yeeek
I surround myself with things that satisfy me. I was driving home and it was dark, and I had one of those self-realizing moments where all I could think about was how massively huge everything around me is, and how unimaginably small I really am. Clinging to the bottom of a cup, trying to convince those around me that I'm a much bigger deal than I really am.
Stepping out of myself for a moment, I wonder where this feeling is coming from. I wonder where that feeling of overwhelming insignificance came from. I wonder why I am suddenly extremely emotional and painfully unsatisfied with the way things are going in my life. The music playing in my car was upbeat and uplifting, and as the evening lights passed over my windshield and reflected off my dashboard, I began to hate the feeling that was taking over.
What is the cause of this? Is it the fact that I'm doomed to a life of retail and simply getting by because I am uneducated and unmotivated ACTUALLY a fact? Are the depressant agents in my cigarette playing tricks on my over-tired mind? And who are the people driving by me, anyway?! Are they thinking about this as well? Are their lives bigger than mine? Are they more important to the world than me? Do they, also, have friends that really care about them?
I turn my car from PCH onto Anaheim. One block later, the song "That's Life" by Frank Sinatra begins to play on my very satisfying video iPod. I see seven cop cars in the distance, sirens blazing. Another three parked on the corner that I would turn on to get to my apartment.
Somebody is having a much, much worse night than I am.
Listening to Frank sing his heart out, my heart begins to lift. Am I important? Is my job important? Is my stuff important? Should I even care?
The answer is a resounding "NO". That's life, and suddenly, I am overwhelmingly at peace with myself and my surroundings. The cops drove by in slow motion, and I pull into my driveway. I grab my bag of pretty things I want in my life, walk into my room, and vent to the internet about my experience.
That's life, and as funny as it may seem...
Some people get their kicks stompin' on a dream.
But I don't let it, let it get me down
'cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around.
What did I get from this experience?
"I really need to quit smoking."
The end.
Stepping out of myself for a moment, I wonder where this feeling is coming from. I wonder where that feeling of overwhelming insignificance came from. I wonder why I am suddenly extremely emotional and painfully unsatisfied with the way things are going in my life. The music playing in my car was upbeat and uplifting, and as the evening lights passed over my windshield and reflected off my dashboard, I began to hate the feeling that was taking over.
What is the cause of this? Is it the fact that I'm doomed to a life of retail and simply getting by because I am uneducated and unmotivated ACTUALLY a fact? Are the depressant agents in my cigarette playing tricks on my over-tired mind? And who are the people driving by me, anyway?! Are they thinking about this as well? Are their lives bigger than mine? Are they more important to the world than me? Do they, also, have friends that really care about them?
I turn my car from PCH onto Anaheim. One block later, the song "That's Life" by Frank Sinatra begins to play on my very satisfying video iPod. I see seven cop cars in the distance, sirens blazing. Another three parked on the corner that I would turn on to get to my apartment.
Somebody is having a much, much worse night than I am.
Listening to Frank sing his heart out, my heart begins to lift. Am I important? Is my job important? Is my stuff important? Should I even care?
The answer is a resounding "NO". That's life, and suddenly, I am overwhelmingly at peace with myself and my surroundings. The cops drove by in slow motion, and I pull into my driveway. I grab my bag of pretty things I want in my life, walk into my room, and vent to the internet about my experience.
That's life, and as funny as it may seem...
Some people get their kicks stompin' on a dream.
But I don't let it, let it get me down
'cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around.
What did I get from this experience?
"I really need to quit smoking."
The end.