Big Brother, Bedroom Windows, and You (1/1)
Title: Big Brother, Bedroom Windows, and You (1/1)
Author: office_bluth
Spoilers: Mentions of the famous scene from Pascal's Triangle Revisited, but come on; we've all seen that scene thousands of times.
Summary: Because now, she’s kind of his best friend. And he hates saying that, both because, come on, he’s a dude, and also because, well, come on. He’s a dude whose best friend is a nineteen-year-old girl. But, as awful as it sounds, it’s true.
Rating/Warnings: PG
Word Count: 4359
Disclaimer: I supposedly don't own Community or its characters. I'm working on a loan agreement with Dan Harmon. Nor do I own any of the other movies or television shows mentioned.
Author's Note: What started as a birthday present for a friend turned into 12 pages of, well, this. I hope you all enjoy it!
No, Jeff doesn’t run away from her.
He doesn’t spend his summer hiding out at his apartment, or playing video games with Troy, or watching movies with Abed. Jeff Winger spends his summer with Annie.
No, not like that, you perv.
Seriously, nothing happens between them. Nothing. Okay, yes, he spends every evening before falling asleep and, yeah, every shower thinking about that kiss, and how she seemed to curl into him, and how his skin felt like it was on fire under her fingertips…but he’s not stupid enough to act on any of his confusing feelings for Annie. They’re friends, plain and simple. That’s what Jeff does all summer - he gets to know Annie. Like, for real. As a person, not someone stressed out about grades or a test, or without Britta and Shirley in between to cockblock him (except, is it really cockblocking if all they’re interrupting is a decent conversation? That’s more like wordblock, or maybe friendshipblock?).
And you know what? It doesn’t take long for Jeff to realize that Annie’s pretty damn awesome.
Her sweaters and tights are gone. Summer!Annie, as Jeff likes to refer to her, wears tank tops and shorts, even the occasional sundress. Her sensible flats are gone, replaced by flip-flops purchased in bulk from Old Navy. Her entire personality seems to be different, too - she smiles all the time. At nothing. At everything. Her Disney eyes haven’t been spotted once, because she’s just so happy all the time. Nothing Jeff does can piss her off - he was once, like, ten minutes late to pick her up before a movie, and when she got in his car, she didn’t yell, like he assumed she would. Instead she good-naturedly rapped her knuckles against his temple, asked if lawyers knew how to tell time, and then explained her plan on how they would get their entire study group to see two movies for the price of one.
That is, their entire study group but Britta.
Britta spends the summer in Nova Scotia or Portugal or somewhere. She emailed everyone two days after the Tranny Dance and wished them all a great summer, then sent a link to the travel program she had signed up for. Jeff didn’t click the link. He knew Annie had, because the next time he saw her, she was babbling on and on about how she needed to get her passport, and next summer, she was totally going with Britta, and Jeff kind of tuned it out, because, really? He had already almost lost Annie to Delaware once. He really didn’t need to think about a life without her again.
Because now, you know, if she left, or whatever, it would suck even more than it would have if she hadn’t broken up with Vaughn. Because now, she’s kind of his best friend. And he hates saying that, both because, come on, he’s a dude, and also because, well, come on. He’s a dude whose best friend is a nineteen-year-old girl. But, as awful as it sounds, it’s true. They talk all the time, they have all kinds of inside jokes, they always know what the other is thinking…they’re like Troy and Abed, except much better looking and, you know, not lame.
“I hate her,” Jeff says, throwing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.
It’s Thursday night - Big Brother night. It’s a tradition - three times a week (Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. No exceptions. No DVRing. They either watch it live or not at all, and neither Jeff nor Annie is allowed to supply the other with a recap of the last episode. This is hardcore reality television watching), they both grab their computers and video chat while watching the show. They used to talk on the phone, but Annie quickly eliminated that plan after Jeff got particularly outraged at the outcome of a head of household competition and threw his phone into his bookcase. One new phone and one broken picture frame later, they decided computers were a much better plan.
“You always say that,” Annie says, sitting, as always, on the couch in her den, her knees tucked under her, her elbow on the right armrest, “and yet you never explain why.”
Jeff gesticulates wildly toward the television. “Do I even need to explain why? She’s awful! Rachael is - is - she’s almost as annoying as Speidi!”
Two months ago, Annie had no idea who or what Speidi is. Now, she simply rolls her eyes. “Oh, come on. Rachael’s not that annoying. So her voice gets a little shrill sometimes - so what?”
Jeff chuckles. “Oh, right. I forgot - shrill-voiced girls need to stick together.”
Annie’s jaw drops, her cheeks flushing. “Jeff! I am not shrill-voiced!”
“Really? Cause you sound a little shrill right now.”
Annie pauses, obviously flustered. Then she tries again, her voice now a noticeably deeper register. “I am not shrill-voiced.”
“Oh my God,” Jeff deadpans. “Will you shut it, Mickey Mouse? I’m trying to watch my show here.”
Annie responds by slamming her computer shut.
Five minutes later, when Matt reveals he’s been lying about having a sick wife, Jeff gets a video chat invitation from Annie. He immediately accepts.
“That pig!” she squeals.
***
“Do it.”
“Dude, shut up.”
“I’ll shut up when you do it. Just do it already!”
“Troy!” Jeff hisses. “I’m gonna do it, okay? Just give me a minute!”
Troy rolls his eyes. “Why do you need a minute? You and Annie have been spending all summer together. You’ve been in her bedroom hundreds of times.”
He chuckles at himself, then turns to Abed, who’s sprawled out on the backseat of Jeff’s Lexus. “Hey. Hey. Abed.”
Abed groans.
“What’s that called?”
“What’s what called?” Abed asks, his eyes tightly shut. He stifles a yawn and tries to stretch as best he can in the cramped space.
“What I just did. Where I say one thing but it implies another?”
“An innuendo,” Abed mumbles, his chin tucked into his chest. “And don’t push Jeff. He’s trying to avoid a classic caper, where he accidentally climbs in through the window of his intended’s parents, rather than…”
Another yawn. “…Rather than his intended. Who’s Annie. She’s his Gabriella.”
