6.26: Whistleblower and GREATEST HITS
Welcome back to Office seasons, meta-ing denizens of the world! I know I know. Anyways, because the season finale was (unfortunately, true to form) sadly lacking in the me compiling things department, I bring you a short recap (and I mean shooooooort! Cmon guys, I’ll take wittingly scathing criticism if that’s all you’ll give me! I mean, positive meta is fun, but whatever... it doesn’t have to be long, as few lines as you want! Or as many!). To demonstrate my neverending love and devotion to you all, I’ve also done a greatest hits, totally subjective of course, so to speak, of office metas. Because I have that power. By the way, the snap feature on Windows 7 is my new favourite thing in the world for making these things work.
6.26: Whistleblower
I can honestly say that I didn't even think of chatterbox Kelly as being the whistleblower, because other than joining Sabre's minority executive program, what has she done all season? I mean, it's so easy to forget about her. fairandbright
The Office - I enjoyed it. Especially the IT guy (who really, really reminded me of a white John Lloyd Cruz, which tells me I've probably been watching too much of these Filipino soap operas and films)firthgal
On second thought, maybe Toby is the Scranton Strangler. I'm surprised Michael hasn't considered the possibility. rainbowstevie
The show can't end until Jim & Pam have at least two kids. Anything Scrubs gets, I want too. And frankly, I believe Scrubs wound up with five or six babies total, and we're only at three here if you count Karen's. So.rainbowstevie
GREATEST HITS, BECAUSE WHO NEEDS SLEEP ANYWAYS?
I think Pam has two beers, and at least three margaritas. Now, I've been to Chili's, and those margaritas are ginormous. I drink single malt scotch, none of that sissy stuff for me, but I could not finish my margarita at Chili's. I have to give Pam props for even being able to stand up, never mind aim for Jim's lips.
paper_jam11
Michael calls prostitutes "ladies of the night". Vampires everywhere are offended.
dawn_xx
Okay, I don't know if you've ever seen the part of the beet that is above ground, but it isn't exactly nice foliage upon which I would chose to engage in sexual intercourse. It's kind of dense and rough and fiber-y. If I had to have sex on any crop, I'm thinking it would be strawberries. Nice cushioning. Also, if you got the munchies once you'd done the deed? Instant snack.
chibirhm
My question is: Does Dwight just have "Everybody Hurts" cued up on eight-track for occasions like these? Like when beet sales are down, or when Michael insults him, or when Angela checks the "no" box on his "Do you like me?" note (such a tease).
swayinisdancin
I think it's still a date even if the girl does go home to her fiance. It's just the kind of date you'll someday be on Ricky Lake for.
calexical
How did Kelly go from having a special talent for buying the world's most hideous shirts, to being the office fashion maven? I mean, at this point, Phyllis arguably has better fashion sense than Kelly. I can't believe Kelly would be caught dead in a store that even sold that shirt, never mind that she would actually wear it to Jim's house (the clear winner in her game of Who would you do?) Does she have some kind of romantic death wish?
Wait. Don't answer that.
paper_jam11
"What is she so upset about?"
"Maybe it's because you hated her gift so much."
Hi, pot? This is teapot. You're teal.
swayinisdancin
I don't know if I've mentioned this, but for the last few episodes, Mom's been taping The Office when she watches it, then she'll call me when it's about to start here and we'll watch it together over the phone. Tonight, we disagreed slightly, because she does not see the awesomeness inherent in a Pam/NewRoyNowWithFacialHair one night stand. Pretty much I ignored her and kept squealing into the phone, though. What was I supposed to do, debate one night stands with my MOTHER?
dudski
I almost felt sorry for the bat; had he known he'd be battling a stake-weilding Dwight and Creed, he'd probably have flown away like....well, a bat out of hell.
swayinisdancin
I wonder how many weird nighttime visitors this poor child has had to be completely unfazed by a creepy man in his rocking chair, accompanied by a camera crew?
dawn_xx
And I think I'm going to start calling Jim and Pam James and Pamela, not because they're growing up, but because they're acting even more immature. You know how when your parents get mad at you they call you by your full name? Yeah. Shake them, call them by their full names, ground them. One of those tactics has to work.
falulatonks
A "DEPRESSION QUILT"?? Seriously? I wonder if Dwight thought of that first because he grew up with "emotion quilts" as a child. If he was being punished, he had to sleep under the GUILT QUILT which was made of scratchy wool. And if he killed a possum then he got to share the VICTORY QUILT with Mose and it was made of scraps of old clothes.
