Thelma and Louise ficathon
TITLE: A Lesson in Tactics
AUTHOR: officersun524
RATING: PG
REQUEST ANSWERED: SG1-Vala/Carter
RECIPIENT: Isabelle
Story/author notes: First of all, many thanks to sarahjane for beta services. Secondly, much apologies to Isabelle for the lateness of this story. I really had noble intentions of being timely. Truly.
This is my first SG1 fic and first ficathon. I hope everyone enjoys it.-
“I’ve told you!” She strained against the ropes that bound her to a light weight wooden chair. “My name is Vala Mal Doran.”
It should have been easy enough to lift herself from the chair-it didn’t weigh much, she didn’t weigh much. But the woman with whom she sat back to back was tied in the same type of chair-and was currently unconscious.
“Why didn’t anyone tell us P3X-425 had a thriving sex trade, Colonel?” She knew the words were falling on deaf ears at the moment.
Their captors had zapped Colonel Carter almost as soon as they’d walked through the gate. Vala was no coward, but she knew a losing battle when it pointed a zat at her and her only defense was a crumpled heap of green khaki, military gear, and blonde hair at her feet.
Maddeningly enough, the room they were in was empty. There were two doors, neither of which appeared to be of any sturdy material, and a black globe affixed to a join of ceiling and wall, perched like a nest with eyes and mouth.
She knew it could see them, she knew it could speak. So far it hadn’t shown any inclination towards listening.
Vala turned her head as far as she could, tried to look over her shoulder at Carter. All she could catch was a glimpse of hair.
…that one. She’d fetch quite a price.
Vala had heard their captors laughing amongst themselves, pointing in Carter’s direction as they’d dragged her unconscious body between them. For her part, she had been blindfolded, pushed along, grabbed by the arms when she stumbled, until they had both been brought here, and deposited into chairs.
Only then had her blindfold been finally removed.
She’d endured plenty, though she’d never actually prostituted herself for out and out cash. A girl had to have some standards. But somehow she doubted that the Colonel had that little bit of life experience. Clearly, Colonel Samantha Carter would be at a disadvantage in this situation.
“Come on, Colonel Carter…” Vala’s hands were splayed behind her, palms up, fingers free. If she could stretch far enough, she might…be…able to at least tug at Carter’s shirt.
Yes!
Her fingers caught the hem of Carter’s black t-shirt. She pulled-hard-heard the slight tearing of fabric, then a low moan.
“Oh…”
“Colonel Carter?”
“Vala?”
The chairs clattered as Carter jerked awake, the forcefulness of the sudden motion enough to move the chairs about an inch further from where they’d been.
“Where…” Carter pushed against their bonds, pulled Vala into the back of the chair, the ropes pressing into her chest.
“Colonel!”
“What?” The reply was exasperated and breathless.
“You’re cutting off my air. We’re bound together. You push forward; you pull me back towards you.”
Daniel aside, she had to admit that literal or figurative bonds to SG1 team members were becoming a bit tiresome. Much like Daniel, Carter wanted to go one way while she, Vala, had a different direction in mind. And, much like Daniel, Colonel Carter didn’t seem like she’d be open to suggestion.
Obviously a military thing.
Carter sat still. “So where are we?”
“I don’t know. They zapped you, blindfolded me and brought us here.”
Would now be a good time to mention the whole “good price” thing?
Maybe not. Let Carter process it all, as she was wont to do, before they made any other moves.
“We obviously got some bad intel,” Carter said.
Intel!
Yes, the briefing. She’d tried to listen, but had become slightly distracted, surreptitiously studying Daniel and Colonel Mitchell. No, they didn’t look as much as alike as she originally thought; well, maybe they did if they turned a certain way, no…not so much.
Where her thoughts had progressed to Tomin.
Then sick when she thought of Adria.
Attempts to revert back to the simple-Daniel and Colonel Mitchell-had failed her and she’d spent the rest of the briefing trying to keep her breathing steady and her thoughts on the details of Colonel Carter’s mission briefing.
Intel. Would her having paid proper attention kept them out of this situation?
“Vala?”
“Mmm?”
Carter sighed, the sigh of the truly disappointed. “You didn’t listen to the briefing, did you.”
“Uh…um…of course. Fascinating, Colonel, fascinating…”
“It’s okay.” She felt Carter wriggling around; then the Colonel’s fingers were light on the small of her back, reassuring. “I know you’ve been through a lot but-“
“I should have listened.”
“Yes. Exactly.”
Now was as good a time as any, she supposed. “Colonel Carter, I hate to tell you this but I think they-our captors-plan to sell you-“
The chairs nearly came off the floor with Carter’s startled physical response.
“What?” She snorted. “Oh, no. I’ve been down this road before-“
“You?” It was Vala’s turn to jump.
“Oh, yeah. Me.”
“But…but…” Vala tried to think of valid, logical explanations against it. “So, in spite of one’s advances degrees, military rank and ability to save the universe…”
“Yeah?” Carter’s back straightened, her interest piqued.
“It would seem that men are sexist pigs regardless of one’s intellectual and physical capabilities.”
Carter laughed. “More or less. But, that’s for another time. For now…we need a plan to get out of this.”
“I think I may have an idea.”
“Umm…” Vala could hear Carter trying to phrase it just so. “I don’t know, Vala.” The Colonel’s boots tapped the floor. “I mean, there are certain protocols when dealing with alien cultures…”
“We’re tied up! They’re going to sell you! I am absolutely certain your protocols don’t cover that.”