Jeff rolls his eyes. Sometimes he really questions why he hangs out with these two - better yet, why does he allow these two to get him drunk? “Okay. Okay,” he says, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Here I go.”
Troy claps him on the back. “Good luck, man.”
“G’luck, Troy,” Abed mumbles under his breath, looking pretty close to sleep. Or maybe death.
“Hm? I’m not going anywhere.” Troy’s brows are furrowed as he tries to figure out this conundrum.
“No, genius,” Jeff says as he opens his car door. “I’m Troy. As in Troy Bolton. ‘Cause in High School Musical, he climbed onto Gabriella’s balcony. Actually, the reference doesn’t even fit, because he didn’t climb through her window. You’re slipping, Abed.”
He pauses, halfway out of the car. “Not that I’ve seen High School Musical, or anything. I’m just…guessing.”
Luckily, Troy and Abed are too sleepy to notice Jeff’s knowledge of teenage musicals. With a huge sigh of relief, Jeff slams his door shut, then begins what he’s pretty sure is a stealthy walk to Annie’s house. He parked across the street, see, because this way, it won’t look suspicious. He’s got this all figured out.
Except, you know, what he’s gonna say once he gets into Annie’s room.
The plan had seemed brilliant back at Abed’s basement, when all three had more than a few beers in them. Somehow they had started talking about Annie, and after hearing how close Jeff and Annie had become over the last few weeks, Troy came up with a brilliant plan: they would drive to Annie’s house, and Jeff would climb in through her bedroom window to surprise her. Or was it to scare her…? Crap. Jeff can’t remember. Oh well.
He approaches her house, turning to walk along the left side. Annie’s window is the last one - or is it the second-to-last one? Crap. He’s only been inside her house a few times. Annie doesn’t want her parents to get the wrong impression about her and Jeff, seeing as he’s, you know, thirty-five, and all, so Jeff hasn’t been over too often. Once or twice while her parents were gone, and then there was that awkward time on the Fourth of July when Jeff was picking her up before Pierce’s barbeque, where Mr. Edison opened the door and Jeff realized that he was five years younger than his friend’s father. Mr. Edison must have realized that, too, because his face immediately stiffened and he glared at Jeff until Annie came to the door and gently led her father to the couch.
Okay - he’s going with the last window. Because there’s the living room, which is the first two windows, and then the bathroom, so Annie’s window must be the fourth one. He quietly approaches the window, peeking inside first. There she is - she’s lying on her bed, her feet (encased in bunny slippers. Something about that is so endearing, Jeff thinks his heart might burst) in the air as she types something on her computer. Okay - it’s now or never.
He grabs the window and slowly slides it up, praying to every God in the universe that it’s not squeaky. That would totally ruin the surprise. Thankfully, it’s silent. Once he gets it about halfway open, Jeff takes a moment to weigh his options. Should he actually climb in? Troy and Abed aren’t here - they won’t know if Jeff follows through to the letter. Hell, by the time he gets back to the car, they’ll both probably be fast asleep. Maybe he should just stay outside and talk to her, or something.
But then she’d get scared. If she randomly heard her name and saw a shadow outside her curtains? Yeah, no. Then he’d see those Disney eyes that plagued his nightmares for so long. Okay - Jeff’s gonna be a nice guy. He takes out his phone and sends her a text.
Jeff
Don’t look outside your window.
Her response comes moments later.
Annie
Okay, I won’t.
He fights the instinct to roll his eyes. So typically Annie. But he can hear her moving around, so he doesn’t respond to her text. Then, before he knows it, the purple curtain in front of his face is gone, replaced by something much, much prettier.
“Hi, Jeff,” Annie says, resting her elbows on the windowsill. “What are you doing outside my window?”
Jeff figures that explanation’s a little too long, so he decides to go with the charm, adopting a goofy grin. “Hi, Annie! Are you having a good night?”
Annie looks amused. Or maybe angry. Maybe even hungry. “It’s been okay,” she says dryly. “You know, I have a front door. With a working doorbell and everything.”
That almost makes Jeff fall over. “Annie!” he gasps, holding his stomach as he begins laughing maniacally. “Annie, you’re so funny. Has anyone ever told you that before?”
That seems to throw her. “Um. No, actually,” she admits, her voice suddenly tiny. Jeff immediately stops laughing.
“What? No one’s ever told you that you’re funny?”
Annie shakes her head, then scrunches up her nose, like she’s considering it. “Well - Vaughn did once, when I told him that I wear deodorant. He said it was the best joke he’d heard all year.”
Jeff’s face immediately darkens. “Vaughn,” he spits. “I’m so glad he’s in Virginia -“
“- Delaware,” Annie amends.
“- ‘cause, you know what? Virginia sucks. And so does Vaughn. You can do so much better than him, Annie. I’m really, really glad you broke up with him.”
Annie’s gaze drops to her hands. “Really? You are?”
Jeff nods emphatically. “Uh-huh. ‘Cause if you hadn’t, then you’d be in Maryland with him. And then I never would have gotten to know you over the last three weeks, and you know what, Annie? I’m really glad I got to know you. ‘Cause I’ve never really had a best friend before, and I’m really glad that you’re my first.”
His gaze is earnest - this might be the most vulnerable Jeff will ever be. Annie lets herself meet his eyes, giving him a tiny smile. “I’ve never had a best friend before, either,” she admits. “I’m glad you’re my first, too.”
Jeff beams at her. “Thanks, Annie. I think I’m gonna go home now.”
Annie chuckles. She’s seen Jeff drunk before, but he’s never acted childlike - he must have been with Troy. Troy’s naïveté seems to rub off really easily. “Okay, Jeff. Goodnight.”
“Night.” Jeff takes a step away from her window, then freezes. “Annie?” he asks as he turns around.
“Yeah, Jeff?”
“Can I have a kiss goodnight?”
Normally, she’d slap him on the arm and call him a pervert. But he looks so sincere - she doubts he’s even thinking about her lips or the night of the Tranny Dance.
