(Untitled)

[ofmyderriere]

...hi! I'm Donna, I thiiiiink I'm kinda lost? I'm supposed to be in NYC right now? I was definitely in Bed-Stuy like, five minutes ago.

I have this tiny, itty-bitty emergency - the kind that needs a changing table as of approx. that five minutes ago - so if somebody could clue my ass in, that'd be great! And I would be grateful.

...anybody?

Comments

[alittlecredit]

That's funny, I'm supposed to be in NYC right now, too.

[ofmyderriere]

I don't know if funny is the word we're looking for here, buddy, but I sympathize!

[alittlecredit]

So uh...you get the 411 on this place yet? Seeing as you apparently got a bebé to be worried about.

[ofmyderriere]

Wanda's swinging by to help me get myself settled, yeah, and Claire hooked me up with the guide. (Baby girl's name is Sirja, she is not potty-trained or at Saying Hi level yet.)

[alittlecredit]

Looks like the whole world swooped down and made you at home, then. That's good, because I just got here and I would be useless as tits on a duck anyway.

Sirja's pretty. What country's it from? Never heard it before.

[ofmyderriere]

I attract helpfulness by being tiny, friendly, and 60% cleavage. Also, the baby. Okay, these days, mostly the baby.

It's Finnish, honey. My dad's mom was Sirja Vanska before she was stolen away by a nefarious Texan man.

[alittlecredit]

I am medium, cranky and usually 0% cleavage unless something really majorly wrong is happening. When I got here I fell into a fountain in winter and broke my wrist. Shit sucks.

I have never met a person with Finnish ancestry before. And this is saying something like you would not believe. What's your name?

[ofmyderriere]

Fuck, that does suck - are you okay? Your wrist, I mean, you got it looked at, right?

Sirja has Finnish, Georgian, and Chinese. And...whatever is in my side of the family besides Finnish.

Donna Duvall Voss! Your turn.

[alittlecredit]

It's in a brace. I've had worse, this is just annoying like you wouldn't believe.

Wow, Donna Duvall Voss. It has all of the best qualities of 'flowing' and 'being a mouthful.' Congrats on that.

Julio Esteban Richter. But just call me Ric. I'm not big on the full name thing.

[ofmyderriere]

It could be your ribs. That shit is not cool, I'll let you figure out why.

Donnatella Marie Duvall Voss actually.

Ric, got it! Pleased to meet you.

[alittlecredit]

Uh, why?

Pleased to meet you. Hope your day isn't too ruined by the whole pulled into an alternate universe full of crazy thing. If it is I could probably offer you some grief counseling, but I'm shit at inspiring people.

[ofmyderriere]

Technically I'm being polite right now which is why I'm not actually going to explain that comment.

I'll be okay, I'm very good at being okay! Also I swore off grief counselling for Lent.

[alittlecredit]

Why are you being polite for a bunch of yahoos on the 'internet' thingy you don't even know, sweetheart?

I'm very good at being angry, so I guess that makes us a match pair.

[ofmyderriere]

Because I'm lost and unarmed and carrying a small child and not retarded, sugar!

Well, we should hang out and you can be angry and I'll make fun of you.

[alittlecredit]

You're gonna teach her bad words if you're not careful if you're just being 'polite.'

Hey, what's new. It's what I'm good at.

[ofmyderriere]

There are worse goddamn people in the world for baby girl to learn bad things from than her mommy.

We're on the up and up already, how's that for ... possibly having a psychotic episode.