Carter’s shoulders sagged against Vala’s, her feet stilled.
“Colonel Mitchell…”
“…is not coming, Colonel. I do recall that part of the briefing.”
She felt Carter nod. “The part that considers males coming through the gate to be an act of war…”
“…thus bringing us here, and leaving me without a weapon. I have handled weapons before. General Landry must know that.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’re capable-“
“More than capable. Colonel…” She looked down to her left, then right, examining their bonds. “I’m thinking…” She squirmed. “I’m thinking our captors are ‘knot challenged.’”
“Not challenged…?” Carter’s voice had a ‘what the…’ quality to it.
“Stand up, slowly, on my count.” She did a slow count to three then they both slid upwards, back to back.
“Aren’t they watching us?” Carter asked. “That appears to be a surveillance device there in the corner.”
“I thought so too. But I figure we’re out of luck either way. Might as well try to gain some advantage if we can.”
“Something tells me you’ve done this particular thing before.”
“Once or twice, ropes optional.”
Carter apparently was going to let that one slide. They were at a physical impasse, the chair backs too high to easily glide over the top. Their shoulders were touching, back to back, but they were still crouched over the chairs.
“One of these chairs has to go or we’re just going to end up stuck here,” Carter said.
“Can you kick it out of the way?”
Carter sighed. “Not without knocking us both over. Unless…that’s the way to go. To the floor. At least we’ll be away and we can probably wiggle out from there.”
“The floor.” Vala looked down.
The floor was stone, rough and dusty, likely cold and likely hard. Their captors had taken almost every extraneous bit of clothing-jackets, helmets, weapons and left them with t-shirts, pants and shoes…at least they were still dressed. Either way, there wasn’t going to be much to break the fall.
“As you’ve said, we don’t have a lot of choices.”
“Maybe I can slide down.” She tried, but their bindings caught her under the chin and there was little give from this angle. “Okay. Maybe not.”
“On my count.”
Carter had more mass-taller, heavier…Vala looked in dismay at the floor again. “This is gonna hurt.”
“No. I’ll cushion the fall.”
“How are you going to…” Her words were cut off with a thud and an “oof” as they both toppled to the floor, still caught up in the chairs
“Ow…”
“Not so bad, now, was it.” Carter chuckled slightly. “And I think you’re right. I don’t think they do a great job of tying people up.”
Vala felt Carter wiggle around some more, the ropes moving up and down her body until Carter slipped loose, leaving Vala in a tangled mess of rope and chairs.
“Good plan.”
“It worked. That’s always a plus.” Carter knelt down and quickly untangled the mess, then pulled Vala to her feet.
“What?” Vala rubbed her sore arm as she looked at the smile on Carter’s face.
“What?”
“You’re smiling. This is hardly the time…”
“No? Vala, this is what it’s all about.”
Carter put her hands on her hips and surveyed the room. Vala followed her gaze. Stone floors, as noted, stone walls to match, two doors that looked crudely made. The room was small, maybe twelve by twelve. The only incongruity was the globe that perched darkly looking down on them.
“I thought it was about saving the universe.”
“That too. But that’s hard to do when you’re tied up, isn’t it.” She moved towards the doors which were side by side, identical.
“”The universe is infinite, the treasure’s in this pot,’” Vala recited.
“Something like that…these doors…” Carter rubbed her arms. “Any idea of where they lead?”
Vala shook her head then glanced at the black globe. “If they’re watching us, they’re taking their time about moving in. You’d think they’d have stopped us by now.”
“You’d think.” She strode over to the globe then tapped on it. “It’s not active.”
***
“I told you. We should have used disguises.” Mitchell knelt between Daniel and Teal’c, the three of them lined up with hands behind their heads and facing a man who looked like a hairless bear.
“Sorry, Mitchell, but I somehow doubt that any of us would have made convincing women,” Daniel said. “Ugly ones, maybe, but not convincing ones.”
“Indeed, Colonel Mitchell.”
“Hey, speak for yourselves,” Mitchell muttered. He shifted uncomfortably on his knees. “Okay. For the record, I did not say we should dress up like chicks.”
“Colonel Mitchell, I believe your exact words were ‘hey, maybe we should dress up like chicks.’”
“That was a joke, Teal’c.”
“Silence!” Their captor loomed over them. He wasn’t smiling and had a mostly vacant look in his eyes like he wasn’t quite sure what he planned to do next. “Who is the leader?”
“The pretty one.” Daniel nodded his head towards Mitchell.
“You?” He stepped towards Mitchell. “But you are…small…”
“Hey now, come on. Let’s not get personal. Everyone knows size has nothing to do with anything.”
“So sayeth the Colonel,” Daniel said. “Look.” He squinted up at the man. “What’s your name?”
“Ni-dal.”
“Okay. Ni-dal. We’re from a planet called Earth-“
“Two members of our team are missing,” Mitchell said. “And if you don’t want the wrath of Khan to rain on you, you’d best let us go so we can find them.” He turned to Teal’c. “Ever see ‘Wrath of Khan’?”
“Indeed, I have.”
“Silence!” Ni-dal roared again. He remained standing but leaned in, looking like a heavy tree bending in a harsh wind. “You are the enemy.”
“No, no.” Daniel waved his hands then snapped them back behind his head. “We mean…we meant you no harm. We have reason to believe your people may have a key to a certain weapon to defeat a certain, um, force…”
“Way to go, Jackson. Very vague.”
“Ah…you wish to discuss…price?” The man smiled widely like he’d just connected the dots for himself.
