Clemens Legacy 2.2
Oh, Jazzy. "Revived" and as expected, stuck with that atrocious hat; yet I am so glad to see you gorge on spaghetti.
Old habits die hard.
Aw, Jazzy just slinking into bed, eyes still open and everything. Worried, Jas? :(
;D they had to make a new one, you see, with the premature death and all
Seriously, they die really hard.
:) at least you're alive, Jas
And happy as ever!
JAS CASTING A SPELL?! :O
No, of course not. Who would you be kidding, Jas?
...
...
:'(
IRRELEVANT SCENES OF RANDOM PASSERBY BEING ASSAULTED BY DOG
GOOD LUCK DUDE
Jasmyn: *blogs* oh, how I would love to leave this domicile and just live amongst the trees and fauna in harmony
That's my Jazzy. Running alongside the butterflies, stench fumes not soon after trailing behind, carrying the eau de parfum that is Jazmyn's piss~
unsuspecting club representative: aye bitch u in the club now
nice boots
I don't know what to tell you, babies. Sitting in your own feces, hopeful in your little baby hearts that maybe this minute, maybe the next, your dirty little bottoms will be less likely to literally fuse with the poop in your diaper, thus saving the embarrassment and the names of "stinky poop butt" hurled at you when you're 6 years old, in first grade, and still unfortunately wearing diapers. Maybe Jasmyn will pick you up, put you back in your crib, or even miss the crib all together and set you down on the floor. I don't know, babies. That's life.
Jasmyn: *chugs*
Mat: HELLO WIFE :DDDD
Jas: *ignores*
Just because the stink fumes match the food for once does not make it okay to consume!
Jasmyn has an extraordinarily high threshold for not going insane. I haven't had any mental breakdowns yet! :D
Mat tries to console his ~obviously~ depressed wife
She looks scary. o_o Or maybe horny O_o
WHAT I JUST BOUGHT A NEW FRIDGE LIKE A MINUTE AGO
Mat = The founder that lets me down on so many levels. :(
YA KUDOS MAT FOR LEAVING YOUR SON IN A CORNER *move objects on*
SHOULD I DELETE PHINEAS N/N
aw Mat I don't want her to die either ;_;
Instead of buying cologne, Mat opts for directly marinating in the stench of Eau de Bébé™.
Um, washing your own body thereby raises the cleanliness of the environment?
why did you walk past the fresh food D:
To stand there? Ok.
That's cool, too. You already know what I feel about that.
Ooh, nice!
Finally.
< /porn>
*sigh*
lol, that doesn't surprise me.
I'd love to have you in the family, kitty, but this is an ISBI legacy and no one would have time for you :(
shoo flee! :D
pop!
My fantasy: making out in a puddle of my own urine
This is cute though :D
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO HAVE A NANNY OMG YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE. sorry for this terrible cap, btw. I just had to take that one right then, I guess O_o
wrong, nanny. the babies are fed enough tyvm
aw this is probably the most interaction the babies would ever get since their own parents don't even have the time/mind for them
peeing? in a toilet? I'm flabbergasted.
Elderly Garden Club Representative, I don't know who let you in or how you got in the house even, but please. Put the baby down.
nom nom and the like
Why...are you just standing in the door frame...
Mat: OMG THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME WHERE MY EX FIANCE DUMPED ME RIGHT AT THAT SPOT OVER THERE SO KEEP IT ON THE ~DL~ SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT I KNOW
mac n' cheese = crack fumes?
What do you think, Jas?
Jas: ~please~ bitch
Jas: I'd get out of here on a toy airplane, if I could. I'm that desperate.
Jas: *stares* oh my god this geezer's fug
Jas: So I've got to ask...now that you're old how's it hanging down there? A few meters down, slightly to the left...?
Elderly Garden Club Representative: Why, my junk's still as tight as a baby's ballsack!
o_o
I still squee silently to myself over their ~bed-time~ luv
Jas: ah good you got the cereal this time, hon! I still haven't quite learned to make that one yet! :D
baby: foodfoodfood
second pop!
