(no subject)
Where the wind chooses to blow
I no longer know
I dont question where it will go
I blindly and trustingly follow.
The weariness is unpredictable
It knocks at my door,
unmistakably.
The present becomes my past
a new adventure's waiting for me.
It's twitching to be flicked again
aching to be turned off again
the switch in my heart that,
once switched
makes me drift apart again.
Quenching for the taste that freedom does fullfill
I burn for a new taste
an exciting new thrill.
A new ending to another tale
emotion shut down completely
ready to bid a farewell.
Its as if my love runs on a timer
The time different every time|
Now the buzzer is screaming in my ear
Time for me to disappear.
4:03 PM - I cry an acid rain.
I never felt worth a damn, I am who i am but thats nothing to write home about
I am the worst, the despicable insight,
outlook,
down right ridiculous without a doubt
i look like a clown who wears a permanent frown,
How could anyone think Im beautiful?
I am the used parts of a 64 chevelle, Im a girl who was meant to be a male,
my skin is worn from being beaten by the hand, im bruised from words driven under by the man,
my thoughts are absurd and deserve no applause,
i cant even write good, i try anyways just because
My face is fake,
I am a mistake,
Even my dad thinks that i am.
This is all true i really do feel this way.
--------------------------------------------------------
If thats what he wants then i say goodbye to him,
i was stupid to have felt that way,
Stupid to believe in it. For i am nobody, just a fuckn misfit.
While hes away fuckn her brains out, I wont stay home and cry my eyes out,
Id settle for anyone tonight,
when the moments right
Shes everything i never could have been, the upside of the perfect sin,
hes there and Im here,
he was my biggest hope, but made true my biggest fear
Her misplaced face is implanted permanently in outer space,
now everytime I shall look at the sky Ill be reminded of my tragedy and a part of my soul will die.
I scream in vain,
"FUCKN LET GO OF THE PAIN"
but it burns deep into my flesh, a ripping vengeance of happiness now a huge ugly mess,
Rain falls down my cheeks
incinerating my skin,
i fought and lost at all costs
now i dig myself out of the shit he buried me in
hatred and suicide grow
where true love could have been.
---- Not a true story ----
I dont really feel this way about anyone in particular. someone did not leave me for another girl. the girl and he are fictional.
Until my scars are healed and my mind lets me go,
ill play dead to hide my heart,
i changed, i pushed you away,
because instead of growing together we grew apart,
I am heartless and I dont feel like a person should,
but even if i could i would shun away the emotion,
loves secret potion turned into a curse and with my words i spoke poison and you took a turn for the worst,
your reaction wasnt as i expected,
you turned sadistic and by doing so your pleas i have rejected,
im telling you that its over,
we are no more,
yet you keep trying
and your antics are becoming a bore,
its unfair but it was not out of nowhere,
I know what im doing althou you dont agree,
but staying with you would have been torment to me,
dont mis-interpret my words,
you werent a mistake to me,
this isnt an apology,
its more of an explanation to thee,
of how my world really works.
To go back would be to take a step back,
and thats not way its supposed to be,
Why did my heart turn cold?
only i will know,
cuz when i tried to explain,
you went insane and said it wasnt good enough,
But ive had enough so take your stuff and start to move on.
you once killed my growing lonliness,
but then your soul created my emptiness,
the freedom i now feel is priceless,
I cant refuse to give into the happiness i now feel
this newly found life has great appeal to me.
Its not the end of the world,
Your heart will again beat for another girl,
but dont confuse me for the one,
for our love came undone,
watch my back as im walking away.
take control
cut the rope thats hangin you
before its known that your sellin you
Self deception written on your skin
deadly fumes of fate breathe down your spine
what you live is a sin
what hasnt killed you
will find you in the end
what once worked its charm
is now dead
Tryin to feel only makes the soul more weary
A thoughtless life driven by an empty theory
Forced to believe the lies of love
the choice taken from your hands
now thrown to the wolves no one to save you
not even the "god" from above.
what a fuckn tragedy
your portrait turned out to be
less than what you once were
beaten down
a disgrace, a broken picture,
tainted, unwanted
go beast be Gone
once sucked into the seduction.
your life is disrupted.
Sometimes I hate the world I was given
I cast spells on the unwanted path chosen for me
Its covered with anger, pain, and disappointment as debris (d br )
My real dad who left me, I have never forgiven,
The one who laid his hand upon my face, with my wrath so shall he be stricken.
The woman I call mom makes me choke on the fury that fills my lungs.
She's the source of my anger, for turning her back on me when I was young.
A step dad who hit me leading to
scars I implanted
a life once horizontal fucked over completely
now offscew and slanted.
[incomplete shall write more]
One moment your on top of the world everything is going great and the next your sitting on top of your roof wondering how the Fuck your world got turned upside down and the only thing stopping you from jumping and landing on your head (breaking the neck) is the enjoyment of your last cigarette, which you dare not waste.