“Actually, we wish to discuss our people first,” Mitchell said. “Two women, blonde, brunette.” He pulled at his green BDUs. “Dressed like this.” He nodded towards their weapons at Ni-dal’s feet. “Carrying one of those.”
“Ah…” He smiled again, the smile of the not very bright. “You wish to discuss price…”
“Price again. Listen, they’re a whole mess of trouble. Am I right, Jackson?”
“Oh…” Daniel nodded vigorously. “Oh, right. Right. Lots of trouble. Ni-dal, they’re also people. We don’t sell people so we can’t negotiate a price.”
“Females. Not the same.”
Daniel blinked. “The same?”
“Does he mean the same as other people or not the same as each other?” Mitchell asked.
“I don’t know…and I’m a little afraid to ask.”
“Oh, boy,” Mitchell said. “Don’t you just hate it when the plans don’t go quite as you…well, planned?”
“I believe, Colonel Mitchell, the words ‘this is some rescue’ might be appropriate at this time,” Teal’c said.
“You’re telling me.”
***
Carter walked across the room, not much more than two paces, to where their chairs were scattered on the floor. Grabbing one, she placed it beneath the globe then stood on it, reaching up to the black object on the wall.
“Colonel, I doubt…oh…”
Carter held the object in her hand. It was about the size of a basketball, perfectly smooth and dust free. The only visible marks were Carter’s fingerprints. She held it out.
“It looks like some kind of decoration, more than anything else.” She rolled it between her hands, shook it slightly, her fingers searching for any seams. “Feels hollow. No apparent mechanism.”
“Well…I thought it spoke to me.”
“No. No voice. No nothing.” Carter brought it to her face to get a closer look. “No…”
It blinked like a giant eye. She dropped it to the ground where it rolled to the corner and retracted.
“Let’s get out of here before it sprouts legs.” Carter grabbed Vala’s arm and pulled her towards one of the rough hewn wooden doors. Fifty-fifty chance of an exit? She flung it open. It was clearly storage: fur jackets, zats, staffs, other weaponry Vala didn’t recognize. And a P90 she did recognize, along with the Beretta and hers and Carter’s flak jackets.
“Here.” Carter grabbed the P90 and handed it to Vala, along with two zats, her Kevlar vest, an oversized fur jacket and hat with ear flaps. “Put that on. You can use a zat, right?”
“If the occasion calls for it.”
“It calls for it, I’d say.” Carter put her own gear back on and covered it with a fur pelt of her own, along with the same kind of hat. She pulled it low her over ears and face, her eyes barely visible. “Make sure you put your hair up. Keep your voice low and let me do the talking.”
“Colonel, meaning no disrespect, but I have been in jams before.”
“Oh, I’ve no doubt. I mean…”
“You mean you don’t want me to mess this up.”
“Chain of command. That’s all I’m going to say about it.” She fished a pair of goggles out of the closet, then another and tossed them at Vala. “Put these on too. Might as well do everything we can.”
“This is all very warrior woman,” Vala said.
“You know Mad Max?”
“Mmm. There’s nothing much to do on base but watch cable. And he looks lovely in leather.” Vala looked over her shoulder into the closet. “There’s really nothing more than odds and ends in there.”
“Scavengers.”
“Yes. Fortunately.” She slid past Carter and crouched down, her hands rooting around in the closet until her fingers grasped the object of her search. Standing, she held it up between them.
Under the layer of dust were slightly raised symbols encircling a jewel-like object at the disc’s center. Vala brushed her fingers over the dust. “I believe this might be on the item in question.”
“That’s it,” Carter said quietly. “Good work. Now let’s get out of here.”
She cradled the P90 and opened the other door. This one led onto dusty streets, crowded and relatively primitive. It never ceased to amaze Vala how Ori or Gou’ald could find the least technologically advanced places possible to subjugate. It made sense of course-easier to subjugate.
Was it really so bad, to avoid bloodshed, to get along, to believe in one “true” way? The Ori’s devotees seemed satisfied…weren’t they? Tomin certainly seemed to believe; they protected, they healed, they provided, all in exchange for total devotion.
They burned you alive…
She shook her head. No. What was she thinking? She was just tired of it already, tired of worrying, of searching, of fighting, of thinking of something much bigger than herself and completely out of her control. She’d always run or fought or even worried when necessary, but never on such a grand scale and never when it didn’t involve solely saving her own skin.
That’s not completely true.
You brought the child into the world…formed of your own flesh and blood…
I didn’t ask to-
Perhaps the irony that she’d borne the leader of the galaxy’s latest and most potent threat was just a higher being’s idea of a joke, cosmic in proportion.
Not fair.
People milled about the square, all men, not a woman (at least, not an obvious one) in sight. How could their intelligence have been so wrong? SG1 didn’t make mistakes like that. To send two team members through, one of them unarmed? Were they that desperate?
“You!”
She and Carter came to a dead halt in front of a large man who blocked their path. Vala saw Carter out of the corner of her eye, the P90 moving slowly so that it was level with the ground, and aimed at the man’s considerable girth. There was no doubt that the people of this town seemed well fed. The question of what-or who-they ate was something she preferred not to ponder.
“Where are you going?”
“Chapa Ai. Trade. Come with us?” Carter motioned with the P90 like she was trying to indicate its value. Her voice was slow, chin up. If this man had any brains, he’d see she was a woman…
Brains being the operative word.