noblealice
Did anyone else notice the writers can only add up to eleven, though? Jim's outfit was $11, Kevin forgot how to add to $11 on the payroll form... is it some kind of really weird writers' room joke?
dawn_xx
Is it really bad that I saw Jim say "Hey" to Pam and counted it as a personal victory?
chibirhm
Let today be known as the day Pamela Beesly killed me, and I was thankful for it.
sundancekid
If he did ditch her - how the HELL are they going to convey that? A talking head? "I left New York without giving Karen so much as a phone call, and on the entire two hour drive back it never occurred to me that I had ditched her, and she never called to see what was up, and instead she sat on a corner waiting for me in the rain for hours and hours until eventually she hitched a ride home in a truck that was transporting chickens."
dudski
I'm convinced that the costume people were thinking of ME when they gave Fancy New Beasley fancy new and adorable shoes. Because as much as I have fondness for the whitest keds, they just had to go, man. They were like Veronica Mars and her hair, you know? Those shoes represented Pam's inner anguish. She is now reborn as a better woman. Or she just visited Zappos.com. Whatever.
chibirhm
The fact that Jim can say something like "Wow, we should have started dating like, a long time ago" without things getting all angsty, suggests to me that they've had some great talks about things, and worked through a lot of stuff. Also, it's really weird hearing Jim Halpert say that to Pam Beesly. What is this strange and wonderful world I'm living in?
paper_jam11
Poor Dwight. He's all unshaven and depressed. The poor guy has to overhear Angela trying to move on at every turn. He's just letting himself go over this break-up. I'm mostly concerned for the beets. Who is going to care for those poor vegetables if he can't? And the pelts he hides bear horns underneath, do you think those are from other cats he's murdered?
cashewdani
This episode has now ruined grammar for me. I will never be able to use whom/who in the proper way again. I think the writers used my linguistic skills as an object.
secondrink
I originally thought that Andy was hoping everyone else would join with the "kit! kat! bar!" and was faking his brain fart. When I realized that he genuinely couldn't remember the subject of the most memorable commercial jingle EVER I peed a little. That was AMAZING. The only thing that could have improved the running gag was someone giving Andy a Kit-Kat and having it STILL not click in.
themightybee
Michael's reputation must have spread all over the country from paper company to paper company of the man who hit his employee with his car. I think I recently heard someone mention the event in a Staples, but that may have been my imagination.
dreamingwriter
It kind of totally cracks me up how seemingly turned on Pam gets by Jim getting ideas. Like, she literally sashays up to him just for the purpose of being like "So... I hear you have an idea. I have an idea too. It involves pants, ie, me not wearing them" and that, boys and girls, is the real reason Jim tries and take initiative. It's Pavlovian, in a way.
chibirhm
The smack vs. trash discussion from Kelly is very true, and honestly were his parents first cousins who were also bad at ping pong? is perhaps the best put down ever. I will vary it appropriately to work in all social situations.
cashewdani
It was a lot like watching watching Jim and Pam go through their very own version of the Sawmovies. THINK ABOUT IT. They get tricked into entering this situation that just gets increasingly more awkward and painful as the night goes on, and they're completely subject to whatever bizarre little game Michael and Jan are playing with each other. Jim attempts to throw Pam to the wolves and run for it, BUT HE CANNOT ESCAPE.
dudski
I couldn't even live in my squee-induced bubble for one day before I got to my first class on Friday and had to put up with a bunch of girls talking about how Office has just been all downhill since season 2, and how Jim/Pam are clearly about to break up soon. IT'S JIM/PAM. They do not follow the rules of normal TV relationships any more than Joe/Alison or Charlie/Amita do (Charmita, that was not a jinx, so don't even think about it).
And why does nobody care that Turk and Carla managed to meet, date, and get married without immediately causing Scrubs to explode in flames? In a related note, Chandler and Monica did not destroy the infrastructure of Friends. And How I Met Your Mother is currently thriving with Mr. & Mrs. Erickson, and they only dealt with one year of angst.
Yes, it vaguely worries me that they've gone along without any particular conflicts so far, but can't we all agree not to care? I know at the time "Casino Night" must have seemed like a godsend and then "Gay Witch Hunt" was the cruelest knife twist ever, but I refuse to believe that's happening again. And why would you even want to entertain the thought? Shut up and squee, dammit!
rainbowstevie
dudski : Mindy Kaling, why can't we be best friends?
irishmizzy : What I'm saying is, Mindy Kaling, will you wait for me while I tie my shoe?
Was I the only one who laughed when Jim said that he supported the Eagles franchise by a wingand a prayer? AHAHAHA. WINGS.