“Of course, Jeff,” she says softly. He comes back over and ducks his head, so his forehead is right in front of her face. With a small smile, Annie leans forward the remaining millimeters and gently kisses his forehead.
“Goodnight, Jeff. Call me tomorrow, okay?”
“I always do.”
***
“Jeff, can you get that?” Annie calls from the kitchen after the doorbell rings.
Jeff groans as he pushes himself off the couch. “Do you see this? This is my house, and she’s giving me instructions.”
Pierce and Shirley laugh good-naturedly. It’s August now, as evidenced by the fact that Jeff’s air conditioning unit has been running on full blast for the last two weeks. For the first time ever, Jeff’s hosting a study group get-together at his house; they’ve been having weekly barbeques and/or pool parties at Pierce’s mansion, but tonight’s get-together has a different purpose. It’s their welcome-home party for Britta, and Annie and Shirley (the self-designated party planners) figured Britta wouldn’t want to spend her night in a mansion. You know, not while kids are starving, and whatever.
“Hey, guys,” Jeff says as he opens the door for Troy and Abed. He points to the gift basket under Troy’s arm. “That for me?”
“Ha ha,” Troy says dryly as they enter Jeff’s entirely-too-small-for-seven-people apartment. “You wish, dude. This is for Britta. Annie said we were supposed to bring gifts.”
“You were!” Annie chirps as she runs in from the kitchen. “I’m glad to see you read the fine print on my e-vitation. You can just set that down over there,” she says, pointing to the table Jeff usually used for unread Christmas letters and the boxes of chocolate his mom sends every Valentine’s Day. The papers that formerly called that table home are currently sitting in a box that’s been shoved into Jeff’s closet, victims of Annie’s cleaning spree.
“Cool,” Abed says, taking the basket from his best friend and setting it down. His eyes immediately jump to Jeff, his eyebrows, as usual, giving the older man the willies. “Which one’s yours, Jeff?”
Jeff gives a non-committal grunt as he plops back down onto the couch. “That’s Jeff-speak for, ‘I didn’t find it necessary to get a gift for my friend who’s been traveling the world all summer,’” Annie says, her polite tone betraying the sarcasm of her words.
“Ha!” Troy exclaims. “I told you so, Abed! Give me my money!”
Jeff turns around. “You told him what? And - what?”
“Troy and I had a bet regarding whether or not you would give Britta a gift,” Abed answers calmly, making no move to hand Troy money. “I admit, I put too much stock into the bad-boy-with-a-heart-of-gold cliché - I assumed you would use this as an opportunity to apologize to Britta for the Tranny Dance debacle. But,” he says, now turning to Troy, “you said he wouldn’t give her a gift only because he had moved on from the events of the dance, having settled into a domestic routine with Annie. So you only get the money if that was, in fact, Jeff’s motivation.”
He turns on Jeff once again. “Was that your motivation, Jeff?”
“Uh -“ Jeff swallows. “I have no idea what you just said.”
Troy rolls his eyes impatiently. “Abed thought you would get Britta a gift because you felt bad about not loving her. I thought you wouldn’t get her a gift because you’re dating Annie. So who was right?”
“Wait, what?” Jeff sputters, just about the same time as Annie’s face turns a deep shade of scarlet. “I’m not dating Annie!”
“Oh.” Abed’s face remains impassive. “I’m wrong, then. I incorrectly analyzed the relationship that’s developed between the two of you.”
His eyebrows raise a mere millimeter - Jeff’s pretty sure this is Abed’s angry face. “Come on, Jeff. You know that sounded as painful as it was for me to say.”
“I’m serious!” Jeff stands up, now facing everyone in the room - except Annie. He’s kind of a little too nervous to look at her right now. “Pierce, Shirley, did you guys think I was dating Annie?”
The two exchange quick glances. “Uh -“ Shirley glares at Abed. “Abed! You told me they were dating!”
At least Pierce looks confused. Okay, yeah, it’s Pierce, but Jeff’s relieved to have at least one person on his side. “You’re nailing Big Boobs?”
“Okay!” Annie interjects, throwing up her hands. “No one is nailing Big Boobs. I mean - me! No one is nailing me! Or anyone!”
She pauses, turning to whisper something in Troy’s ear. He turns deep purple and sputters, “No, Annie, Abed and I aren’t ‘like that!’”
“Okay, sorry,” she says smoothly. “I had to ask. So no one is nailing anyone. Jeff and I are friends - that’s all. So - okay - yeah, we’ve been spending a lot of time together this summer. And, yes, we kissed after the Tranny Dance, but that doesn’t mean anything, so -“
“Wait.”
“Hold up.”
“Say what now?”
“You what?”
That voice is new.
Everyone turns around to see Britta standing in Jeff’s doorway, holding two large suitcases.
“Britta!” Annie exclaims, all the blood rushing out of her face. “How long have you been -“
She freezes, like she has no idea how to finish the sentence. Jeff figures he’d better do it for her. “Standing there?”
Annie whips her head around and glares at him. “I was gonna say back, but thanks, Jeff.”
He holds up his hands in defeat. Britta takes a tentative step into the apartment. “What exactly is going on here? ‘Cause what I heard was that Troy and Abed aren’t getting it on and that you guys -“
She blinks once, then a second time. Then it’s kind of all she’s doing, and it looks so freaky, Jeff feels like it’s his duty to distract her. So, naturally, he asks her if she wants some punch.
That immediately seems like a bad idea, especially because once Britta sets her gaze on him, it seems like she might actually be considering punching him.
But then she speaks, and she doesn’t sound like the tough girl who wears leather jackets and frequently goes on violent diatribes against global injustice. She sounds, simply, like a girl.
“You kissed Annie the night of the Tranny Dance?”
Yeah, Jeff really has no response to that. Luckily, Shirley seems to have one.
“But it’s okay, sweetie!” she chirps. “See, they’re dating now, which I know doesn’t sound like good news right away, but it is, because now Jeff won’t be all over you, and -“
“Shirley,” Jeff says through gritted teeth. “Once again - we are not dating.”