He shook his head. “Help Ni-dal. Prisoners from the Chapa Ai.” He pointed like a small child. Carter nodded at him, glanced at Vala and motioned to follow him. She started behind Carter but the man grabbed her arm.
“You.”
“Mine.” Carter grabbed her other arm and pulled.
Vala stumbled forward and raised her eyebrows in a question at Carter, who looked past her at the man’s face, her eyes narrowed in what looked like a challenge.
The man shrugged. “Too scrawny for fighting. Much luck.” He released Vala and trudged forward towards the gate.
Carter tugged her arm and they pushed forward, following him through the forest.
“Scrawny?” Vala huffed.
“What say?” He stopped and glanced back.
Carter shook her head. “Young ones.” She shrugged. “Go.”
He narrowed his eyes; then started forward again.
“Well, apparently big, blind and inarticulate will work to our advantage,” Vala whispered. “I don’t think either of us makes a very convincing male.”
“As long as he and his friend believe. But you’d better let me do the talking.”
“Limiting myself to one word could prove difficult.”
“Tell me about it. I’m just trying to channel my inner Teal’c. For a man of few words, he says quite a bit.”
Vala nodded; then bit her lip. “What he said…about prisoners…”
Carter nodded. “My thought exactly. I suspect this will be the extraction of the extraction team.”
“They came after us.” She chuckled. “How chivalrous of them.”
***
“You know, this is getting mighty uncomfortable.”
Mitchell’s voice was loud and held a hint of irritation behind the attempted good humor. Vala could hear it as they approached.
“You. Quiet. No more talk.”
Another bear of a man waited in the clearing near the Stargate, a P90 trained on the three figures kneeling in front of him. All three wore green BDUs, all three knelt with their hands behind their heads, their own P90s at the man’s feet, with the exception of the one he held.
“Fish in a barrel,” Vala muttered.
“What?”
“Colonel Mitchell. I’ve heard him say it. ‘Fish in a barrel’. There’s no place for escape. You walk through the gate and whoever’s on the other side zats you the moment you come through then takes whatever you have of value. Quite effective. We never saw it coming and apparently neither did they.”
The argument in the clearing continued. “Look, Ni-dal. I’m not threatening any scorched earth tactics here, but how about a trade. Me for our missing team members.”
“Females. Higher price. You no good trade.”
“That breaks my heart.”
“No. More. Talk.”
Their leader stopped and pointed. “Prisoners. Go.”
Carter shook her head. “Follow you, leader.”
He shrugged then started forward.
Carter hung back, her arm out, holding Vala back. “We’re not going to have much time. Do you have the device?”
“Of course.”
“Zat?”
Vala nodded and reached into the coat for the zat. “I’ll take down the one who called me scrawny. That other guy’s yours.”
Carter nodded. They stepped past the last of the trees and into the clearing. The man had almost caught up to Ni-dal. Two more steps and…..
Yes!
“You brought back up, huh...” Mitchell trailed off as Vala and Carter closed the distance.
“Oh…hey, Ni-dal…
“One…” Carter raised her zat, Vala following suit.
“This one I will shoot. Talk, talk, talk!”
“Two…” Fingers on triggers.
“No, that’s really not necessary,” Daniel said.
“Necessary.” Ni-dal rested the butt of the P90 on his shoulder.
“Three!”
Two blasts, two loud thumps, and their captors were out cold.
“Sam!” Mitchell jumped to his feet. “We gotta get out of here.” He pulled the P90 from Ni-dal’s slack fingers as the others scrambled for their gear and Carter dialed the gate.
“Mission accomplished.” Vala nodded at Carter in satisfaction as they stepped through.
***
“Good work, Colonel Carter. Vala.” Landry nodded at them from where he sat at the head of the conference table. In the middle of the table rested the object of their quest, inert and nondescript. Leaning forward, he looked at Daniel. “Have you deciphered that thing yet, Dr. Jackson?”
“Not quite finished, sir. So far it seems to be just another piece of a larger puzzle. An integral piece, to be sure, but still, nothing on its own.”
“Part of a larger piece, right Daniel?” Vala said. “Like, say, certain people in this room, willing to prove their value as part of a larger group, worthless…well, maybe not completely worthless but certainly-“
Landry held up his hands, a tight smile on his face. She heard Carter, sitting to her right, clear her throat.
“Yes, yes,” Landry said.
Vala glanced at Carter who was trying to hide a smile. Vala raised her eyebrows-Carter shrugged.
“General Landry, I’d like to present a case for allowing me to carry a weapon next time,” Vala began.
“Already in Colonel Carter’s report. I’m taking it under advisement. Glad you all made it back safe and sound.” He stood, Mitchell and Carter following suit, then waved them down as he left the room.
“You know, we would have found you,” Mitchell said, leaning back in his chair.
“Before they grabbed us, that was the plan,” Daniel added.
“Indeed.”
“Teal’c said you thought about coming through dressed as women, Cam,” Carter said.
Mitchell groaned. “That was a joke. Come on, Teal’c. A joke.”
“Indeed, Colonel Mitchell. So was that.”
Carter stood and tapped Vala on the shoulder. “Come on. We have some things to take care of. ‘Girl stuff.’”
“Girl stuff?” Daniel said. “Sam? You didn’t let her talk you into…”
“What, Daniel?” Vala said.
“Well…I don’t know what but, you didn’t let her talk you into it, did you?”
“The shooting range. Those Berettas take some getting used to.”
Vala stood. “Daniel, for the record, I think you would have made a lovely woman. Don’t you think so, Colonel Carter?”
