Fic: Dean's Introduction to Destiel
There is nothing remotely fun about this. Dean was stuck in a fucking horror film. How was he supposed to know that trickster’s were so goddamn sensitive about their past pranks? The bastard had tried to pull off a Doctor Sexy without the cowboy boots - Dean figured it was completely in his right to mention what a lame, suck-ass idea throwing someone into a wormhole was. Sammy had given him his ‘shut the hell up before you get us killed’ bitch-face right before the goddamn trickster had whacked him into one. Yes - Dean Winchester was stuck in a fucking wormhole.
To add insult to injury, he was starting to get a pattern. Sure it had taken him a few ‘realities’, but he wasn’t stupid. Every time he helped someone the world shifted. Yep, it was a fucking feel-good-trippy-ass wormhole and Dean was not amused. He was going to gank that motherfucker as soon as figured a way to break out of this carousel ride from hell.
He didn’t even want to think what the Trickster could be doing to Sam back in TV land.
So far in his journey’s he had witnessed some truly horrifying images. Sam as a girl, him with frigging wings, one time he walked into a world where everyone sang every damn thing. So when he landed in a new dimension (or whatever the fuck they were called when you were travelling through these things) Dean was prepared for the worst … or so he thought.
He was standing at the foot of a motel bed; it could have been one of the thousands he had slept in over the course of his life. What made this bed so shocking was the person who was in it. Castiel. Naked Castiel. Naked turned-on Castiel. His eyes needed soap. It was too frightening to turn away from.
Dean had always prided himself on quick reflexes. Being a hunter you learned damn fast to move with the punches and not stand like a fool with your mouth open. Doing that got you killed. Dean couldn’t seem to move though. It was like some demonic bitch had frozen his body.
“Dean,” Castiel moaned, causing Dean to choke on air. “I told you the convenient store had lube.”
If the words hadn’t been enough to break his trance, Cas’ hand moving down to fondle his erection would have. Spinning away from the sight and trying to forever block out the memory of Castiel saying ‘lube’. He was in hell … again.
“Dean?”
“Ah, sorry Cas, um, I …”
He was blushing like a damn school girl. Goddamn fucking trickster and his sick sense of humour. He heard a deep chuckle behind him and the rustling of sheets. Dean hadn’t ever heard Cas chuckle like that. This world was fucking crazy.
Suddenly hard arms wrapped around him from behind, sliding down his front and - whoa! Dean quickly sprung away. That was too much. Dean liked Cas. The little, nerdy angel was one of the handful of people that Dean would actually admit to liking. That did not mean he had the right to just grab his junk - regardless of the dimension/world/whatever he was in.
“Dean?” Castiel asked, sounding so lost and very much like the Cas Dean knew, that he turned back around to look at the angel. Cas tilted his head. Damn him and his head tilt.
“Uh, sorry Cas just … just … couldn’t find any ...” Dean had to bite out the last word, “lube.”
“I keep telling you it is not of import,” Cas said, causing Dean’s heart to have mini-attacks at what the angel was trying to say. Dean was just happy that he didn’t try to grab Dean again; instead Cas went and sat on the edge of the bed. “Besides, as you have shown me there are other ways to pleasure each other. Come back to bed.”
“I?” Dean decided not to ask any more questions. “Listen, I need to .. go.”
“Dean? Is this about the fact that I tried to blow you ..”
“Please stop talking.”
“… in Bobby’s living room …”
“Please stop.”
“I told you I did not comprehend the reference.”
“I will pay you to stop.”
“I thought when you said “blow me Cas” that it was an invitation.”
“Oh god.”
“Bobby and Sam have not even mentioned the incident since.”
“Oh GOD! Stop it.”
“Dean?”
This was a nightmare of epic proportions. Dean just needed to get away, far away - to world where Cas wore clothes, preferably his trench coat and didn’t sit there talking about sexual advances he had made in front of his goddamn family … buck naked.
“Listen, just …what do you need help with?” Dean asked, desperate to leave. Castiel’s gaze went down to his lap. “No! Something else, goddamnit, didn’t you say Dean from here went to get lube?”
Ignoring Castiel’s gaze, he reached into his back pocket. Dean couldn’t help it that he was a good-looking guy, and he liked to be prepared for whatever might come his way. So he quickly threw what little bits he carried in his back pocket; some lube and condoms mostly and prayed it was enough ‘help’ to earn his ticket away from there.