“Jeff,” Annie says softly, using her ‘now’s-so-not-the-time’ voice. Then she perks up. “Britta, come in. You can put your bags under that table there.”
Wordlessly, Britta sets her bags down, then, after a reassuring nod from Annie, sits down in an armchair far away from Jeff.
“What happened?” she asks, sounding defeated. It takes Jeff a moment to realize that she’s asking him.
Crap.
“Nothing,” he says quickly. “Nothing’s going on with me and Annie, so -“
Britta rolls her eyes. “Idiot. I don’t mean now. I mean then. Why would you kiss Annie when I was right inside?”
Jeff’s pretty sure that everyone else in the room takes that exactly the same way - as in, why would you choose Annie when you could have had me? Actually, on second thought, who cares what everyone else is thinking? All he knows is, Annie’s face in the span of, like, a tenth of a second, and he’s suddenly filled with the urge to buy her shiny things or maybe even a pony, as long as it’ll make her smile again.
“Britta,” Shirley whispers harshly, jerking her head toward Annie. As soon as she sees the younger girl’s defeated face, Britta’s eyes widen.
“No, Annie, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant - I mean - How could he, you know, do that and complicate things more when he already ran out on two people?”
Annie’s face relaxes a little, but her lower lip is still jutting out a little. Jeff’s suddenly overcome with the urge to take her and kiss that lip, just enough to -
Wait, what?
“We’re not dating!” Jeff shouts, trying to convince himself more than anyone else. “We’re not, okay? It’s that simple. So everyone just accept that, and let’s start the party, okay?”
There’s silence for maybe a fraction of a second.
Then Abed coolly responds, “You sure about that, Jeff?”
Jeff whirls around, his eyes burning holes through Abed. “Yes, Abed, I’m sure.”
Abed continues as if Jeff hadn’t spoken. “Let’s look at the evidence. You talk on the phone every night while watching TV - a classic Harry/Sally situation. You get drunk and can’t stop talking about her. It’s a clichéd, but effective, way of realizing one’s true feelings.”
That takes a moment to sink in. “Did you two intentionally get me drunk to find out if I liked Annie?!”
Abed doesn’t even try to deny it. “A necessary act. Sorry, Jeff. I hope you didn’t scare her too badly when you popped through her window. Anyway - where was I?”
Naturally, this question is directed at Troy. “We got Jeff drunk and all he wanted to do was see Annie.”
“Right.” Abed turns back to Jeff. “We got you drunk and all you wanted to do was see Annie. And look at the evidence here in your apartment.”
“What evidence?!” Jeff all but screams at him. He’s almost expecting Abed to pull out a pair of Annie’s underwear from a drawer, or something, except oh yeah, there’s nothing like that around here because they’re not dating.
Abed actually rolls his eyes. He rolls his beady little eyes, as if this conversation somehow beneath him. Jeff’s hands instinctively ball into fists, his fingernails cutting little half-moons on his palm; it hurts, but he figures it’s better than aiming themselves at Abed’s tiny little face.
“Jeff, please. You know what I’m going to say. You know because you’ve been asking yourself all summer how you feel about Annie. What your friendship means…what she thinks about you…where the line between friendship and more-than-that starts…”
Okay, that’s it. Jeff thunders over to Abed, pointing his finger right in the freaky man’s face. “You have no idea what you’re talking about, you…you…you evil wizard.”
Troy gasps. “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!”
Abed doesn’t even blink. “Come on, Jeff,” he says in what sounds suspiciously like a conspiratorial tone. “She’s throwing a party at your house. She cleaned the entire place. She’s telling people where to put things. She gave you a forehead kiss.”
Shirley gasps at the same time Jeff sputters, “How - How do you know that?! You weren’t even there!”
“Dude,” Troy whispers. “You-Know-Who is everywhere.”
“Dude,” Jeff says, rounding on Troy, “this isn’t Harry Potter, okay?” He turns back to Abed. “Okay, so you’ve proven that me and Annie are friends. Great detective work.”
“So tell me I’m wrong,” Abed responds, somehow still as cool as ever. “Tell me you’re not interested in dating Annie.”
Jeff pauses. “That’s - That’s not what we’re debating. We’re debating whether Annie and I are -“
Abed shrugs. “I turned the tables on you, Jeff.”
God. He is an evil wizard.
“I -“ Desperate for a way to get out of this conversation, he steps away from Abed and gesturing wildly at Annie. “You’re embarrassing her. Let’s just - Let’s forget all this, okay?”
No one looks like they’re going to protest, especially Britta. Abed just quirks an eyebrow, like he’s somehow gotten his answer. And then Jeff hears it - a tiny, wimpy voice.
“Answer the question, Jeff.”
He whirls around to see Annie staring intently at the floor, as if she hadn’t spoken. “I’m sorry, what?” he asks, absolutely positive that she hadn’t spoken, and it had just been his conscience.
She lifts one shoulder. “I’m just - I really like being your friend,” she says, slowly gaining the courage to look him in the eye. “Your best friend. So I’m not saying I need anything to change, I just - I want to know if you want things to change.”
“Um.” Jeff’s suddenly very aware that they’re surrounded by five very nosy people who could make their lives very, very difficult. So he steps closer to Annie, lowering his voice. “Annie, I don’t -“
He sighs, ignores the five sets of eyes on him, and tries again. “Can we go somewhere - somewhere not here - and talk?”
Annie blinks. Then she offers a tentative smile. “No, I don’t want to talk. It’s Wednesday - Big Brother’s on in a half hour. Wanna go watch at my house?”
Jeff grins at her, offering her the crook of his arm. She eagerly accepts it, and they begin their march out of Jeff’s apartment, oblivious to the five people they’re leaving behind.
Almost as soon as Pierce begins his thorough investigation of Jeff’s underwear drawer (he swears he’s looking for women’s underwear and/or pictures of previous conquests, but one can never be too sure), Jeff storms back into the apartment and kicks everyone out.