I am such a laugh slut for Jim. It's ridiculous.
chibirhm
Is it a requirement now that Pam must wear her hair in a ponytail in the second-to-last episode of the season? Does this give her the energy and courage needed to do something audacious during the episode? Like walk across coals and make out with her boyfriend in the office? Whatever works, girl.
swayinisdancin
WE'VE WAITED LIKE TEN YEARS FOR A JAM-JOING PRANK (computer thing in "Launch Party" doesn't count) SO THIS IS LIKE THEY'RE HAVING A BABY AND ITS NAME IS "PRANK HALPERT."
cah215
The Office ladies really enrolled in the Barney Stinson School of Life and I APPROVE.
irishmizzy
DUMBLEDORE CALRISSIAN! THAT DUDE WOULD BE SO FUCKING PIMP. HE'D HAVE A CAPE FOR HIS CAPE AND HIS BLASTER WOULD SHOOT RAINBOW SPARKLES. YES. SOMEONE NEEDS TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN.
fairandbright
itmustbecarly
Pam's drunk dial was phenomz, because all drunk dials are phenomz. The future mother of my children. Jim, you're the biggest, sappiest dork ever. Also, how much do I want their future children to watch this documentary and be like, "God, you guys were soooooooo lame. Dad, what the hell is going on with your hair? YOU DID NOT BUY HER A WEDDING RING AFTER A WEEK! OH MY GOD, YOU DID NOT!!! Mom, did you know about this!!?" Yeah, I'm still beating that dead horse. Never forget, fandom. Never forget.
cashewdani
Also, this ep kind of made me want to ship Kelly/Dwight. There was some intense eye action going on there. They would have THE greatest hate sex in existence. I'm serious when I say that. That's how hot the eye action was.
firthgal
I would like to dedicate this episode to Oscar, who never fails to fill me with complete and utter joy, especially when he's a giggly drunk. He's just so darling, and I would like to erect a statue in his honor. Get it? Erect? Because he's gay? Yeah, I thought you did.
chibirhm
I LOLed at Pam "making herself up" to impress Michael. Not because it was "haha what a funny idea!" but because "haha writers! You've made her so hot that all she has to do to primp herself is fluff her hair and wear darker lipstick (the color, I believe, is called 'I Think Red Is Kind of Whorish')
I don't care what the boy has done, you don't throw away Italian dessert goodness just to make a point. If it were me, I'd eat the cake and then throw the container away. Because, you know, that'll show him.
swayinisdancin
Dear Jim Halpert,
Last night when you were all "when Michael's not here, I'm in charge, and I need you to sit down," it was very "big brother when the parents are out." Thank you for being amusing and not purchasing any real estate. ALSO, can you please talk to Dwight about this whole situation? NOBODY KNOWS [formerly] ENGAGED LADIES LIKE YOU DO. Andy should talk to Karen, probably, as their situations are fairly similar. [FIC, ANYONE?]
Sorry about the Karen remark, IT HAD TO BE SAID,
Sarah
dudski
In a creepout contest between the Burger King and Dwight wearing the CPR dummy's sliced-off face...well, the King would still win, but Dwight would be a very close second. *shudders* That is a thing I never need to see again, ever.
rainbowstevie
I want an episode where Jim and Dwight are handcuffed together.
healingmirth
The bit in the cold open where Andy leap frogs over Dwight and then says, "DO ME, DO ME!" and Dwight then proceeds to ride him. Roughly. In an episode where Andy questions his sexuality. OH GOD, THIS SHOW! I LOVE IT! firthgal
"I'd really like to be there to support Jim."