Carter smiled. “I hope I never have to find out.”
END
AUTHOR: officersun524
RATING: PG
REQUEST ANSWERED: SG1-Vala/Carter
RECIPIENT: Isabelle
Story/author notes: First of all, many thanks to sarahjane for beta services. Secondly, much apologies to Isabelle for the lateness of this story. I really had noble intentions of being timely. Truly.
This is my first SG1 fic and first ficathon. I hope everyone enjoys it.-
“I’ve told you!” She strained against the ropes that bound her to a light weight wooden chair. “My name is Vala Mal Doran.”
It should have been easy enough to lift herself from the chair-it didn’t weigh much, she didn’t weigh much. But the woman with whom she sat back to back was tied in the same type of chair-and was currently unconscious.
“Why didn’t anyone tell us P3X-425 had a thriving sex trade, Colonel?” She knew the words were falling on deaf ears at the moment.
Their captors had zapped Colonel Carter almost as soon as they’d walked through the gate. Vala was no coward, but she knew a losing battle when it pointed a zat at her and her only defense was a crumpled heap of green khaki, military gear, and blonde hair at her feet.
Maddeningly enough, the room they were in was empty. There were two doors, neither of which appeared to be of any sturdy material, and a black globe affixed to a join of ceiling and wall, perched like a nest with eyes and mouth.
She knew it could see them, she knew it could speak. So far it hadn’t shown any inclination towards listening.
Vala turned her head as far as she could, tried to look over her shoulder at Carter. All she could catch was a glimpse of hair.
…that one. She’d fetch quite a price.
Vala had heard their captors laughing amongst themselves, pointing in Carter’s direction as they’d dragged her unconscious body between them. For her part, she had been blindfolded, pushed along, grabbed by the arms when she stumbled, until they had both been brought here, and deposited into chairs.
Only then had her blindfold been finally removed.
She’d endured plenty, though she’d never actually prostituted herself for out and out cash. A girl had to have some standards. But somehow she doubted that the Colonel had that little bit of life experience. Clearly, Colonel Samantha Carter would be at a disadvantage in this situation.
“Come on, Colonel Carter…” Vala’s hands were splayed behind her, palms up, fingers free. If she could stretch far enough, she might…be…able to at least tug at Carter’s shirt.
Yes!
Her fingers caught the hem of Carter’s black t-shirt. She pulled-hard-heard the slight tearing of fabric, then a low moan.
“Oh…”
“Colonel Carter?”
“Vala?”
The chairs clattered as Carter jerked awake, the forcefulness of the sudden motion enough to move the chairs about an inch further from where they’d been.
“Where…” Carter pushed against their bonds, pulled Vala into the back of the chair, the ropes pressing into her chest.
“Colonel!”
“What?” The reply was exasperated and breathless.
“You’re cutting off my air. We’re bound together. You push forward; you pull me back towards you.”
Daniel aside, she had to admit that literal or figurative bonds to SG1 team members were becoming a bit tiresome. Much like Daniel, Carter wanted to go one way while she, Vala, had a different direction in mind. And, much like Daniel, Colonel Carter didn’t seem like she’d be open to suggestion.
Obviously a military thing.
Carter sat still. “So where are we?”
“I don’t know. They zapped you, blindfolded me and brought us here.”
Would now be a good time to mention the whole “good price” thing?
Maybe not. Let Carter process it all, as she was wont to do, before they made any other moves.
“We obviously got some bad intel,” Carter said.
Intel!
Yes, the briefing. She’d tried to listen, but had become slightly distracted, surreptitiously studying Daniel and Colonel Mitchell. No, they didn’t look as much as alike as she originally thought; well, maybe they did if they turned a certain way, no…not so much.
Where her thoughts had progressed to Tomin.
Then sick when she thought of Adria.
Attempts to revert back to the simple-Daniel and Colonel Mitchell-had failed her and she’d spent the rest of the briefing trying to keep her breathing steady and her thoughts on the details of Colonel Carter’s mission briefing.
Intel. Would her having paid proper attention kept them out of this situation?
“Vala?”
“Mmm?”
Carter sighed, the sigh of the truly disappointed. “You didn’t listen to the briefing, did you.”
“Uh…um…of course. Fascinating, Colonel, fascinating…”
“It’s okay.” She felt Carter wriggling around; then the Colonel’s fingers were light on the small of her back, reassuring. “I know you’ve been through a lot but-“
“I should have listened.”
“Yes. Exactly.”
Now was as good a time as any, she supposed. “Colonel Carter, I hate to tell you this but I think they-our captors-plan to sell you-“
The chairs nearly came off the floor with Carter’s startled physical response.
“What?” She snorted. “Oh, no. I’ve been down this road before-“
“You?” It was Vala’s turn to jump.
“Oh, yeah. Me.”
“But…but…” Vala tried to think of valid, logical explanations against it. “So, in spite of one’s advances degrees, military rank and ability to save the universe…”
“Yeah?” Carter’s back straightened, her interest piqued.
“It would seem that men are sexist pigs regardless of one’s intellectual and physical capabilities.”
Carter laughed. “More or less. But, that’s for another time. For now…we need a plan to get out of this.”
“I think I may have an idea.”
“Umm…” Vala could hear Carter trying to phrase it just so. “I don’t know, Vala.” The Colonel’s boots tapped the floor. “I mean, there are certain protocols when dealing with alien cultures…”
“We’re tied up! They’re going to sell you! I am absolutely certain your protocols don’t cover that.”