That night was the first time Jeff and Annie watched Big Brother together without the help of iChat.
Author: office_bluth
Spoilers: Mentions of the famous scene from Pascal's Triangle Revisited, but come on; we've all seen that scene thousands of times.
Summary: Because now, she’s kind of his best friend. And he hates saying that, both because, come on, he’s a dude, and also because, well, come on. He’s a dude whose best friend is a nineteen-year-old girl. But, as awful as it sounds, it’s true.
Rating/Warnings: PG
Word Count: 4359
Disclaimer: I supposedly don't own Community or its characters. I'm working on a loan agreement with Dan Harmon. Nor do I own any of the other movies or television shows mentioned.
Author's Note: What started as a birthday present for a friend turned into 12 pages of, well, this. I hope you all enjoy it!
No, Jeff doesn’t run away from her.
He doesn’t spend his summer hiding out at his apartment, or playing video games with Troy, or watching movies with Abed. Jeff Winger spends his summer with Annie.
No, not like that, you perv.
Seriously, nothing happens between them. Nothing. Okay, yes, he spends every evening before falling asleep and, yeah, every shower thinking about that kiss, and how she seemed to curl into him, and how his skin felt like it was on fire under her fingertips…but he’s not stupid enough to act on any of his confusing feelings for Annie. They’re friends, plain and simple. That’s what Jeff does all summer - he gets to know Annie. Like, for real. As a person, not someone stressed out about grades or a test, or without Britta and Shirley in between to cockblock him (except, is it really cockblocking if all they’re interrupting is a decent conversation? That’s more like wordblock, or maybe friendshipblock?).
And you know what? It doesn’t take long for Jeff to realize that Annie’s pretty damn awesome.
Her sweaters and tights are gone. Summer!Annie, as Jeff likes to refer to her, wears tank tops and shorts, even the occasional sundress. Her sensible flats are gone, replaced by flip-flops purchased in bulk from Old Navy. Her entire personality seems to be different, too - she smiles all the time. At nothing. At everything. Her Disney eyes haven’t been spotted once, because she’s just so happy all the time. Nothing Jeff does can piss her off - he was once, like, ten minutes late to pick her up before a movie, and when she got in his car, she didn’t yell, like he assumed she would. Instead she good-naturedly rapped her knuckles against his temple, asked if lawyers knew how to tell time, and then explained her plan on how they would get their entire study group to see two movies for the price of one.
That is, their entire study group but Britta.
Britta spends the summer in Nova Scotia or Portugal or somewhere. She emailed everyone two days after the Tranny Dance and wished them all a great summer, then sent a link to the travel program she had signed up for. Jeff didn’t click the link. He knew Annie had, because the next time he saw her, she was babbling on and on about how she needed to get her passport, and next summer, she was totally going with Britta, and Jeff kind of tuned it out, because, really? He had already almost lost Annie to Delaware once. He really didn’t need to think about a life without her again.
Because now, you know, if she left, or whatever, it would suck even more than it would have if she hadn’t broken up with Vaughn. Because now, she’s kind of his best friend. And he hates saying that, both because, come on, he’s a dude, and also because, well, come on. He’s a dude whose best friend is a nineteen-year-old girl. But, as awful as it sounds, it’s true. They talk all the time, they have all kinds of inside jokes, they always know what the other is thinking…they’re like Troy and Abed, except much better looking and, you know, not lame.
“I hate her,” Jeff says, throwing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.
It’s Thursday night - Big Brother night. It’s a tradition - three times a week (Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. No exceptions. No DVRing. They either watch it live or not at all, and neither Jeff nor Annie is allowed to supply the other with a recap of the last episode. This is hardcore reality television watching), they both grab their computers and video chat while watching the show. They used to talk on the phone, but Annie quickly eliminated that plan after Jeff got particularly outraged at the outcome of a head of household competition and threw his phone into his bookcase. One new phone and one broken picture frame later, they decided computers were a much better plan.
“You always say that,” Annie says, sitting, as always, on the couch in her den, her knees tucked under her, her elbow on the right armrest, “and yet you never explain why.”
Jeff gesticulates wildly toward the television. “Do I even need to explain why? She’s awful! Rachael is - is - she’s almost as annoying as Speidi!”
Two months ago, Annie had no idea who or what Speidi is. Now, she simply rolls her eyes. “Oh, come on. Rachael’s not that annoying. So her voice gets a little shrill sometimes - so what?”
Jeff chuckles. “Oh, right. I forgot - shrill-voiced girls need to stick together.”
Annie’s jaw drops, her cheeks flushing. “Jeff! I am not shrill-voiced!”
“Really? Cause you sound a little shrill right now.”
Annie pauses, obviously flustered. Then she tries again, her voice now a noticeably deeper register. “I am not shrill-voiced.”
“Oh my God,” Jeff deadpans. “Will you shut it, Mickey Mouse? I’m trying to watch my show here.”
Annie responds by slamming her computer shut.
Five minutes later, when Matt reveals he’s been lying about having a sick wife, Jeff gets a video chat invitation from Annie. He immediately accepts.
“That pig!” she squeals.
***
“Do it.”
“Dude, shut up.”
“I’ll shut up when you do it. Just do it already!”
“Troy!” Jeff hisses. “I’m gonna do it, okay? Just give me a minute!”
Troy rolls his eyes. “Why do you need a minute? You and Annie have been spending all summer together. You’ve been in her bedroom hundreds of times.”
He chuckles at himself, then turns to Abed, who’s sprawled out on the backseat of Jeff’s Lexus. “Hey. Hey. Abed.”
Abed groans.
“What’s that called?”
“What’s what called?” Abed asks, his eyes tightly shut. He stifles a yawn and tries to stretch as best he can in the cramped space.
“What I just did. Where I say one thing but it implies another?”
“An innuendo,” Abed mumbles, his chin tucked into his chest. “And don’t push Jeff. He’s trying to avoid a classic caper, where he accidentally climbs in through the window of his intended’s parents, rather than…”
Another yawn. “…Rather than his intended. Who’s Annie. She’s his Gabriella.”