Sure enough the world started to fade and Dean managed to shout out “Have fun!”
After all, just because he wasn’t interested in getting laid by Castiel didn’t mean he couldn’t be happy for alternate-him.
Sam was to never know of this world.
To add insult to injury, he was starting to get a pattern. Sure it had taken him a few ‘realities’, but he wasn’t stupid. Every time he helped someone the world shifted. Yep, it was a fucking feel-good-trippy-ass wormhole and Dean was not amused. He was going to gank that motherfucker as soon as figured a way to break out of this carousel ride from hell.
He didn’t even want to think what the Trickster could be doing to Sam back in TV land.
So far in his journey’s he had witnessed some truly horrifying images. Sam as a girl, him with frigging wings, one time he walked into a world where everyone sang every damn thing. So when he landed in a new dimension (or whatever the fuck they were called when you were travelling through these things) Dean was prepared for the worst … or so he thought.
He was standing at the foot of a motel bed; it could have been one of the thousands he had slept in over the course of his life. What made this bed so shocking was the person who was in it. Castiel. Naked Castiel. Naked turned-on Castiel. His eyes needed soap. It was too frightening to turn away from.
Dean had always prided himself on quick reflexes. Being a hunter you learned damn fast to move with the punches and not stand like a fool with your mouth open. Doing that got you killed. Dean couldn’t seem to move though. It was like some demonic bitch had frozen his body.
“Dean,” Castiel moaned, causing Dean to choke on air. “I told you the convenient store had lube.”
If the words hadn’t been enough to break his trance, Cas’ hand moving down to fondle his erection would have. Spinning away from the sight and trying to forever block out the memory of Castiel saying ‘lube’. He was in hell … again.
“Dean?”
“Ah, sorry Cas, um, I …”
He was blushing like a damn school girl. Goddamn fucking trickster and his sick sense of humour. He heard a deep chuckle behind him and the rustling of sheets. Dean hadn’t ever heard Cas chuckle like that. This world was fucking crazy.
Suddenly hard arms wrapped around him from behind, sliding down his front and - whoa! Dean quickly sprung away. That was too much. Dean liked Cas. The little, nerdy angel was one of the handful of people that Dean would actually admit to liking. That did not mean he had the right to just grab his junk - regardless of the dimension/world/whatever he was in.
“Dean?” Castiel asked, sounding so lost and very much like the Cas Dean knew, that he turned back around to look at the angel. Cas tilted his head. Damn him and his head tilt.
“Uh, sorry Cas just … just … couldn’t find any ...” Dean had to bite out the last word, “lube.”
“I keep telling you it is not of import,” Cas said, causing Dean’s heart to have mini-attacks at what the angel was trying to say. Dean was just happy that he didn’t try to grab Dean again; instead Cas went and sat on the edge of the bed. “Besides, as you have shown me there are other ways to pleasure each other. Come back to bed.”
“I?” Dean decided not to ask any more questions. “Listen, I need to .. go.”
“Dean? Is this about the fact that I tried to blow you ..”
“Please stop talking.”
“… in Bobby’s living room …”
“Please stop.”
“I told you I did not comprehend the reference.”
“I will pay you to stop.”
“I thought when you said “blow me Cas” that it was an invitation.”
“Oh god.”
“Bobby and Sam have not even mentioned the incident since.”
“Oh GOD! Stop it.”
“Dean?”
This was a nightmare of epic proportions. Dean just needed to get away, far away - to world where Cas wore clothes, preferably his trench coat and didn’t sit there talking about sexual advances he had made in front of his goddamn family … buck naked.
“Listen, just …what do you need help with?” Dean asked, desperate to leave. Castiel’s gaze went down to his lap. “No! Something else, goddamnit, didn’t you say Dean from here went to get lube?”
Ignoring Castiel’s gaze, he reached into his back pocket. Dean couldn’t help it that he was a good-looking guy, and he liked to be prepared for whatever might come his way. So he quickly threw what little bits he carried in his back pocket; some lube and condoms mostly and prayed it was enough ‘help’ to earn his ticket away from there.
Sure enough the world started to fade and Dean managed to shout out “Have fun!”
After all, just because he wasn’t interested in getting laid by Castiel didn’t mean he couldn’t be happy for alternate-him.
Sam was to never know of this world.