Special Wayward Jim/Kelly Shipping Radar: *pings* rainbowstevie
Srsly, why can't we buy toasters full of cash? It'd be like winning the lottery. Open up your toaster and WHOA, HEY, CASH! Just make sure you check it before you plug it in for the first time... fairandbright
THE NIAGARA FALLS WEDDING WAS THE MOST ROMANTIC THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. HATERS TO THE LEFT AND TRY NOT TO GO TOO CRAZY IN THAT EMPTY ROOM.touchthesoul
Kevin was a goldmine of joy this evening, o man. Jim's gone on his honeymoon so I started borrowing his office to fart in. Like, Kevin, HOW SO DELIGHTFUL?! I mean, I'm a 9 year old boy, so the word fart will always be amusing to me. Throw in that Kevin is just totally cool with saying that to a documentary crew (along with how much his house sucks) and then put it over a montage of him struggling to workout. COME ON! And he cancelled Jim's cards, and said to Oscar, Oh, you don't know about jail?! YOU WOULD LOVE JAIL! and this week I just love him best.cashewdani
PAM!!!! Thank you for fully expressing the horror of Michael dating your mom so that I didn't have to figure out how to do it myself. rainbowstevie
I still hold the right to mourn all of my hopes and dreams for Oscar/Andy that will never be. *sniff* I am willing to forsake those dreams if a baby is what Andy really wants. But see, therein lies the problem with Andy/Erin. He's not intrigued by the girl, he's intrigued by his dreams for his future, which is exactly what he based his entire relationship with Angela on. He doesn't fall in love with people, he falls in love with a life goal, and I think that's why I'm so besotted with the idea of Oscar/Andy. Falling in love with Oscar would be real because it would veer so far off this map of social expectations that he follows. It would be confounding and new and something that is just for him and not someone else's expectations of him. And he could still have the baby and the dog and the white picket fence, it's just that the person next to him will be someone that he had never pictured before, but it wouldn't matter, because there's no one else that he could even fathom being next to. GOD, SHOW! WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE THIS HAPPEN? AUGH!firthgal
Toby training Pam to punch Michael was the RPF that Toby would write for his own life. I'm sorry, I mean, is already writing. cashewdani
WHAT was Oscar trying to do with that accent?! He sounded like a cat whose tail had been slammed in the door. fairandbright
One thing I am sure about though is that Jim made Ryan work in a closet. And it seemed to be that the reasoning was to establish dominance like he was Dwight or something, but let's be real. It was payback for stealing his iPod and taking his desk when he came back from Stamford and the way he's lusted after Pam for all this time. That's just science. cashewdani
I'm...irrationally proud of Dwight's spy skills. I don't know. Maybe because all his tricks ultimately fail, so I don't really have to worry? And yet, at the same time, this masterpiece of subterfuge is one of the most exciting things I've ever seen. It's almost edging out the baby, at this point.rainbowstevie
I kindof hate Phyllis sometimes, but I'd be lying if I said that her tearful "It's been a long journey but... I'm Santa Claus" didn't punch me in the gut in a way I really wasn't expecting. fuskeez
it made me realize that I am a big giant sap because I totally cried at the ridiculously long Jim/Pam montage. I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THEM! WHY DO THEY KEEP MAKING ME CRY? I think they affect me now instead of back then because I've seen how far they've come, and being reminded of how difficult their journey actually was and then seeing them all happy just turns me into a blubbering fool. Doesn't mean that I don't still fast forward through all their scenes though, I just appreciate cheesy montages. firthgal
“Scissor me!” followed by Pam’s look of abject horror was possibly the highlight of my half-hour (day? Week?). An awesome call-back to “beer me”? You decide! scrantonscribe
JIM DUNKING DWIGHT'S TIE INTO HIS COFFEE! DWIGHT WHINING TO MICHAEL ABOUT IT! Oh, so much about this episode was like coming home again.firthgal
"Let's meet at 4 p.m. in our old meeting spot and bang it up." Why do I feel like this whole "business-deal" is the perfect summation of Angela and Dwight’s relationship? OH RIGHT BECAUSE IT IS.touchthesoul
Dwight became drunk on the power of Mega Desk. I have to say, I probably would too.fairandbright
My mom lost it at Andy's pants. She goes, "What is he wearing? Those pants are persimmon colored!" Oh, Andy. You and your misguided attempts to incorporate color into your wardrobe. Ha, and he was allll ready to grope Erin in the office. "Warmer... hot... loooower..." fairandbright
Oh god. Kevin's giggles & crying baby noises are killing me. I AM DYING. Pure comedy but also will haunt my nightmares. _see_spot_rock_
Angela's enormous grin and "this is my favorite day!" made me squeal with happiness. It's my favorite day too, Angela! Not only are people mocking Kevin, but you're taking unholy joy in it and don't care who knows! rainbowstevie
Hahahahahahaha, there was a boob post-it on Angela's face. cashewdani
ANDY GOT TO DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO ERIN! AND IT WAS GLORIOUS! AND HE USED HIS SEXY FALSETTO VOICE! OMG, I LOVE HIM. And I love Darryl. And I love Creed. AND I LOVE GABE. And I really love Andy and Gabe interacting. And I love Dwight's methods of seduction! And I love Dwight asking Michael to rub his thigh in a place that was uncomfortably close to his crotch. And I love that Michael still trusts Dwight whenever he says he's good at something. And I loved Michael's shock at being a mistress. And I loved his misunderstanding of the word "amok". SO CUTE. And I loved Jim and Pam jerking Dwight around in Morse code! I especially loved how the show pointed out that they really don't have time to do those things anymore, but they did it anyway. For some reason, this just rings very true to real life. You always find time for the ridiculous things in life, even though you know that that time would be better spent doing something else.firthgal
You know sometimes you think a thing can't get any gayer, and then it does? Andy's pink tie with rainbow stripes is like that. rainbowstevie
6.26: Whistleblower
I can honestly say that I didn't even think of chatterbox Kelly as being the whistleblower, because other than joining Sabre's minority executive program, what has she done all season? I mean, it's so easy to forget about her. fairandbright
The Office - I enjoyed it. Especially the IT guy (who really, really reminded me of a white John Lloyd Cruz, which tells me I've probably been watching too much of these Filipino soap operas and films)firthgal
On second thought, maybe Toby is the Scranton Strangler. I'm surprised Michael hasn't considered the possibility. rainbowstevie
The show can't end until Jim & Pam have at least two kids. Anything Scrubs gets, I want too. And frankly, I believe Scrubs wound up with five or six babies total, and we're only at three here if you count Karen's. So.rainbowstevie
GREATEST HITS, BECAUSE WHO NEEDS SLEEP ANYWAYS?