Carter’s shoulders sagged against Vala’s, her feet stilled.
“Colonel Mitchell…”
“…is not coming, Colonel. I do recall that part of the briefing.”
She felt Carter nod. “The part that considers males coming through the gate to be an act of war…”
“…thus bringing us here, and leaving me without a weapon. I have handled weapons before. General Landry must know that.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’re capable-“
“More than capable. Colonel…” She looked down to her left, then right, examining their bonds. “I’m thinking…” She squirmed. “I’m thinking our captors are ‘knot challenged.’”
“Not challenged…?” Carter’s voice had a ‘what the…’ quality to it.
“Stand up, slowly, on my count.” She did a slow count to three then they both slid upwards, back to back.
“Aren’t they watching us?” Carter asked. “That appears to be a surveillance device there in the corner.”
“I thought so too. But I figure we’re out of luck either way. Might as well try to gain some advantage if we can.”
“Something tells me you’ve done this particular thing before.”
“Once or twice, ropes optional.”
Carter apparently was going to let that one slide. They were at a physical impasse, the chair backs too high to easily glide over the top. Their shoulders were touching, back to back, but they were still crouched over the chairs.
“One of these chairs has to go or we’re just going to end up stuck here,” Carter said.
“Can you kick it out of the way?”
Carter sighed. “Not without knocking us both over. Unless…that’s the way to go. To the floor. At least we’ll be away and we can probably wiggle out from there.”
“The floor.” Vala looked down.
The floor was stone, rough and dusty, likely cold and likely hard. Their captors had taken almost every extraneous bit of clothing-jackets, helmets, weapons and left them with t-shirts, pants and shoes…at least they were still dressed. Either way, there wasn’t going to be much to break the fall.
“As you’ve said, we don’t have a lot of choices.”
“Maybe I can slide down.” She tried, but their bindings caught her under the chin and there was little give from this angle. “Okay. Maybe not.”
“On my count.”
Carter had more mass-taller, heavier…Vala looked in dismay at the floor again. “This is gonna hurt.”
“No. I’ll cushion the fall.”
“How are you going to…” Her words were cut off with a thud and an “oof” as they both toppled to the floor, still caught up in the chairs
“Ow…”
“Not so bad, now, was it.” Carter chuckled slightly. “And I think you’re right. I don’t think they do a great job of tying people up.”
Vala felt Carter wiggle around some more, the ropes moving up and down her body until Carter slipped loose, leaving Vala in a tangled mess of rope and chairs.
“Good plan.”
“It worked. That’s always a plus.” Carter knelt down and quickly untangled the mess, then pulled Vala to her feet.
“What?” Vala rubbed her sore arm as she looked at the smile on Carter’s face.
“What?”
“You’re smiling. This is hardly the time…”
“No? Vala, this is what it’s all about.”
Carter put her hands on her hips and surveyed the room. Vala followed her gaze. Stone floors, as noted, stone walls to match, two doors that looked crudely made. The room was small, maybe twelve by twelve. The only incongruity was the globe that perched darkly looking down on them.
“I thought it was about saving the universe.”
“That too. But that’s hard to do when you’re tied up, isn’t it.” She moved towards the doors which were side by side, identical.
“”The universe is infinite, the treasure’s in this pot,’” Vala recited.
“Something like that…these doors…” Carter rubbed her arms. “Any idea of where they lead?”
Vala shook her head then glanced at the black globe. “If they’re watching us, they’re taking their time about moving in. You’d think they’d have stopped us by now.”
“You’d think.” She strode over to the globe then tapped on it. “It’s not active.”
***
“I told you. We should have used disguises.” Mitchell knelt between Daniel and Teal’c, the three of them lined up with hands behind their heads and facing a man who looked like a hairless bear.
“Sorry, Mitchell, but I somehow doubt that any of us would have made convincing women,” Daniel said. “Ugly ones, maybe, but not convincing ones.”
“Indeed, Colonel Mitchell.”
“Hey, speak for yourselves,” Mitchell muttered. He shifted uncomfortably on his knees. “Okay. For the record, I did not say we should dress up like chicks.”
“Colonel Mitchell, I believe your exact words were ‘hey, maybe we should dress up like chicks.’”
“That was a joke, Teal’c.”
“Silence!” Their captor loomed over them. He wasn’t smiling and had a mostly vacant look in his eyes like he wasn’t quite sure what he planned to do next. “Who is the leader?”
“The pretty one.” Daniel nodded his head towards Mitchell.
“You?” He stepped towards Mitchell. “But you are…small…”
“Hey now, come on. Let’s not get personal. Everyone knows size has nothing to do with anything.”
“So sayeth the Colonel,” Daniel said. “Look.” He squinted up at the man. “What’s your name?”
“Ni-dal.”
“Okay. Ni-dal. We’re from a planet called Earth-“
“Two members of our team are missing,” Mitchell said. “And if you don’t want the wrath of Khan to rain on you, you’d best let us go so we can find them.” He turned to Teal’c. “Ever see ‘Wrath of Khan’?”
“Indeed, I have.”
“Silence!” Ni-dal roared again. He remained standing but leaned in, looking like a heavy tree bending in a harsh wind. “You are the enemy.”
“No, no.” Daniel waved his hands then snapped them back behind his head. “We mean…we meant you no harm. We have reason to believe your people may have a key to a certain weapon to defeat a certain, um, force…”
“Way to go, Jackson. Very vague.”
“Ah…you wish to discuss…price?” The man smiled widely like he’d just connected the dots for himself.
