Well it's been a while....
It has been such a long time since I have updated and I just sit here wondering how it's possible for me to have gone through this change so quickly and so comfortably? I'm having the time of my life and I love how everything is going - It's weird coming home yet knowing that I now have another home at the RISD dorms where I live this second life full of art and passion and openness . I've gone to my first party, I've joined the basketball team, I went to a club and danced the night away, I've gotten my heart hurt, I thought I fell in love, I've made sooo many new friends, I want to be an RA next year, I went to a pumpkin patch and an apple orchard, I walk to wherever I want or take a cab there, I am free yet I was never inhibited.... I feel so odd. My home will never be the same and the weird part is that it doesn't stop here. Next year I want to intern or travel. Providence has all the charm of a small town yet all the options nd possibilities of a big city.
It's always hard or atleast I remember this feeling after Randy of craving the physical connection once had, the emotional understanding once shared, the yearning for someone to talk to into the wee hours and especially how vulnerable you are at this time. I sometimes wish I could disconnect this need from me or just numb it out instead of feeling a need to find it in another. I almost found it....and then reality hit.
I feel like I'm always posed with the wondering of how will I leave a mark and what kind of a mark? Will I be the good moralled girl Venice always knew or will I be a bit risque? Does it matter what people think? Does anyone else feel like they've outgrown Los Angeles?? like they've moved on but still have the need to come back to this state of normality? Part of me can't wait to get back to RISD because I absolutely love it...but another wants to stay and continue with highschool - living at home and being with my mom and Joe and the same people day in and out. Has anyone come back to see how quickly their loved ones have grown?
I feel like I know exactly what I want to do but how will I do it....it's such a long road that's just lived day by day...freshman year is so odd...knowing who to trust and who to make work for your friendship....Most people are coming to terms with the change most artists feel when they go to an art school and are no longer the best at the school....I feel like I can still hold my groud but who knows if that's true or just my outlook? How will I distinguish myself? Can I just trust that I'll do it by being myself? oy vey....
Coming home for Thanksgiving was a surge of emotions and sitting here now after dinner having seen everyone and looking forward to tomorrow and seeing my most favorite closest friends just makes my heart o so happy!! There is something truly magical about home and my puppy Mandy and hugs from Joe and mom that just do me right.
But right now at RISD I've got all my studios and work under control and I would like a guy to ask me out on a date....I would truly like a brave gutsy guy to just come up to me with a time and date and take a chance....I'm asking a lot I'm sure but I'm tired of feeling so untouchable.
-Peggy Sue
It's always hard or atleast I remember this feeling after Randy of craving the physical connection once had, the emotional understanding once shared, the yearning for someone to talk to into the wee hours and especially how vulnerable you are at this time. I sometimes wish I could disconnect this need from me or just numb it out instead of feeling a need to find it in another. I almost found it....and then reality hit.
I feel like I'm always posed with the wondering of how will I leave a mark and what kind of a mark? Will I be the good moralled girl Venice always knew or will I be a bit risque? Does it matter what people think? Does anyone else feel like they've outgrown Los Angeles?? like they've moved on but still have the need to come back to this state of normality? Part of me can't wait to get back to RISD because I absolutely love it...but another wants to stay and continue with highschool - living at home and being with my mom and Joe and the same people day in and out. Has anyone come back to see how quickly their loved ones have grown?
I feel like I know exactly what I want to do but how will I do it....it's such a long road that's just lived day by day...freshman year is so odd...knowing who to trust and who to make work for your friendship....Most people are coming to terms with the change most artists feel when they go to an art school and are no longer the best at the school....I feel like I can still hold my groud but who knows if that's true or just my outlook? How will I distinguish myself? Can I just trust that I'll do it by being myself? oy vey....
Coming home for Thanksgiving was a surge of emotions and sitting here now after dinner having seen everyone and looking forward to tomorrow and seeing my most favorite closest friends just makes my heart o so happy!! There is something truly magical about home and my puppy Mandy and hugs from Joe and mom that just do me right.
But right now at RISD I've got all my studios and work under control and I would like a guy to ask me out on a date....I would truly like a brave gutsy guy to just come up to me with a time and date and take a chance....I'm asking a lot I'm sure but I'm tired of feeling so untouchable.
-Peggy Sue