I no longer know
I dont question where it will go
I blindly and trustingly follow.
The weariness is unpredictable
It knocks at my door,
unmistakably.
The present becomes my past
a new adventure's waiting for me.
It's twitching to be flicked again
aching to be turned off again
the switch in my heart that,
once switched
makes me drift apart again.
Quenching for the taste that freedom does fullfill
I burn for a new taste
an exciting new thrill.
A new ending to another tale
emotion shut down completely
ready to bid a farewell.
Its as if my love runs on a timer
The time different every time|
Now the buzzer is screaming in my ear
Time for me to disappear.
4:03 PM - I cry an acid rain.
I never felt worth a damn, I am who i am but thats nothing to write home about
I am the worst, the despicable insight,
outlook,
down right ridiculous without a doubt
i look like a clown who wears a permanent frown,
How could anyone think Im beautiful?
I am the used parts of a 64 chevelle, Im a girl who was meant to be a male,
my skin is worn from being beaten by the hand, im bruised from words driven under by the man,
my thoughts are absurd and deserve no applause,
i cant even write good, i try anyways just because
My face is fake,
I am a mistake,
Even my dad thinks that i am.
This is all true i really do feel this way.
--------------------------------------------------------
If thats what he wants then i say goodbye to him,
i was stupid to have felt that way,
Stupid to believe in it. For i am nobody, just a fuckn misfit.
While hes away fuckn her brains out, I wont stay home and cry my eyes out,
Id settle for anyone tonight,
when the moments right
Shes everything i never could have been, the upside of the perfect sin,
hes there and Im here,
he was my biggest hope, but made true my biggest fear
Her misplaced face is implanted permanently in outer space,
now everytime I shall look at the sky Ill be reminded of my tragedy and a part of my soul will die.
I scream in vain,
"FUCKN LET GO OF THE PAIN"
but it burns deep into my flesh, a ripping vengeance of happiness now a huge ugly mess,
Rain falls down my cheeks
incinerating my skin,
i fought and lost at all costs
now i dig myself out of the shit he buried me in
hatred and suicide grow
where true love could have been.
---- Not a true story ----
I dont really feel this way about anyone in particular. someone did not leave me for another girl. the girl and he are fictional.
Until my scars are healed and my mind lets me go,
ill play dead to hide my heart,
i changed, i pushed you away,
because instead of growing together we grew apart,
I am heartless and I dont feel like a person should,
but even if i could i would shun away the emotion,
loves secret potion turned into a curse and with my words i spoke poison and you took a turn for the worst,
your reaction wasnt as i expected,
you turned sadistic and by doing so your pleas i have rejected,
im telling you that its over,
we are no more,
yet you keep trying
and your antics are becoming a bore,
its unfair but it was not out of nowhere,
I know what im doing althou you dont agree,
but staying with you would have been torment to me,
dont mis-interpret my words,
you werent a mistake to me,
this isnt an apology,
its more of an explanation to thee,
of how my world really works.
To go back would be to take a step back,
and thats not way its supposed to be,
Why did my heart turn cold?
only i will know,
cuz when i tried to explain,
you went insane and said it wasnt good enough,
But ive had enough so take your stuff and start to move on.
you once killed my growing lonliness,
but then your soul created my emptiness,
the freedom i now feel is priceless,
I cant refuse to give into the happiness i now feel
this newly found life has great appeal to me.
Its not the end of the world,
Your heart will again beat for another girl,
but dont confuse me for the one,
for our love came undone,
watch my back as im walking away.
take control
cut the rope thats hangin you
before its known that your sellin you
Self deception written on your skin
deadly fumes of fate breathe down your spine
what you live is a sin
what hasnt killed you
will find you in the end
what once worked its charm
is now dead
Tryin to feel only makes the soul more weary
A thoughtless life driven by an empty theory
Forced to believe the lies of love
the choice taken from your hands
now thrown to the wolves no one to save you
not even the "god" from above.
what a fuckn tragedy
your portrait turned out to be
less than what you once were
beaten down
a disgrace, a broken picture,
tainted, unwanted
go beast be Gone
once sucked into the seduction.
your life is disrupted.
Sometimes I hate the world I was given
I cast spells on the unwanted path chosen for me
Its covered with anger, pain, and disappointment as debris (d br )
My real dad who left me, I have never forgiven,
The one who laid his hand upon my face, with my wrath so shall he be stricken.
The woman I call mom makes me choke on the fury that fills my lungs.
She's the source of my anger, for turning her back on me when I was young.
A step dad who hit me leading to
scars I implanted
a life once horizontal fucked over completely
now offscew and slanted.
[incomplete shall write more]
One moment your on top of the world everything is going great and the next your sitting on top of your roof wondering how the Fuck your world got turned upside down and the only thing stopping you from jumping and landing on your head (breaking the neck) is the enjoyment of your last cigarette, which you dare not waste.