, and then I finished all the achievements in this online flash game from the internet called Epic Battle Fantasy 3 among other more productive things. [By the way, it was not worth the time to get as far with it as I did. Epic Battle Fantasy 2 was definitely more satisfying, although it have many fewer features.] In any case, I had it in my mind to begin writing a short word document about the what the plan should be from now to the time in which the semester gets into full swing.
It turned into an outline of things to write and single spaced page about my previous experiences as a student of science, and some new reflections of what they meant and what they will mean. However, in doing this, I stepped over the the continental divide that is the line between being a student scientist to being a scientist who is still in school. Coincidentally, I am supposed to report to work tomorrow.
I have to go forwards. I no longer have any choice. Although I do it freely, I have stepped through a door and closed it behind me.