Jeff rolls his eyes. Sometimes he really questions why he hangs out with these two - better yet, why does he allow these two to get him drunk? “Okay. Okay,” he says, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Here I go.”
Troy claps him on the back. “Good luck, man.”
“G’luck, Troy,” Abed mumbles under his breath, looking pretty close to sleep. Or maybe death.
“Hm? I’m not going anywhere.” Troy’s brows are furrowed as he tries to figure out this conundrum.
“No, genius,” Jeff says as he opens his car door. “I’m Troy. As in Troy Bolton. ‘Cause in High School Musical, he climbed onto Gabriella’s balcony. Actually, the reference doesn’t even fit, because he didn’t climb through her window. You’re slipping, Abed.”
He pauses, halfway out of the car. “Not that I’ve seen High School Musical, or anything. I’m just…guessing.”
Luckily, Troy and Abed are too sleepy to notice Jeff’s knowledge of teenage musicals. With a huge sigh of relief, Jeff slams his door shut, then begins what he’s pretty sure is a stealthy walk to Annie’s house. He parked across the street, see, because this way, it won’t look suspicious. He’s got this all figured out.
Except, you know, what he’s gonna say once he gets into Annie’s room.
The plan had seemed brilliant back at Abed’s basement, when all three had more than a few beers in them. Somehow they had started talking about Annie, and after hearing how close Jeff and Annie had become over the last few weeks, Troy came up with a brilliant plan: they would drive to Annie’s house, and Jeff would climb in through her bedroom window to surprise her. Or was it to scare her…? Crap. Jeff can’t remember. Oh well.
He approaches her house, turning to walk along the left side. Annie’s window is the last one - or is it the second-to-last one? Crap. He’s only been inside her house a few times. Annie doesn’t want her parents to get the wrong impression about her and Jeff, seeing as he’s, you know, thirty-five, and all, so Jeff hasn’t been over too often. Once or twice while her parents were gone, and then there was that awkward time on the Fourth of July when Jeff was picking her up before Pierce’s barbeque, where Mr. Edison opened the door and Jeff realized that he was five years younger than his friend’s father. Mr. Edison must have realized that, too, because his face immediately stiffened and he glared at Jeff until Annie came to the door and gently led her father to the couch.
Okay - he’s going with the last window. Because there’s the living room, which is the first two windows, and then the bathroom, so Annie’s window must be the fourth one. He quietly approaches the window, peeking inside first. There she is - she’s lying on her bed, her feet (encased in bunny slippers. Something about that is so endearing, Jeff thinks his heart might burst) in the air as she types something on her computer. Okay - it’s now or never.
He grabs the window and slowly slides it up, praying to every God in the universe that it’s not squeaky. That would totally ruin the surprise. Thankfully, it’s silent. Once he gets it about halfway open, Jeff takes a moment to weigh his options. Should he actually climb in? Troy and Abed aren’t here - they won’t know if Jeff follows through to the letter. Hell, by the time he gets back to the car, they’ll both probably be fast asleep. Maybe he should just stay outside and talk to her, or something.
But then she’d get scared. If she randomly heard her name and saw a shadow outside her curtains? Yeah, no. Then he’d see those Disney eyes that plagued his nightmares for so long. Okay - Jeff’s gonna be a nice guy. He takes out his phone and sends her a text.
Jeff
Don’t look outside your window.
Her response comes moments later.
Annie
Okay, I won’t.
He fights the instinct to roll his eyes. So typically Annie. But he can hear her moving around, so he doesn’t respond to her text. Then, before he knows it, the purple curtain in front of his face is gone, replaced by something much, much prettier.
“Hi, Jeff,” Annie says, resting her elbows on the windowsill. “What are you doing outside my window?”
Jeff figures that explanation’s a little too long, so he decides to go with the charm, adopting a goofy grin. “Hi, Annie! Are you having a good night?”
Annie looks amused. Or maybe angry. Maybe even hungry. “It’s been okay,” she says dryly. “You know, I have a front door. With a working doorbell and everything.”
That almost makes Jeff fall over. “Annie!” he gasps, holding his stomach as he begins laughing maniacally. “Annie, you’re so funny. Has anyone ever told you that before?”
That seems to throw her. “Um. No, actually,” she admits, her voice suddenly tiny. Jeff immediately stops laughing.
“What? No one’s ever told you that you’re funny?”
Annie shakes her head, then scrunches up her nose, like she’s considering it. “Well - Vaughn did once, when I told him that I wear deodorant. He said it was the best joke he’d heard all year.”
Jeff’s face immediately darkens. “Vaughn,” he spits. “I’m so glad he’s in Virginia -“
“- Delaware,” Annie amends.
“- ‘cause, you know what? Virginia sucks. And so does Vaughn. You can do so much better than him, Annie. I’m really, really glad you broke up with him.”
Annie’s gaze drops to her hands. “Really? You are?”
Jeff nods emphatically. “Uh-huh. ‘Cause if you hadn’t, then you’d be in Maryland with him. And then I never would have gotten to know you over the last three weeks, and you know what, Annie? I’m really glad I got to know you. ‘Cause I’ve never really had a best friend before, and I’m really glad that you’re my first.”
His gaze is earnest - this might be the most vulnerable Jeff will ever be. Annie lets herself meet his eyes, giving him a tiny smile. “I’ve never had a best friend before, either,” she admits. “I’m glad you’re my first, too.”
Jeff beams at her. “Thanks, Annie. I think I’m gonna go home now.”
Annie chuckles. She’s seen Jeff drunk before, but he’s never acted childlike - he must have been with Troy. Troy’s naïveté seems to rub off really easily. “Okay, Jeff. Goodnight.”
“Night.” Jeff takes a step away from her window, then freezes. “Annie?” he asks as he turns around.
“Yeah, Jeff?”
“Can I have a kiss goodnight?”
Normally, she’d slap him on the arm and call him a pervert. But he looks so sincere - she doubts he’s even thinking about her lips or the night of the Tranny Dance.