“Actually, we wish to discuss our people first,” Mitchell said. “Two women, blonde, brunette.” He pulled at his green BDUs. “Dressed like this.” He nodded towards their weapons at Ni-dal’s feet. “Carrying one of those.”
“Ah…” He smiled again, the smile of the not very bright. “You wish to discuss price…”
“Price again. Listen, they’re a whole mess of trouble. Am I right, Jackson?”
“Oh…” Daniel nodded vigorously. “Oh, right. Right. Lots of trouble. Ni-dal, they’re also people. We don’t sell people so we can’t negotiate a price.”
“Females. Not the same.”
Daniel blinked. “The same?”
“Does he mean the same as other people or not the same as each other?” Mitchell asked.
“I don’t know…and I’m a little afraid to ask.”
“Oh, boy,” Mitchell said. “Don’t you just hate it when the plans don’t go quite as you…well, planned?”
“I believe, Colonel Mitchell, the words ‘this is some rescue’ might be appropriate at this time,” Teal’c said.
“You’re telling me.”
***
Carter walked across the room, not much more than two paces, to where their chairs were scattered on the floor. Grabbing one, she placed it beneath the globe then stood on it, reaching up to the black object on the wall.
“Colonel, I doubt…oh…”
Carter held the object in her hand. It was about the size of a basketball, perfectly smooth and dust free. The only visible marks were Carter’s fingerprints. She held it out.
“It looks like some kind of decoration, more than anything else.” She rolled it between her hands, shook it slightly, her fingers searching for any seams. “Feels hollow. No apparent mechanism.”
“Well…I thought it spoke to me.”
“No. No voice. No nothing.” Carter brought it to her face to get a closer look. “No…”
It blinked like a giant eye. She dropped it to the ground where it rolled to the corner and retracted.
“Let’s get out of here before it sprouts legs.” Carter grabbed Vala’s arm and pulled her towards one of the rough hewn wooden doors. Fifty-fifty chance of an exit? She flung it open. It was clearly storage: fur jackets, zats, staffs, other weaponry Vala didn’t recognize. And a P90 she did recognize, along with the Beretta and hers and Carter’s flak jackets.
“Here.” Carter grabbed the P90 and handed it to Vala, along with two zats, her Kevlar vest, an oversized fur jacket and hat with ear flaps. “Put that on. You can use a zat, right?”
“If the occasion calls for it.”
“It calls for it, I’d say.” Carter put her own gear back on and covered it with a fur pelt of her own, along with the same kind of hat. She pulled it low her over ears and face, her eyes barely visible. “Make sure you put your hair up. Keep your voice low and let me do the talking.”
“Colonel, meaning no disrespect, but I have been in jams before.”
“Oh, I’ve no doubt. I mean…”
“You mean you don’t want me to mess this up.”
“Chain of command. That’s all I’m going to say about it.” She fished a pair of goggles out of the closet, then another and tossed them at Vala. “Put these on too. Might as well do everything we can.”
“This is all very warrior woman,” Vala said.
“You know Mad Max?”
“Mmm. There’s nothing much to do on base but watch cable. And he looks lovely in leather.” Vala looked over her shoulder into the closet. “There’s really nothing more than odds and ends in there.”
“Scavengers.”
“Yes. Fortunately.” She slid past Carter and crouched down, her hands rooting around in the closet until her fingers grasped the object of her search. Standing, she held it up between them.
Under the layer of dust were slightly raised symbols encircling a jewel-like object at the disc’s center. Vala brushed her fingers over the dust. “I believe this might be on the item in question.”
“That’s it,” Carter said quietly. “Good work. Now let’s get out of here.”
She cradled the P90 and opened the other door. This one led onto dusty streets, crowded and relatively primitive. It never ceased to amaze Vala how Ori or Gou’ald could find the least technologically advanced places possible to subjugate. It made sense of course-easier to subjugate.
Was it really so bad, to avoid bloodshed, to get along, to believe in one “true” way? The Ori’s devotees seemed satisfied…weren’t they? Tomin certainly seemed to believe; they protected, they healed, they provided, all in exchange for total devotion.
They burned you alive…
She shook her head. No. What was she thinking? She was just tired of it already, tired of worrying, of searching, of fighting, of thinking of something much bigger than herself and completely out of her control. She’d always run or fought or even worried when necessary, but never on such a grand scale and never when it didn’t involve solely saving her own skin.
That’s not completely true.
You brought the child into the world…formed of your own flesh and blood…
I didn’t ask to-
Perhaps the irony that she’d borne the leader of the galaxy’s latest and most potent threat was just a higher being’s idea of a joke, cosmic in proportion.
Not fair.
People milled about the square, all men, not a woman (at least, not an obvious one) in sight. How could their intelligence have been so wrong? SG1 didn’t make mistakes like that. To send two team members through, one of them unarmed? Were they that desperate?
“You!”
She and Carter came to a dead halt in front of a large man who blocked their path. Vala saw Carter out of the corner of her eye, the P90 moving slowly so that it was level with the ground, and aimed at the man’s considerable girth. There was no doubt that the people of this town seemed well fed. The question of what-or who-they ate was something she preferred not to ponder.
“Where are you going?”
“Chapa Ai. Trade. Come with us?” Carter motioned with the P90 like she was trying to indicate its value. Her voice was slow, chin up. If this man had any brains, he’d see she was a woman…
Brains being the operative word.
He shook his head. “Help Ni-dal. Prisoners from the Chapa Ai.” He pointed like a small child. Carter nodded at him, glanced at Vala and motioned to follow him. She started behind Carter but the man grabbed her arm.