Where ya runnin' off to, Jas?
So close >_<
Props for actual doing something useful, but try to use the changing table next time, yeah?
how does one break a dishwasher by putting a plate in D:
:o time for the babies to grow up already?
It's Seoul! who has a combover already what
uh wait grow the other babby up please
no, Seoul you've only just grown up O_O
And here you see Seoul playing in a mixture of his biological mother and step-mother's/s' pee!
Srsly? It's only been like two days.
Phineas enters toddlerhood with already-soiled nappies~
Jas it's your other son who is stanky
Phineas is a straight purist and prefers to play in only his step-mother's pee
Jas, puddles of pee are not the kind of environment you'd want to expose your sons to.
Jasmyn stood both amazed and perplexed by this contraption called the "potty", seeing as she never had one in her youth. When, in fact, she asked Mat what they were for, he replied with "for you to poop in pee in, hun!" And she was like: "No way.
parenting, you're doing it wrong. (I couldn't think of another caption, sry)
the twins! this was a horrible cap! :D
gwah Seoul's jammies
Jas: Thanks for cleaning up my pee, hun! I was trying to soak it up with my feet but it just wasn't working :D
LOL I'm glad Jas thought that was a nightmare
And Seoul never accrued any more aspiration points than that ever again.
jas jas you have a beeeeeeed
do ya'll love Seoul's favorite new way to plaaaaay~
I don't.
stop
baby time
A girl named Midori who has the same coloring as her brothers. I am waiting for a red-haired child. where are your genetic traits Jas >:|
you can't resent this child, Mat, it's one not born out of wedlock D:
she enjoys that damn thing too much
who has ever smited you, nanny?
my favorite Jas is the one that inhales mac n' cheese. now available in stores!
Jas: Simgod, I *like* breathing in my food
Jas: *plops*
Jas: *GASPS*
*plops*
Mat: :O
Mat: halp guys
guys who were let in the house at some point: FUCK YEAH WE'RE BLACK
Jas: *has magically transported behind them* hey I'm black too...
Playful Mat is like whee
black dude: we've reached a consensus and have thus decided you are indeed black
Jas: FUCKING YES
Jas: shit I got so excited I pissed on myself
Jas is awesome and you know it.
someone doesn't wanna learn how to walk ;)
bed time is like Jas' one source of peace
where is your brother?
of course.
I bet Seoul can't wait till he grows up :(
Oh god. Here you see is Jas picking up a call from Mere not for Mat but for her!
Jas: Hey, you're the bitch Mat kicked out for me to move in, right? How are you? :D
Jas: Yeah, what I did could be considered unlawful, but you know what they say! Finders keepers, losers weepers.
Jas: Yeah, well, do something and I'll get you thrown into prison, bitch. *smiles*
Jas: Oh yeah, I do remember waving to you as that taxi drove your sad-ass home. That was hilarious!
Nanny? For once, that may not be such a good idea.
Jas: GOD DAMN THESE KIDS
Phineas: mommy...? *minus*
a nanny about to piss herself what's new
right in front of the child too. score!
Isn't this just an all-around wonderful scene?
Really, Jas? You've gone to great lengths just to prove you're a family Sim. -_-
Jas? In tandem with...aspiration points? :O
AND CHANGING DIAPERS WUT
Head desk! Headdeskheaddeskheaddesk. :DDDDDDD
Mat: Do you mind if I hit you with a spatula while we do the deed?
Jas: LET'S GET TO IT
boyoingyoing
Jas, though lovely, is really gross.
lol I should've made this the teaser pic
wut
lol a fire
you run Mat! you run in those ergonomically designed tightie whities! I knew they'd come in handy (why does he look so happy to be in this situation O_o)
Mat: ew, Midori stinks *drops her*
Geez, I'm sorry for this lengthy and boring update. it gets better, I promise! expect the twins to grow up (well duh) and a toddler Midori! and the usual ISBI antics.