“Of course, Jeff,” she says softly. He comes back over and ducks his head, so his forehead is right in front of her face. With a small smile, Annie leans forward the remaining millimeters and gently kisses his forehead.
“Goodnight, Jeff. Call me tomorrow, okay?”
“I always do.”
***
“Jeff, can you get that?” Annie calls from the kitchen after the doorbell rings.
Jeff groans as he pushes himself off the couch. “Do you see this? This is my house, and she’s giving me instructions.”
Pierce and Shirley laugh good-naturedly. It’s August now, as evidenced by the fact that Jeff’s air conditioning unit has been running on full blast for the last two weeks. For the first time ever, Jeff’s hosting a study group get-together at his house; they’ve been having weekly barbeques and/or pool parties at Pierce’s mansion, but tonight’s get-together has a different purpose. It’s their welcome-home party for Britta, and Annie and Shirley (the self-designated party planners) figured Britta wouldn’t want to spend her night in a mansion. You know, not while kids are starving, and whatever.
“Hey, guys,” Jeff says as he opens the door for Troy and Abed. He points to the gift basket under Troy’s arm. “That for me?”
“Ha ha,” Troy says dryly as they enter Jeff’s entirely-too-small-for-seven-people apartment. “You wish, dude. This is for Britta. Annie said we were supposed to bring gifts.”
“You were!” Annie chirps as she runs in from the kitchen. “I’m glad to see you read the fine print on my e-vitation. You can just set that down over there,” she says, pointing to the table Jeff usually used for unread Christmas letters and the boxes of chocolate his mom sends every Valentine’s Day. The papers that formerly called that table home are currently sitting in a box that’s been shoved into Jeff’s closet, victims of Annie’s cleaning spree.
“Cool,” Abed says, taking the basket from his best friend and setting it down. His eyes immediately jump to Jeff, his eyebrows, as usual, giving the older man the willies. “Which one’s yours, Jeff?”
Jeff gives a non-committal grunt as he plops back down onto the couch. “That’s Jeff-speak for, ‘I didn’t find it necessary to get a gift for my friend who’s been traveling the world all summer,’” Annie says, her polite tone betraying the sarcasm of her words.
“Ha!” Troy exclaims. “I told you so, Abed! Give me my money!”
Jeff turns around. “You told him what? And - what?”
“Troy and I had a bet regarding whether or not you would give Britta a gift,” Abed answers calmly, making no move to hand Troy money. “I admit, I put too much stock into the bad-boy-with-a-heart-of-gold cliché - I assumed you would use this as an opportunity to apologize to Britta for the Tranny Dance debacle. But,” he says, now turning to Troy, “you said he wouldn’t give her a gift only because he had moved on from the events of the dance, having settled into a domestic routine with Annie. So you only get the money if that was, in fact, Jeff’s motivation.”
He turns on Jeff once again. “Was that your motivation, Jeff?”
“Uh -“ Jeff swallows. “I have no idea what you just said.”
Troy rolls his eyes impatiently. “Abed thought you would get Britta a gift because you felt bad about not loving her. I thought you wouldn’t get her a gift because you’re dating Annie. So who was right?”
“Wait, what?” Jeff sputters, just about the same time as Annie’s face turns a deep shade of scarlet. “I’m not dating Annie!”
“Oh.” Abed’s face remains impassive. “I’m wrong, then. I incorrectly analyzed the relationship that’s developed between the two of you.”
His eyebrows raise a mere millimeter - Jeff’s pretty sure this is Abed’s angry face. “Come on, Jeff. You know that sounded as painful as it was for me to say.”
“I’m serious!” Jeff stands up, now facing everyone in the room - except Annie. He’s kind of a little too nervous to look at her right now. “Pierce, Shirley, did you guys think I was dating Annie?”
The two exchange quick glances. “Uh -“ Shirley glares at Abed. “Abed! You told me they were dating!”
At least Pierce looks confused. Okay, yeah, it’s Pierce, but Jeff’s relieved to have at least one person on his side. “You’re nailing Big Boobs?”
“Okay!” Annie interjects, throwing up her hands. “No one is nailing Big Boobs. I mean - me! No one is nailing me! Or anyone!”
She pauses, turning to whisper something in Troy’s ear. He turns deep purple and sputters, “No, Annie, Abed and I aren’t ‘like that!’”
“Okay, sorry,” she says smoothly. “I had to ask. So no one is nailing anyone. Jeff and I are friends - that’s all. So - okay - yeah, we’ve been spending a lot of time together this summer. And, yes, we kissed after the Tranny Dance, but that doesn’t mean anything, so -“
“Wait.”
“Hold up.”
“Say what now?”
“You what?”
That voice is new.
Everyone turns around to see Britta standing in Jeff’s doorway, holding two large suitcases.
“Britta!” Annie exclaims, all the blood rushing out of her face. “How long have you been -“
She freezes, like she has no idea how to finish the sentence. Jeff figures he’d better do it for her. “Standing there?”
Annie whips her head around and glares at him. “I was gonna say back, but thanks, Jeff.”
He holds up his hands in defeat. Britta takes a tentative step into the apartment. “What exactly is going on here? ‘Cause what I heard was that Troy and Abed aren’t getting it on and that you guys -“
She blinks once, then a second time. Then it’s kind of all she’s doing, and it looks so freaky, Jeff feels like it’s his duty to distract her. So, naturally, he asks her if she wants some punch.
That immediately seems like a bad idea, especially because once Britta sets her gaze on him, it seems like she might actually be considering punching him.
But then she speaks, and she doesn’t sound like the tough girl who wears leather jackets and frequently goes on violent diatribes against global injustice. She sounds, simply, like a girl.
“You kissed Annie the night of the Tranny Dance?”
Yeah, Jeff really has no response to that. Luckily, Shirley seems to have one.
“But it’s okay, sweetie!” she chirps. “See, they’re dating now, which I know doesn’t sound like good news right away, but it is, because now Jeff won’t be all over you, and -“
“Shirley,” Jeff says through gritted teeth. “Once again - we are not dating.”