I think Pam has two beers, and at least three margaritas. Now, I've been to Chili's, and those margaritas are ginormous. I drink single malt scotch, none of that sissy stuff for me, but I could not finish my margarita at Chili's. I have to give Pam props for even being able to stand up, never mind aim for Jim's lips.
paper_jam11
Michael calls prostitutes "ladies of the night". Vampires everywhere are offended.
dawn_xx
Okay, I don't know if you've ever seen the part of the beet that is above ground, but it isn't exactly nice foliage upon which I would chose to engage in sexual intercourse. It's kind of dense and rough and fiber-y. If I had to have sex on any crop, I'm thinking it would be strawberries. Nice cushioning. Also, if you got the munchies once you'd done the deed? Instant snack.
chibirhm
My question is: Does Dwight just have "Everybody Hurts" cued up on eight-track for occasions like these? Like when beet sales are down, or when Michael insults him, or when Angela checks the "no" box on his "Do you like me?" note (such a tease).
swayinisdancin
I think it's still a date even if the girl does go home to her fiance. It's just the kind of date you'll someday be on Ricky Lake for.
calexical
How did Kelly go from having a special talent for buying the world's most hideous shirts, to being the office fashion maven? I mean, at this point, Phyllis arguably has better fashion sense than Kelly. I can't believe Kelly would be caught dead in a store that even sold that shirt, never mind that she would actually wear it to Jim's house (the clear winner in her game of Who would you do?) Does she have some kind of romantic death wish?
Wait. Don't answer that.
paper_jam11
"What is she so upset about?"
"Maybe it's because you hated her gift so much."
Hi, pot? This is teapot. You're teal.
swayinisdancin
I don't know if I've mentioned this, but for the last few episodes, Mom's been taping The Office when she watches it, then she'll call me when it's about to start here and we'll watch it together over the phone. Tonight, we disagreed slightly, because she does not see the awesomeness inherent in a Pam/NewRoyNowWithFacialHair one night stand. Pretty much I ignored her and kept squealing into the phone, though. What was I supposed to do, debate one night stands with my MOTHER?
dudski
I almost felt sorry for the bat; had he known he'd be battling a stake-weilding Dwight and Creed, he'd probably have flown away like....well, a bat out of hell.
swayinisdancin
I wonder how many weird nighttime visitors this poor child has had to be completely unfazed by a creepy man in his rocking chair, accompanied by a camera crew?
dawn_xx
And I think I'm going to start calling Jim and Pam James and Pamela, not because they're growing up, but because they're acting even more immature. You know how when your parents get mad at you they call you by your full name? Yeah. Shake them, call them by their full names, ground them. One of those tactics has to work.
falulatonks
A "DEPRESSION QUILT"?? Seriously? I wonder if Dwight thought of that first because he grew up with "emotion quilts" as a child. If he was being punished, he had to sleep under the GUILT QUILT which was made of scratchy wool. And if he killed a possum then he got to share the VICTORY QUILT with Mose and it was made of scraps of old clothes.
noblealice
Did anyone else notice the writers can only add up to eleven, though? Jim's outfit was $11, Kevin forgot how to add to $11 on the payroll form... is it some kind of really weird writers' room joke?
dawn_xx
Is it really bad that I saw Jim say "Hey" to Pam and counted it as a personal victory?
chibirhm
Let today be known as the day Pamela Beesly killed me, and I was thankful for it.
