Where are my pills, where is my former lover?
I was about to start this off saying, "well, we're all the same, aren't we?"
We're not.
They're all the same.
I'm different. I've changed. I can't lie about that, as much as I'd love to. I'm fifty times different than the person I was last year, and I'm one hundred times different than the person I was two years ago. Maybe the journal entries don't seem too different. I guess they're not. But everything else is. If back then I was losing it all, by now, I've lost it all. All my friends. (The ones who straight out disowned me, and the ones who conveniently ignore me. I'm not fucking stupid, if you didn't know.) My father. (You could say Independence Day took on a new meaning.) I guess now I'm losing the rest of what I have left. We all used to be close, emphasis on the used to be. My mother is pretty clear she's done with me. I don't know where my sisters went, but, they're gone. Oh and I realized today that I didn't really abandon my favorite band. They abandoned us.
When there's no one left to talk to, you have to draw your own conclusions. Oddly enough, wanting to die for so long has only made me even more afraid of death. I feel like I'm running out of time in many different ways. I need pills for the anxiety but maybe not the depression because I only can prove the anxiety. I still feel like I'm faking it. Obviously I must be because when I still had people they never said a fucking thing about it.
you kids don't fucking listen to say anything, because you obviously fail at music, but there's this part is "yellow cat (slash) red cat" where max is like "ahhhhh SHIT." and as hilarious as it sounds in print it's pretty much like a breakdown in the song.
that's how i feel all the time.
i'd love to post this on myspace.
<3hrbrkshsptl (for reals, maybe)
We're not.
They're all the same.
I'm different. I've changed. I can't lie about that, as much as I'd love to. I'm fifty times different than the person I was last year, and I'm one hundred times different than the person I was two years ago. Maybe the journal entries don't seem too different. I guess they're not. But everything else is. If back then I was losing it all, by now, I've lost it all. All my friends. (The ones who straight out disowned me, and the ones who conveniently ignore me. I'm not fucking stupid, if you didn't know.) My father. (You could say Independence Day took on a new meaning.) I guess now I'm losing the rest of what I have left. We all used to be close, emphasis on the used to be. My mother is pretty clear she's done with me. I don't know where my sisters went, but, they're gone. Oh and I realized today that I didn't really abandon my favorite band. They abandoned us.
When there's no one left to talk to, you have to draw your own conclusions. Oddly enough, wanting to die for so long has only made me even more afraid of death. I feel like I'm running out of time in many different ways. I need pills for the anxiety but maybe not the depression because I only can prove the anxiety. I still feel like I'm faking it. Obviously I must be because when I still had people they never said a fucking thing about it.
you kids don't fucking listen to say anything, because you obviously fail at music, but there's this part is "yellow cat (slash) red cat" where max is like "ahhhhh SHIT." and as hilarious as it sounds in print it's pretty much like a breakdown in the song.
that's how i feel all the time.
i'd love to post this on myspace.
<3hrbrkshsptl (for reals, maybe)