“Jeff,” Annie says softly, using her ‘now’s-so-not-the-time’ voice. Then she perks up. “Britta, come in. You can put your bags under that table there.”
Wordlessly, Britta sets her bags down, then, after a reassuring nod from Annie, sits down in an armchair far away from Jeff.
“What happened?” she asks, sounding defeated. It takes Jeff a moment to realize that she’s asking him.
Crap.
“Nothing,” he says quickly. “Nothing’s going on with me and Annie, so -“
Britta rolls her eyes. “Idiot. I don’t mean now. I mean then. Why would you kiss Annie when I was right inside?”
Jeff’s pretty sure that everyone else in the room takes that exactly the same way - as in, why would you choose Annie when you could have had me? Actually, on second thought, who cares what everyone else is thinking? All he knows is, Annie’s face in the span of, like, a tenth of a second, and he’s suddenly filled with the urge to buy her shiny things or maybe even a pony, as long as it’ll make her smile again.
“Britta,” Shirley whispers harshly, jerking her head toward Annie. As soon as she sees the younger girl’s defeated face, Britta’s eyes widen.
“No, Annie, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant - I mean - How could he, you know, do that and complicate things more when he already ran out on two people?”
Annie’s face relaxes a little, but her lower lip is still jutting out a little. Jeff’s suddenly overcome with the urge to take her and kiss that lip, just enough to -
Wait, what?
“We’re not dating!” Jeff shouts, trying to convince himself more than anyone else. “We’re not, okay? It’s that simple. So everyone just accept that, and let’s start the party, okay?”
There’s silence for maybe a fraction of a second.
Then Abed coolly responds, “You sure about that, Jeff?”
Jeff whirls around, his eyes burning holes through Abed. “Yes, Abed, I’m sure.”
Abed continues as if Jeff hadn’t spoken. “Let’s look at the evidence. You talk on the phone every night while watching TV - a classic Harry/Sally situation. You get drunk and can’t stop talking about her. It’s a clichéd, but effective, way of realizing one’s true feelings.”
That takes a moment to sink in. “Did you two intentionally get me drunk to find out if I liked Annie?!”
Abed doesn’t even try to deny it. “A necessary act. Sorry, Jeff. I hope you didn’t scare her too badly when you popped through her window. Anyway - where was I?”
Naturally, this question is directed at Troy. “We got Jeff drunk and all he wanted to do was see Annie.”
“Right.” Abed turns back to Jeff. “We got you drunk and all you wanted to do was see Annie. And look at the evidence here in your apartment.”
“What evidence?!” Jeff all but screams at him. He’s almost expecting Abed to pull out a pair of Annie’s underwear from a drawer, or something, except oh yeah, there’s nothing like that around here because they’re not dating.
Abed actually rolls his eyes. He rolls his beady little eyes, as if this conversation somehow beneath him. Jeff’s hands instinctively ball into fists, his fingernails cutting little half-moons on his palm; it hurts, but he figures it’s better than aiming themselves at Abed’s tiny little face.
“Jeff, please. You know what I’m going to say. You know because you’ve been asking yourself all summer how you feel about Annie. What your friendship means…what she thinks about you…where the line between friendship and more-than-that starts…”
Okay, that’s it. Jeff thunders over to Abed, pointing his finger right in the freaky man’s face. “You have no idea what you’re talking about, you…you…you evil wizard.”
Troy gasps. “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!”
Abed doesn’t even blink. “Come on, Jeff,” he says in what sounds suspiciously like a conspiratorial tone. “She’s throwing a party at your house. She cleaned the entire place. She’s telling people where to put things. She gave you a forehead kiss.”
Shirley gasps at the same time Jeff sputters, “How - How do you know that?! You weren’t even there!”
“Dude,” Troy whispers. “You-Know-Who is everywhere.”
“Dude,” Jeff says, rounding on Troy, “this isn’t Harry Potter, okay?” He turns back to Abed. “Okay, so you’ve proven that me and Annie are friends. Great detective work.”
“So tell me I’m wrong,” Abed responds, somehow still as cool as ever. “Tell me you’re not interested in dating Annie.”
Jeff pauses. “That’s - That’s not what we’re debating. We’re debating whether Annie and I are -“
Abed shrugs. “I turned the tables on you, Jeff.”
God. He is an evil wizard.
“I -“ Desperate for a way to get out of this conversation, he steps away from Abed and gesturing wildly at Annie. “You’re embarrassing her. Let’s just - Let’s forget all this, okay?”
No one looks like they’re going to protest, especially Britta. Abed just quirks an eyebrow, like he’s somehow gotten his answer. And then Jeff hears it - a tiny, wimpy voice.
“Answer the question, Jeff.”
He whirls around to see Annie staring intently at the floor, as if she hadn’t spoken. “I’m sorry, what?” he asks, absolutely positive that she hadn’t spoken, and it had just been his conscience.
She lifts one shoulder. “I’m just - I really like being your friend,” she says, slowly gaining the courage to look him in the eye. “Your best friend. So I’m not saying I need anything to change, I just - I want to know if you want things to change.”
“Um.” Jeff’s suddenly very aware that they’re surrounded by five very nosy people who could make their lives very, very difficult. So he steps closer to Annie, lowering his voice. “Annie, I don’t -“
He sighs, ignores the five sets of eyes on him, and tries again. “Can we go somewhere - somewhere not here - and talk?”
Annie blinks. Then she offers a tentative smile. “No, I don’t want to talk. It’s Wednesday - Big Brother’s on in a half hour. Wanna go watch at my house?”
Jeff grins at her, offering her the crook of his arm. She eagerly accepts it, and they begin their march out of Jeff’s apartment, oblivious to the five people they’re leaving behind.
Almost as soon as Pierce begins his thorough investigation of Jeff’s underwear drawer (he swears he’s looking for women’s underwear and/or pictures of previous conquests, but one can never be too sure), Jeff storms back into the apartment and kicks everyone out.
That night was the first time Jeff and Annie watched Big Brother together without the help of iChat.