sundancekid
If he did ditch her - how the HELL are they going to convey that? A talking head? "I left New York without giving Karen so much as a phone call, and on the entire two hour drive back it never occurred to me that I had ditched her, and she never called to see what was up, and instead she sat on a corner waiting for me in the rain for hours and hours until eventually she hitched a ride home in a truck that was transporting chickens."
dudski
I'm convinced that the costume people were thinking of ME when they gave Fancy New Beasley fancy new and adorable shoes. Because as much as I have fondness for the whitest keds, they just had to go, man. They were like Veronica Mars and her hair, you know? Those shoes represented Pam's inner anguish. She is now reborn as a better woman. Or she just visited Zappos.com. Whatever.
chibirhm
The fact that Jim can say something like "Wow, we should have started dating like, a long time ago" without things getting all angsty, suggests to me that they've had some great talks about things, and worked through a lot of stuff. Also, it's really weird hearing Jim Halpert say that to Pam Beesly. What is this strange and wonderful world I'm living in?
paper_jam11
Poor Dwight. He's all unshaven and depressed. The poor guy has to overhear Angela trying to move on at every turn. He's just letting himself go over this break-up. I'm mostly concerned for the beets. Who is going to care for those poor vegetables if he can't? And the pelts he hides bear horns underneath, do you think those are from other cats he's murdered?
cashewdani
This episode has now ruined grammar for me. I will never be able to use whom/who in the proper way again. I think the writers used my linguistic skills as an object.
secondrink
I originally thought that Andy was hoping everyone else would join with the "kit! kat! bar!" and was faking his brain fart. When I realized that he genuinely couldn't remember the subject of the most memorable commercial jingle EVER I peed a little. That was AMAZING. The only thing that could have improved the running gag was someone giving Andy a Kit-Kat and having it STILL not click in.
themightybee
Michael's reputation must have spread all over the country from paper company to paper company of the man who hit his employee with his car. I think I recently heard someone mention the event in a Staples, but that may have been my imagination.
dreamingwriter
It kind of totally cracks me up how seemingly turned on Pam gets by Jim getting ideas. Like, she literally sashays up to him just for the purpose of being like "So... I hear you have an idea. I have an idea too. It involves pants, ie, me not wearing them" and that, boys and girls, is the real reason Jim tries and take initiative. It's Pavlovian, in a way.
chibirhm
The smack vs. trash discussion from Kelly is very true, and honestly were his parents first cousins who were also bad at ping pong? is perhaps the best put down ever. I will vary it appropriately to work in all social situations.
cashewdani
It was a lot like watching watching Jim and Pam go through their very own version of the Sawmovies. THINK ABOUT IT. They get tricked into entering this situation that just gets increasingly more awkward and painful as the night goes on, and they're completely subject to whatever bizarre little game Michael and Jan are playing with each other. Jim attempts to throw Pam to the wolves and run for it, BUT HE CANNOT ESCAPE.
dudski
I couldn't even live in my squee-induced bubble for one day before I got to my first class on Friday and had to put up with a bunch of girls talking about how Office has just been all downhill since season 2, and how Jim/Pam are clearly about to break up soon. IT'S JIM/PAM. They do not follow the rules of normal TV relationships any more than Joe/Alison or Charlie/Amita do (Charmita, that was not a jinx, so don't even think about it).
And why does nobody care that Turk and Carla managed to meet, date, and get married without immediately causing Scrubs to explode in flames? In a related note, Chandler and Monica did not destroy the infrastructure of Friends. And How I Met Your Mother is currently thriving with Mr. & Mrs. Erickson, and they only dealt with one year of angst.
Yes, it vaguely worries me that they've gone along without any particular conflicts so far, but can't we all agree not to care? I know at the time "Casino Night" must have seemed like a godsend and then "Gay Witch Hunt" was the cruelest knife twist ever, but I refuse to believe that's happening again. And why would you even want to entertain the thought? Shut up and squee, dammit!
rainbowstevie
dudski : Mindy Kaling, why can't we be best friends?
irishmizzy : What I'm saying is, Mindy Kaling, will you wait for me while I tie my shoe?
Was I the only one who laughed when Jim said that he supported the Eagles franchise by a wingand a prayer? AHAHAHA. WINGS.
