Purple prose: Older than they think.

[ofstarstuff]

ursulav had an encounter with a badly written sex scene while decoupaging book pages onto her latest art project. The entry is pure gold, and as Ursula's entries often are, was added to metaquotes.

There, aim_of_destiny mentioned the Song of Solomon from the Christian Bible.

What did I stumble on. Seriously, what is this.

I am fully aware this was written on a different time. But by modern writing standards, some of the passages are completely hilarious and/or wft-worthy. There are little to no references to religion here and I am not out to insult anyone, just marveling at the absurd descriptors of love between a man and a woman.


Chapter 1

1. I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon.
2. Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me: my mother's children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept.

1. I have compared thee, O my love, to a company of horses in Pharaoh's chariots.

Chapter 4

1. Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead.
2. Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them.
3. Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely: thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks.
4. Thy neck is like the tower of David builded for an armoury, whereon there hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men.
5. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.

1. Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck.

1. Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.

Chapter 5

1. I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved.
2. I sleep, but my heart waketh: it is the voice of my beloved that knocketh, saying, Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled: for my head is filled with dew, and my locks with the drops of the night.
3. I have put off my coat; how shall I put it on? I have washed my feet; how shall I defile them?
4. My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him.

1. His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven.
2. His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set.
3. His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh.
4. His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires.
5. His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars.

Chapter 6

1. I went down into the garden of nuts to see the fruits of the valley, and to see whether the vine flourished and the pomegranates budded.

Chapter 7

1. How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.
2. Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies.

1. This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes.
2. I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples;

Chapter 8

1. O that thou wert as my brother, that sucked the breasts of my mother! When I should find thee without, I would kiss thee; yea, I should not be despised.
2. I would lead thee, and bring thee into my mother's house, who would instruct me: I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate.

1. We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?
2. If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards of cedar.
3. I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.

This almost makes the The Contendings of Horus and Seth seem commonplace, even with the lettuce and the solar disk crown made of Horus's sperm.