“You.”
“Mine.” Carter grabbed her other arm and pulled.
Vala stumbled forward and raised her eyebrows in a question at Carter, who looked past her at the man’s face, her eyes narrowed in what looked like a challenge.
The man shrugged. “Too scrawny for fighting. Much luck.” He released Vala and trudged forward towards the gate.
Carter tugged her arm and they pushed forward, following him through the forest.
“Scrawny?” Vala huffed.
“What say?” He stopped and glanced back.
Carter shook her head. “Young ones.” She shrugged. “Go.”
He narrowed his eyes; then started forward again.
“Well, apparently big, blind and inarticulate will work to our advantage,” Vala whispered. “I don’t think either of us makes a very convincing male.”
“As long as he and his friend believe. But you’d better let me do the talking.”
“Limiting myself to one word could prove difficult.”
“Tell me about it. I’m just trying to channel my inner Teal’c. For a man of few words, he says quite a bit.”
Vala nodded; then bit her lip. “What he said…about prisoners…”
Carter nodded. “My thought exactly. I suspect this will be the extraction of the extraction team.”
“They came after us.” She chuckled. “How chivalrous of them.”
***
“You know, this is getting mighty uncomfortable.”
Mitchell’s voice was loud and held a hint of irritation behind the attempted good humor. Vala could hear it as they approached.
“You. Quiet. No more talk.”
Another bear of a man waited in the clearing near the Stargate, a P90 trained on the three figures kneeling in front of him. All three wore green BDUs, all three knelt with their hands behind their heads, their own P90s at the man’s feet, with the exception of the one he held.
“Fish in a barrel,” Vala muttered.
“What?”
“Colonel Mitchell. I’ve heard him say it. ‘Fish in a barrel’. There’s no place for escape. You walk through the gate and whoever’s on the other side zats you the moment you come through then takes whatever you have of value. Quite effective. We never saw it coming and apparently neither did they.”
The argument in the clearing continued. “Look, Ni-dal. I’m not threatening any scorched earth tactics here, but how about a trade. Me for our missing team members.”
“Females. Higher price. You no good trade.”
“That breaks my heart.”
“No. More. Talk.”
Their leader stopped and pointed. “Prisoners. Go.”
Carter shook her head. “Follow you, leader.”
He shrugged then started forward.
Carter hung back, her arm out, holding Vala back. “We’re not going to have much time. Do you have the device?”
“Of course.”
“Zat?”
Vala nodded and reached into the coat for the zat. “I’ll take down the one who called me scrawny. That other guy’s yours.”
Carter nodded. They stepped past the last of the trees and into the clearing. The man had almost caught up to Ni-dal. Two more steps and…..
Yes!
“You brought back up, huh...” Mitchell trailed off as Vala and Carter closed the distance.
“Oh…hey, Ni-dal…
“One…” Carter raised her zat, Vala following suit.
“This one I will shoot. Talk, talk, talk!”
“Two…” Fingers on triggers.
“No, that’s really not necessary,” Daniel said.
“Necessary.” Ni-dal rested the butt of the P90 on his shoulder.
“Three!”
Two blasts, two loud thumps, and their captors were out cold.
“Sam!” Mitchell jumped to his feet. “We gotta get out of here.” He pulled the P90 from Ni-dal’s slack fingers as the others scrambled for their gear and Carter dialed the gate.
“Mission accomplished.” Vala nodded at Carter in satisfaction as they stepped through.
***
“Good work, Colonel Carter. Vala.” Landry nodded at them from where he sat at the head of the conference table. In the middle of the table rested the object of their quest, inert and nondescript. Leaning forward, he looked at Daniel. “Have you deciphered that thing yet, Dr. Jackson?”
“Not quite finished, sir. So far it seems to be just another piece of a larger puzzle. An integral piece, to be sure, but still, nothing on its own.”
“Part of a larger piece, right Daniel?” Vala said. “Like, say, certain people in this room, willing to prove their value as part of a larger group, worthless…well, maybe not completely worthless but certainly-“
Landry held up his hands, a tight smile on his face. She heard Carter, sitting to her right, clear her throat.
“Yes, yes,” Landry said.
Vala glanced at Carter who was trying to hide a smile. Vala raised her eyebrows-Carter shrugged.
“General Landry, I’d like to present a case for allowing me to carry a weapon next time,” Vala began.
“Already in Colonel Carter’s report. I’m taking it under advisement. Glad you all made it back safe and sound.” He stood, Mitchell and Carter following suit, then waved them down as he left the room.
“You know, we would have found you,” Mitchell said, leaning back in his chair.
“Before they grabbed us, that was the plan,” Daniel added.
“Indeed.”
“Teal’c said you thought about coming through dressed as women, Cam,” Carter said.
Mitchell groaned. “That was a joke. Come on, Teal’c. A joke.”
“Indeed, Colonel Mitchell. So was that.”
Carter stood and tapped Vala on the shoulder. “Come on. We have some things to take care of. ‘Girl stuff.’”
“Girl stuff?” Daniel said. “Sam? You didn’t let her talk you into…”
“What, Daniel?” Vala said.
“Well…I don’t know what but, you didn’t let her talk you into it, did you?”
“The shooting range. Those Berettas take some getting used to.”
Vala stood. “Daniel, for the record, I think you would have made a lovely woman. Don’t you think so, Colonel Carter?”
Carter smiled. “I hope I never have to find out.”
END