I am such a laugh slut for Jim. It's ridiculous.
chibirhm
Is it a requirement now that Pam must wear her hair in a ponytail in the second-to-last episode of the season? Does this give her the energy and courage needed to do something audacious during the episode? Like walk across coals and make out with her boyfriend in the office? Whatever works, girl.
swayinisdancin
WE'VE WAITED LIKE TEN YEARS FOR A JAM-JOING PRANK (computer thing in "Launch Party" doesn't count) SO THIS IS LIKE THEY'RE HAVING A BABY AND ITS NAME IS "PRANK HALPERT."
cah215
The Office ladies really enrolled in the Barney Stinson School of Life and I APPROVE.
irishmizzy
DUMBLEDORE CALRISSIAN! THAT DUDE WOULD BE SO FUCKING PIMP. HE'D HAVE A CAPE FOR HIS CAPE AND HIS BLASTER WOULD SHOOT RAINBOW SPARKLES. YES. SOMEONE NEEDS TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN.
fairandbright
itmustbecarly
Pam's drunk dial was phenomz, because all drunk dials are phenomz. The future mother of my children. Jim, you're the biggest, sappiest dork ever. Also, how much do I want their future children to watch this documentary and be like, "God, you guys were soooooooo lame. Dad, what the hell is going on with your hair? YOU DID NOT BUY HER A WEDDING RING AFTER A WEEK! OH MY GOD, YOU DID NOT!!! Mom, did you know about this!!?" Yeah, I'm still beating that dead horse. Never forget, fandom. Never forget.
cashewdani
Also, this ep kind of made me want to ship Kelly/Dwight. There was some intense eye action going on there. They would have THE greatest hate sex in existence. I'm serious when I say that. That's how hot the eye action was.
firthgal
I would like to dedicate this episode to Oscar, who never fails to fill me with complete and utter joy, especially when he's a giggly drunk. He's just so darling, and I would like to erect a statue in his honor. Get it? Erect? Because he's gay? Yeah, I thought you did.
chibirhm
I LOLed at Pam "making herself up" to impress Michael. Not because it was "haha what a funny idea!" but because "haha writers! You've made her so hot that all she has to do to primp herself is fluff her hair and wear darker lipstick (the color, I believe, is called 'I Think Red Is Kind of Whorish')
I don't care what the boy has done, you don't throw away Italian dessert goodness just to make a point. If it were me, I'd eat the cake and then throw the container away. Because, you know, that'll show him.
swayinisdancin
Dear Jim Halpert,
Last night when you were all "when Michael's not here, I'm in charge, and I need you to sit down," it was very "big brother when the parents are out." Thank you for being amusing and not purchasing any real estate. ALSO, can you please talk to Dwight about this whole situation? NOBODY KNOWS [formerly] ENGAGED LADIES LIKE YOU DO. Andy should talk to Karen, probably, as their situations are fairly similar. [FIC, ANYONE?]
Sorry about the Karen remark, IT HAD TO BE SAID,
Sarah
dudski
In a creepout contest between the Burger King and Dwight wearing the CPR dummy's sliced-off face...well, the King would still win, but Dwight would be a very close second. *shudders* That is a thing I never need to see again, ever.
rainbowstevie
I want an episode where Jim and Dwight are handcuffed together.
healingmirth
The bit in the cold open where Andy leap frogs over Dwight and then says, "DO ME, DO ME!" and Dwight then proceeds to ride him. Roughly. In an episode where Andy questions his sexuality. OH GOD, THIS SHOW! I LOVE IT! firthgal
"I'd really like to be there to support Jim."
