Here are a few of my... things.
A list of the things working as a CNA has taught me.
1. If things are going good, just wait.
2. If you think things are horrible and they can't get any worse, just wait.
3. Someone will always wet themselves five minutes before you give report no matter how often you change them.
4. Someone will always have to go to the bathroom five minutes before your shift ends.
5. That someone is usually the one who takes the longest to go.
6. If a coworker has a problem with you, there might as well have never been a problem at all--because if you don't know, they're not telling you.
7. If that coworker does tell you, it's usually because that coworker is pissed off at the world and can't wait to take it out on you.
8. The people working closest to the front offices are always the one with stress issues.
9. There is no stapler. Don't try to find it, it will find you.
10. If there's a stapler, then it's broken.
11. If there's a stapler and by the grace of God it's not broken, it won't have staples.
12. The second you let someone borrow your pen, follow them everywhere.
13. Unsafe loaning of pens without proper stalking supervision pretty much means you're never going to see that pen again. Good job.
14. The call light will always ring two minutes before lunch. It's never for anything simple either.
15. Joking to your supervisor about killing residents is never a good idea (especially if you plan to go through with it).
16. Same goes for bashing certain resident's heads into the wall.
17. If you've finished early it usually means you forgot something.
18. You'll remember what you forgot an hour after you've left work.
19. That or you'll dream about it.
20. The ringing of the call lights follows you into your sleep.
21. Saying it'll be a "quiet night" just jinxed you to hell.
22. It's all fun and games until someone falls out of bed--then it's paperwork.
1. If things are going good, just wait.
2. If you think things are horrible and they can't get any worse, just wait.
3. Someone will always wet themselves five minutes before you give report no matter how often you change them.
4. Someone will always have to go to the bathroom five minutes before your shift ends.
5. That someone is usually the one who takes the longest to go.
6. If a coworker has a problem with you, there might as well have never been a problem at all--because if you don't know, they're not telling you.
7. If that coworker does tell you, it's usually because that coworker is pissed off at the world and can't wait to take it out on you.
8. The people working closest to the front offices are always the one with stress issues.
9. There is no stapler. Don't try to find it, it will find you.
10. If there's a stapler, then it's broken.
11. If there's a stapler and by the grace of God it's not broken, it won't have staples.
12. The second you let someone borrow your pen, follow them everywhere.
13. Unsafe loaning of pens without proper stalking supervision pretty much means you're never going to see that pen again. Good job.
14. The call light will always ring two minutes before lunch. It's never for anything simple either.
15. Joking to your supervisor about killing residents is never a good idea (especially if you plan to go through with it).
16. Same goes for bashing certain resident's heads into the wall.
17. If you've finished early it usually means you forgot something.
18. You'll remember what you forgot an hour after you've left work.
19. That or you'll dream about it.
20. The ringing of the call lights follows you into your sleep.
21. Saying it'll be a "quiet night" just jinxed you to hell.
22. It's all fun and games until someone falls out of bed--then it's paperwork.