ive been told that good things come with time
Today was the breaking point. I’m at the point with my parents where I’m afraid to ask to go out or to ask for money because I know they just cringe every time they sense the question about to be asked. Long story short: my dad and I got in a huuuge argument, so i went to my mom and we got in a huuuge argument, so I went to my room. My mom though I only wanted to “set things straight” with her because I wanted to go out tonight. She swears like the only reason I’m nice to her is because I want something. My dad thought the only reason I cleaned the house today was because I wanted to make them happy so they’d let me go out. NOT TRUE. But yeah, my dad was actually cool with me after a while. He said he’s tired of fighting too and he thinks maybe the 3 of us need family counseling. I started crying so hard after he said that. I duno why...its just kinda scary cuz I’ve always thought we had a pretty rad family. Not a family that needs counseling for crying out loud. I’ve always been the one with the really cool parents. The one who has friends that go “man your mom is so rad!” or “wow your dad cracks me up!”. I’m not supposed to be the one who is afraid of her parents. It’s never been like this and I dont know what happened, but it’s like that now. They’re my best friends. I usually talk to them like I talk to any friend of mine. We dont have the traditional family relationship where I get “grounded” or where I cant tell my parents anything about my “secret life”. We’re just really open with everything. I want it to stay like that =(
After a LOT LOT LOT of talking it over we came to a few conclusions. My dad admitted to me that he fears the future. He realizes that I’m 18 and I’m growing up. He told me that he’s really going to miss not having me around and it’s really starting to get to them now that I wont be around forever. He said he wants to stop the fighting because he doesn’t want to look back on these days and regret it. He wants to have happy memories of when we were still together in one house. He said that when my mom wants me home ridiculously early on some nights, its because she misses me and wants to spend more time with me. I do feel bad sometimes that I dont spend more time with them. I really need to sometime because they wont be around forever either, you know? It’ll build a stronger relationship too.
Oh, and about the job thing. My dad actually told me that he thinks its a good idea that I dont work during school if I dont think I can handle it. They like when I bring home straight A’s and they dont want anything getting in the way of my schooling right now. The money would be great, though. Sometimes I wonder if money will solve all my problems. God, I hope money isn’t the cause of all this trouble because its the dumbest reason to break up a family. We just need eachother, not stupid stupid money.
Grr...I just want all this to pass so I’m not so depressed. My break has just been really stressful. With the holidays and all, Im sure u can all imagine. Depression ruins my confidence. I started to question things with Branden and I for no reason whatsoever. I shouldn’t even have thought such a thing because you know what? He’s the number one person who has been there for me through all of this. He knows every bit of what’s been happening because he’s around all the time making sure I’m happy. When I’m sad, he gets sad. I love him, I really do. I love Litza too. She’s another person who has been there from the start. I love it when her and I just sit in her house or when we’re driving in the car and we just talk about EVERYTHING. I mean seriously, sometimes we have these big long adult-like conversations that I bet a lot of people like us would never talk about. But then at the same time, we can just sit at the dining room table and laugh till we cry just by repeating a word over and over until it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore. I think her and I will stick together for a REALLY long time.
To top this all off. I need my Nexus conditioner. Ive been out for a few days and my hair just isn’t looking right.
After a LOT LOT LOT of talking it over we came to a few conclusions. My dad admitted to me that he fears the future. He realizes that I’m 18 and I’m growing up. He told me that he’s really going to miss not having me around and it’s really starting to get to them now that I wont be around forever. He said he wants to stop the fighting because he doesn’t want to look back on these days and regret it. He wants to have happy memories of when we were still together in one house. He said that when my mom wants me home ridiculously early on some nights, its because she misses me and wants to spend more time with me. I do feel bad sometimes that I dont spend more time with them. I really need to sometime because they wont be around forever either, you know? It’ll build a stronger relationship too.
Oh, and about the job thing. My dad actually told me that he thinks its a good idea that I dont work during school if I dont think I can handle it. They like when I bring home straight A’s and they dont want anything getting in the way of my schooling right now. The money would be great, though. Sometimes I wonder if money will solve all my problems. God, I hope money isn’t the cause of all this trouble because its the dumbest reason to break up a family. We just need eachother, not stupid stupid money.
Grr...I just want all this to pass so I’m not so depressed. My break has just been really stressful. With the holidays and all, Im sure u can all imagine. Depression ruins my confidence. I started to question things with Branden and I for no reason whatsoever. I shouldn’t even have thought such a thing because you know what? He’s the number one person who has been there for me through all of this. He knows every bit of what’s been happening because he’s around all the time making sure I’m happy. When I’m sad, he gets sad. I love him, I really do. I love Litza too. She’s another person who has been there from the start. I love it when her and I just sit in her house or when we’re driving in the car and we just talk about EVERYTHING. I mean seriously, sometimes we have these big long adult-like conversations that I bet a lot of people like us would never talk about. But then at the same time, we can just sit at the dining room table and laugh till we cry just by repeating a word over and over until it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore. I think her and I will stick together for a REALLY long time.
To top this all off. I need my Nexus conditioner. Ive been out for a few days and my hair just isn’t looking right.