Special Wayward Jim/Kelly Shipping Radar: *pings* rainbowstevie
Srsly, why can't we buy toasters full of cash? It'd be like winning the lottery. Open up your toaster and WHOA, HEY, CASH! Just make sure you check it before you plug it in for the first time... fairandbright
THE NIAGARA FALLS WEDDING WAS THE MOST ROMANTIC THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. HATERS TO THE LEFT AND TRY NOT TO GO TOO CRAZY IN THAT EMPTY ROOM.touchthesoul
Kevin was a goldmine of joy this evening, o man. Jim's gone on his honeymoon so I started borrowing his office to fart in. Like, Kevin, HOW SO DELIGHTFUL?! I mean, I'm a 9 year old boy, so the word fart will always be amusing to me. Throw in that Kevin is just totally cool with saying that to a documentary crew (along with how much his house sucks) and then put it over a montage of him struggling to workout. COME ON! And he cancelled Jim's cards, and said to Oscar, Oh, you don't know about jail?! YOU WOULD LOVE JAIL! and this week I just love him best.cashewdani
PAM!!!! Thank you for fully expressing the horror of Michael dating your mom so that I didn't have to figure out how to do it myself. rainbowstevie
I still hold the right to mourn all of my hopes and dreams for Oscar/Andy that will never be. *sniff* I am willing to forsake those dreams if a baby is what Andy really wants. But see, therein lies the problem with Andy/Erin. He's not intrigued by the girl, he's intrigued by his dreams for his future, which is exactly what he based his entire relationship with Angela on. He doesn't fall in love with people, he falls in love with a life goal, and I think that's why I'm so besotted with the idea of Oscar/Andy. Falling in love with Oscar would be real because it would veer so far off this map of social expectations that he follows. It would be confounding and new and something that is just for him and not someone else's expectations of him. And he could still have the baby and the dog and the white picket fence, it's just that the person next to him will be someone that he had never pictured before, but it wouldn't matter, because there's no one else that he could even fathom being next to. GOD, SHOW! WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE THIS HAPPEN? AUGH!firthgal
Toby training Pam to punch Michael was the RPF that Toby would write for his own life. I'm sorry, I mean, is already writing. cashewdani
WHAT was Oscar trying to do with that accent?! He sounded like a cat whose tail had been slammed in the door. fairandbright
One thing I am sure about though is that Jim made Ryan work in a closet. And it seemed to be that the reasoning was to establish dominance like he was Dwight or something, but let's be real. It was payback for stealing his iPod and taking his desk when he came back from Stamford and the way he's lusted after Pam for all this time. That's just science. cashewdani
I'm...irrationally proud of Dwight's spy skills. I don't know. Maybe because all his tricks ultimately fail, so I don't really have to worry? And yet, at the same time, this masterpiece of subterfuge is one of the most exciting things I've ever seen. It's almost edging out the baby, at this point.rainbowstevie
I kindof hate Phyllis sometimes, but I'd be lying if I said that her tearful "It's been a long journey but... I'm Santa Claus" didn't punch me in the gut in a way I really wasn't expecting. fuskeez
it made me realize that I am a big giant sap because I totally cried at the ridiculously long Jim/Pam montage. I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THEM! WHY DO THEY KEEP MAKING ME CRY? I think they affect me now instead of back then because I've seen how far they've come, and being reminded of how difficult their journey actually was and then seeing them all happy just turns me into a blubbering fool. Doesn't mean that I don't still fast forward through all their scenes though, I just appreciate cheesy montages. firthgal
“Scissor me!” followed by Pam’s look of abject horror was possibly the highlight of my half-hour (day? Week?). An awesome call-back to “beer me”? You decide! scrantonscribe
JIM DUNKING DWIGHT'S TIE INTO HIS COFFEE! DWIGHT WHINING TO MICHAEL ABOUT IT! Oh, so much about this episode was like coming home again.firthgal
"Let's meet at 4 p.m. in our old meeting spot and bang it up." Why do I feel like this whole "business-deal" is the perfect summation of Angela and Dwight’s relationship? OH RIGHT BECAUSE IT IS.touchthesoul
Dwight became drunk on the power of Mega Desk. I have to say, I probably would too.fairandbright
My mom lost it at Andy's pants. She goes, "What is he wearing? Those pants are persimmon colored!" Oh, Andy. You and your misguided attempts to incorporate color into your wardrobe. Ha, and he was allll ready to grope Erin in the office. "Warmer... hot... loooower..." fairandbright
Oh god. Kevin's giggles & crying baby noises are killing me. I AM DYING. Pure comedy but also will haunt my nightmares. _see_spot_rock_
Angela's enormous grin and "this is my favorite day!" made me squeal with happiness. It's my favorite day too, Angela! Not only are people mocking Kevin, but you're taking unholy joy in it and don't care who knows! rainbowstevie
Hahahahahahaha, there was a boob post-it on Angela's face. cashewdani
ANDY GOT TO DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO ERIN! AND IT WAS GLORIOUS! AND HE USED HIS SEXY FALSETTO VOICE! OMG, I LOVE HIM. And I love Darryl. And I love Creed. AND I LOVE GABE. And I really love Andy and Gabe interacting. And I love Dwight's methods of seduction! And I love Dwight asking Michael to rub his thigh in a place that was uncomfortably close to his crotch. And I love that Michael still trusts Dwight whenever he says he's good at something. And I loved Michael's shock at being a mistress. And I loved his misunderstanding of the word "amok". SO CUTE. And I loved Jim and Pam jerking Dwight around in Morse code! I especially loved how the show pointed out that they really don't have time to do those things anymore, but they did it anyway. For some reason, this just rings very true to real life. You always find time for the ridiculous things in life, even though you know that that time would be better spent doing something else.firthgal
You know sometimes you think a thing can't get any gayer, and then it does? Andy's pink tie with rainbow stripes is like that. rainbowstevie